When the child grows up, the question about sleeping with my mom in the same bed, usually disappears by itself. But often the boundaries between private area parents and their children are erased, turning the lives of couples in a chain of misunderstandings, discomfort, fatigue and lack of attention to each other. Are all of these serious consequences, including a divorce, can be triggered by the behavior of the child, stubbornly wanting to sleep alone? Yes, it is.
The causes of the problems — the fears and lack of attention
The reason this situation arose in the family, though, and lie on the surface, but must clearly articulate:
- Fear of the mother for the child ("he will Have the psychological trauma," or "He's a baby and can't sleep myself – he's scared").
- The inability of the couple to be firm (parents give in to children's tantrums: "Okay, today you can tolerate").
- Unwillingness to work together (Pope accumulates resentment at the child for "stealing" the attention and affection of the mother, and mother believes that the partner is selfish, so subconsciously begins to feel the hostility).
Understanding what causes creates the situation, it is easy to begin a planned solution to the problem when the child refuses to fall asleep alone. Just follow the simple steps to wean your child from this habit.The game
Effective way to change the situation – to explain to the child that the room moms and dads – it's their territory and have to respect it. It is not necessary to forbid to go there, just need to indicate the border. After such a serious entry you need to go to the game suggestion: let the child himself will choose one day of the week, when it will not be included in the parents ' bedroom. Act out a story about what a dream baby cot is a great success. Let him win this prize.
We can not allow the stress to the child and to go to extremes: "From this day we a foot!", and the next day – "I can't do this: my heart aches for our baby. It is still small and let him sleep with us." Before bedtime you can sit with Chad, talk a bit, to calm and adjust on the security and sound sleep. This adaptation period should be left in the nursery the night light, read stories before bedtime and to show that parents still love their child and nothing in their attitude has not changed.Hardness
After all the rituals – just a dream. Do not succumb to the complaints and entreaties of the child. In their manipulations, the children go very far away and unable to invent new fears, if only to mollify parents and get them in the side. After the tales, the talk, the kiss on the forehead, should immediately leave and not to come to the child in the room, even if they are angry. Need to feel that even though parents and I love them, but the contract is to be performed, therefore, to sacrifice all their space and a bed no one will not bring.
Often an adult child sleeping in parents bed because they are unable to work together and gradually bring to Chad's idea about personal space. It is very important not to get off halfway and gradually rebuild the psychology of the child, to accustom him to the idea of sleeping in your bed as the only norm.
It's not easy, because the pity and the fear to hurt the child take precedence over logic. However, to give impossible. Even in such times supports thought about the benefits of these changes for children. Because the sooner they get rid of emotional dependence on sleeping with the parents, the better they will adapt and develop further.Mode
It seems that the most obvious and not noteworthy item. However, according to the child psychology, he is the most effective. Recurring every night action introduce order and system into the lives of children.
Need to gradually reduce the area in which the child is "there": first, he plays in all the rooms, and then only in the nursery, then reads next to his bed and then falls asleep in it. It is unobtrusive, but effective management of child's behavior: after a week the changes will be seen. The sequence of these actions would signal to a child's psyche, the activity will be diminished, and the child will become sleepy.
A simple way to speed up the gathering of the children in the morning7 verbal games, developing thinking
If you follow these simple rules, soon the child will no longer feel the need to joint dream with parents. It does not harmed neither the child's psyche, nor the marriage of the parents.published
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva