I don't understand

One of the biggest communication problems is fear look not to understand, stupid. You say something and you agree out of fear that, if you honestly admit that you do not understand, then you are rejected.

Then the speaking comes in the delusion that you understand it, and relies on your understanding of their future actions. That is, he doesn't communicate with you, and with that image you created. That is, you are still rejected, but only that you yourself thrown out of communication.





Fear of rejection until it has a value, yet you yourself do not want in your life little or no sense to you, yet you do not know how to solve their problems. Then another for you — the determinant of meaning, the person you need and solver of your problems.

And fear of rejection is the fear of losing such another, and not who he really is, if you hadn't loaded it these functions.

That is, you reject it, but he is not you, because not-being for you a sense of not-decisive of your problems, not proving your importance and usefulness, you don't need it.



 

If you solve their problems, define their meanings and themselves need, there is no problem to honestly say "I don't understand" or "I do not like it" or "I don't want to talk about it".

 



18 the invisible habits that can poison your lifeWhen he no longer loves...

If for another you're more than ponimatel that it is important to tell you, after some time of confusion you just have to change the format of relations. If it is no more — then Yes, you will break up. And no this is not a disaster. We each have our own way.

In dancing if a couple takes the nonsense, the problem can be four:

  • they can't dance

  • no communication between them

  • partner does not lead

  • partner does not hear

 

In life as well.published

Author: Nina Rubstein

 



Source: rubstein.livejournal.com/1430127.html