The nail on the head: the most funny and accurate classification of doctors! Bashny.Net

The website offers the reader the most accurate and very ironic description of what the doctor!





The therapist Is not a doctor, is the Manager. He has no idea how to treat you, but can tell you who knows it. If you know who knows it. But not the fact that someone he knows knows how to treat you. In General, despite the fact that medicine has leaped forward, the hope is still only in God, which, as you know, abolished in 1917.

Surgeon the Surgeon as he sapper. Wrong only once. True if the sapper is mistaken only one time in his life, the surgeon makes a mistake only once in your life. Even if the error of the surgeon you have managed to save a life, believe me, it's so you do not want to fuck. As a sapper, the surgeon is guided not by the accumulated information and intuition. And this is our happiness, as in medicine, intuition is still much more reliable.

Otolaryngologist these doctors obvious inferiority complex. At first they were called uhogorlonosami. But they seemed serious. Then they were called ENT physicians. But this was not enough for them. Now they have teamed up with speech therapists, because without the help of speech therapists people to say their new name can't. And, frankly, do not really want. The most significant help from these doctors, it is when you finally without a hearing aid able the first time to hear the name of his profession. It is necessary to you?

Dentist Sometimes to not recognize them immediately, they call themselves dentists. The worst doctors. One happiness of communion with them the average person is limited to 32 visits. And for those who have no wisdom teeth — 28 visits. But smart people have always said that fools life is a lot easier (12.5%). So decide for yourself.

Optometrist This too was not enough and they began to call themselves by ophthalmologists. People are extremely unpleasant, because we always want you to see what your eyes have not watched.

Gynecologist the Most deprived doctors, because they have two times less patients than the other doctors. Interestingly, among gynecologists are almost no men. Because everything is strictly gynecology-either you're a man or a gynecologist. Try 61,320 hours a year to look at the most interesting parts of women body, and I guarantee you, you will quickly lose interest in them. You can't turn a hobby into a profession.

The obstetrician is the Most respected doctor in medicine. It provides all the other doctors.

The doctor is the Only doctor which is associated with anything pleasant. Yeah... for Example, with fond memories. This is the most honest doctor. He is the one who you pay for the pleasure, despite the fact that it is a pleasure to deliver to you not him.

Neurologist Theoretically can cure everything except syphilis and fractures, as all diseases of the nerves. Almost absolutely useless. He can tell you, "don't be nervous", but as you have no idea how to do it.

An allergist is the Most proactive doctor. He is absolutely sure (and it should be noted, he has good reason) that all the inhabitants of this planet are his patients. Therefore, the main purpose in the life of the allergist is to find you have allergies, while you escaped.

A psychiatrist And that, accordingly, the most propassivny doctor. In contrast to the allergist, he only surmise that all the inhabitants of this planet are his patients, and does not want to look truth in the face. Use it too little. Tell me, how can a patient to help another patient? Interestingly, psychotherapists are there, but psychohistory never showed up.

Resuscitator The envious doctor. He just can't admit that you were happy at the time until he is forced to stay in this shitty world.

Psychiatrist No, I lie. Here they are just very jealous because they want to deprive a person of the last joy in life.

A sex therapist may God grant you never know about its existence.

Sexologist This is the bright side of a sex therapist. A sex therapist tells you that you have bad. Sexologist talks about how you to make it even better. The eternal theme — struggle of light and hopelessness.

The dermatologist should not laugh. If all name — very necessary, though very unfortunate doctor. You wonder who lives under your toilet rim and in other hard to reach places? No? And it is each of the reptile to know in person!

Proctologist Despite the fact that medicine has leaped forward, these doctors were remained in the ass.

The anesthesiologist is Very helpful doctor. It makes it so that you didn't feel anything. And if he makes a mistake — it's even better. In this case, you no longer will feel.

Gastroenterologist and nutritionist a useless product progress. Until the mid XX century, they successfully replaced the Solovki, Vorkuta, Sakhalin and other places of natural treatment.

Immunologist With a lazy doctor. He always tries to shift its work on your body.

The pulmonologist is the Only doctor who does not share the delusion of his colleagues, that if you quit Smoking, all diseases will themselves.

A urologist is a Doctor with a very narrow-minded. In contrast sexologist and sex therapist considers your manhood solely from the point of view of its secondary functions.

The cardiologist is Absolutely devoid of romantic feelings. Only he has the words "Heart, you do not want peace" do not cause any positive emotions.

Trauma These doctors love sports. Almost all types, except maybe chess.

Pharmacist If most doctors are trying to remove from the body superfluous, then pharmacology on the contrary try to push him more. And then see how the body will respond to bullying.

Toxicologist Thanks to pharmacologists this doctor will never be unemployed. At least at the moment pharmacology provide more than 50%.

A virologist is a sociable doctor. That he endured a rare joy almost every day to expand your circle of contacts.

The same epidemiologist virologist, but who suffers from delusions of grandeur.

A pediatrician is a Very cruel people. If the other doctors find us already in conscious age, the pediatricians are ready to deprive us of the most beautiful days of our lives — our childhood.

The podiatrist Eliminates the effects of the abuse of a person over their own body. If the pediatrician takes an interest in us from birth, then in the hands of a podiatrist we usually go right after school entry. In this respect, the podiatrists work closely with the Ministry of education.

A rheumatologist is the Most harmless doctor. He usually comes to you when you have sand is strewed, and you have been indifferent to the consequences of its treatment.

The radiologist These doctors are well-settled. First, they learn you x-rays. Then study the negative consequences of their previous study. The radiologist, in principle, can learn a lot about you, if he suddenly will appear the desire to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

The sleep That never heard? And for good reason. These doctors are willing to encroach on the most sacred thing we have — a dream. Purely theoretical — a very useful and versatile branch of medicine. Sleep only the thought of that sometimes is enough to cure one person from snoring to to save from insomnia to everyone around him. But how to cure this one, they think you haven't yet.

Physical therapist I think it's just sadistic. For some reason he is sure that if you are a good recoil shock, you will become much easier. Apparently as a child, these doctors liked to poke fingers in the socket, and now believe that everyone else must go through the suffering that they have experienced.

Hematolog And you thought it was all so simple — in the evening drunk and well all night hugging the toilet. And here and there. Hematolog from a scientific point of view knows exactly what you are sick. Even if your sick of him.

Endoscopist do This, do not feed honey, let me poke at you any crap that sometimes unknown to himself. However, the method is quite effective. Very often the body along with the endoscope itself spewing out all that the endoscopist from him and tried to get.

The medical examiner is the Only doctor who is not even trying to pretend that he is someone heals.

Pathologist the Most highly of all the doctors. Only he knows exactly what and why you hurt.

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