Rules are good because for each of them there is an exception. You predicted that you wouldn't last together a year, and you have children and grandchildren. Then the more you have a reason to laugh over the lists and forecasts. But in them there is truth, and for many they will be useful.
1. Pair that disturbed the emotional balance
If emotionally one of the partners takes all the work themselves, after some time, the balance of the pair is broken. And this in turn changes the dynamics of the relationship. Relationships require effort and care: watering, trim dead branches, pulling weeds or feed.
It happens that one of the partners all the time first apologizes, settles conflicts with the outside world or "disperse the clouds" and wipes his tears, and the second more and more naughty: so nice to feel that you are spoiled... But it is in your best interest not to assign your partner the final role of the fighter-heavyweight or heavyweight. Someday he will come to believe that relationship with you is more like hard work.
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2. Those who select a partner with a list of requirements in hand
There is nothing wrong to marry a high sport of the financier, who in his spare time writes poetry. There are couples who seem perfect in all respects. And then after a while discover that they have different views on some prosaic things of life, which we did not go, – like whether marriage is to be monogamous and who will take out the trash.
The pragmatic Americans used in the context of marriage the term deal breaker is a "condition that prevents a deal" or "a decisive adverse factor." There are conditions under which psychologists do not recommend to marry, and they involve conflict of interest. You can not ignore them, if the conflict concerns the underlying values, beliefs and lifestyle. For example, if one of you contends that dislikes children, there is a possibility that he'll change his mind, but more likely not.
3. Those hoping to re-educate each other
You can't marry someone who will be your partner, you marry the person who he is now. If there is something that annoys you, get used to the idea that this trait is not going anywhere. It makes sense to think of it, if you can live with all its shortcomings. By the way, not all of them are too unbearable. Thrifty? Ever this will help you get through difficult times. He has a lot of relatives and your doors are not closed neither on weekdays nor in the weekend? So your children will grow up in a noisy company and will not have problems with whom to leave the child while he's small...
4. Fans fight back
She cheated, he evened the score, going on holiday with a colleague. He didn't want to go to Sunday lunch to meet her parents, and now they from a principle do not go to visit his family.
This is a very bad habit. The game will continue until, until one of you grows up and no longer play it, to leave all the controversy behind, with the dead relationship.
5. Sex and nothing but sex for dinner, Breakfast and lunch
Hot as coffee beans from roasters, mind-blowing sex is a dream for many. But in long-term relationships will sometimes have to talk. And then the surprises begin. What a pity that full compatibility in sex is not always guarantee full compatibility in long-term relationships.
6. A pair of daffodils
Those who fit the description of a narcissistic personality, is very difficult in a relationship. They are so absorbed in themselves that "forget" to show empathy and sympathy to his wife, and this is one of the most important components of a long and successful marriage.
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7. A couple that never spoke about money
Talking about money is definitely not the sexiest, but to start it before the wedding and from time to time to get back to it when you're already married, just need. Who will work for a full day, how much time you will be sitting with the children, how will you get Finance at this time. Your partner says that a woman should take care of the children and wait her husband from work? Do not be touched and do not swallow the phrase: "we have Enough money for it, if you can take on extra work?", – ask him this question. When the family disputes about money and about spending, experts in the field of family relations I think this is one of the most important predictors of the upcoming divorce.
8. Maj Dec
The difference in 30 years significant when 25 and 55 years, but at the age of 45 and 75 it will only get worse. Of course, I want to live my youth again, looking at the young creature, and I want to have a number of serious held a man. There are exceptions, and we wish you to become the exception.
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9. "Get out – Oh no, come back! Go away, bad boy…»
There are artistic couples who can't get through the day without dramas, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Usually it is people demonstrative type that need the attention of the public, the need for constant audience, even one sitting in a dark room. They go like the last act of the play, and after that will be followed by applause. But often this is followed by only lightweight breath of the partner and the whole family.published