Order in the room of a teenager: but is it necessary? Bashny.Net

I love these few minutes of pleasant exhaustion when finished cleaning the apartment, sit in a favorite chair with a Cup of tea and a book, enjoying the clean and quiet. Why just a few minutes? Yes, because now came back from school my child — and about whatever happened. A familiar situation?

The problem of order in the house where there lives at least one teenager — global. She is so versatile and vast that can be the theme of the conference. So I will focus on your particular case:

first, the child has a separate room,

second, the adult family members love it when the house is clean and everything in its place.

Oddly enough, but the phrase "order in the boy's room" almost always comes with the words "make" and "make". Although it is proven that any attempt to force someone to do something against their will causes a reaction and leads to conflicts. Therefore, the only correct answer to the question "how to make?" — no way! Tested on their own experience.

I'm trying to solve this problem for the second time. 21 years ago was born my eldest daughter and the first 7 years, I followed the advice of "do it together", "helping to clean up toys", "buy a convenient storage containers", etc. But enough for a daughter, as a creative person, preferred a different approach to the storage of their property. A few times, taking advantage of her absence, I was going through piles of books, toys, pencils, brushes, filling garbage bags with the dismembered dolls, scraps of paper, broken crockery and dry markers.

And it just is not necessary? — anxiously asked my husband.

— Trust me: she will not even notice the disappearance of these items — I retorted, taking out the trash another bag. And she was right!

The time passed and the situation has not changed. In the course were all the words on the letter U: persuasion, persuasion, threats, accusations, reproaches, tenacity... But as you said my child: I have a right, just he doesn't look like yours!





In General, it's been a few tough years of fighting with windmills, before I realized that the problem of order in the child's room is far-fetched to me. What is it I need to have everything laid out on shelves, the Desk was a virgin empty, and dolls and cars stood straight in a row and strictly on the size. Somehow, I believed that any deviation from this ideal picture of the world in a single room will attest to the fact that I'm a bad mother and a bad housewife. I also had to realize and accept the fact that love for cleaning is not a sign transmitted by inheritance. And no one (especially my children) are not required to support my complexes on the topic "I only weapon in the light of all the economic?".

So when my girl turned 11, I stopped to clean her room and took a strategically important decision — we signed a contract. Its essence is this: in her room she can do anything, but outside it must be as I like. Why? Yes, because who brings order — and he dictates the rules.Not to say that I was completely happy with the result and I liked it. In the girls ' room was still a mess, the designated daughter as "a creative mess". She easily fished out of this mess the right thing and never asked the question "where are my tights?" — she knew that they lie in the same box as the textbook for literature.Several times I threatened her to take pictures of this, by my standards, a horror and send them to her Facebook friends — but, fortunately, did not dare to take this step. Why? Because time is understood: as sung in the famous song, "most important weather in the house" and not perfect.

What brought my tactic? You'd be surprised, but now that my daughter is three years living alone, she puts things in order and what's more — she likes the house clean and beautiful. There is, however, a couple of wardrobes, which she describes as "Narnia" — in the sense that it is better not to open. But in General, I am proud of her! It's simple: we, the parents, by their example, ask your children a model of behavior in different situations, including in the household. Teenage rebellion is inevitable, it is a protest against parental rules and attitudes against established order (even if in separate rooms). But it will pass, believe me! And your child will like you. And he's got a tablecloth on the table — to the mother, and the dirty dishes to accumulate, he will not — because the house did not.

Now I'm going through a teenage crisis — now with the son. Everything is almost the same — an agreement has been reached on the division of territorial spheres of influence and control, and I stopped to clean his room. There are already indications that this work — in sports camp, training camp, the competition my son observes cleanliness and phenomenally adds things, plunging into shock coaches and parents of teammates. I smile and hear admiring compliments our parenting skills, and think to myself: "you should have Seen his room on which you walk as through a minefield, afraid to step on anything important and necessary, which are not lying, and LIES!!!"

In General, I am calm and it will pass. And I will be in the memories of children are not boring aunt with a rag and cleaner, and cheerful woman that always have something to talk about and with whom you can always negotiate! published

 

Author: Ageeva Irina

  

Source: www.nashideti.site/?p=4943