More recently, uperevshis, you flew from the nest to an independent life. The rapid flow of events carried farther and farther from home. It seemed everything is possible, everything is achievable, everything is easy!
But at some point, something went wrong... I Lost my job, broke up with her boyfriend, has no place in a University dormitory, a small salary does not allow to live in a rented apartment. And here like a whipped dog, you are forced to return to her parents. Maybe before the relationship was difficult, and now... Even worse to go cap in hand, being pregnant (man disappeared into the fog of obscurity to work "with the belly" do not take).What to do? How to be? How to behave in this situation?
1. This is not your house
While growing up and studied — it was the family home. Could establish its own rules on its territory. Now it is the territory of the parents. As you know, "in a strange monastery with its Charter, not walk" so the rules that are set for you parents must be respected. Like them or not.
Parent territory – their rules. Consider asked to wait for strangers. If parents require "as little" came home no later than 10pm, never brought girlfriends and men, no plant Pets, remember they have that right and therefore you must obey!
The good news is, if you have your own room in the parental home. In my room you can do whatever you want, if not beyond its limits. To clean or not to clean, make repairs, rearrange furniture and even Smoking. But, for example, loud music that disturbs parents is not necessary. Put on your headphones and enjoy!
And so in all: first defined, whose turf is this? If the parent is subject. If your doing your own.
For example mom criticizes you, maybe today she decided to Express all that pent up. Came to the kitchen to make dinner and then it began... Her territory, she is entitled to have an opinion and even to Express it. BUT whose ears? Whose soul? Consciousness whose? Yours! You have every right NOT to listen. Take your plate and retreat to my room. I can say something like: "Mummy, I love you very much. But when you tell me that I'm arrogant and irresponsible, I was mad. So I'm not going to listen to not be angry and not to argue with you."
Victoria Kirdiy2. Discuss the conditions of the hostel
, ideally, moving to the parents, it is important to sit down at the negotiating table and to discuss everything:
- Will you contribute to the family budget money (for accommodation, for food)? If Yes, how many?
- Will you cook this or that, still, will be in charge of mom?
The more issues you discuss, the less reasons for conflict: a turn in the bathroom in the morning, on the shelves and in the cupboards, taking out garbage, grocery shopping, etc. Why men one women give gifts, while others — NOTthe Alfred Laengle: Each person needs society to become a 3. Thanks
Often thank their parents, even for the little things. After all, they don't owe you anything. All that could, they already did: gave birth to, raised, as best they could — educated. And they came to help in the difficult period of your life.
Want a good relationship. Friendly atmosphere in the family will help to rise on feet and hard to walk to go to conquer new peaks of life. published
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva