The will is necessary where there is resistance

"Children should be forced to learn, and then he begins to love that which knows" — this was the refrain at all parent meetings that I attended in high school when my son was studying.

You know these words? Sometimes, the adults tried to convince me that he is very grateful to my parents for the violence perpetrated on them in childhood: "I was forced to study music. I hated those eternal scales, etudes. But only now realised that the parents were right in forcing me to go to a music school. They have developed in me the will."

 



The will is necessary where there is resistance. The will elevated to the rank of something very meaningful. It seems that without the will of the person is not able to achieve success in life. Significant results seem more important than the enjoyment of life in all its aspects. To overcome laziness in himself spent a fair amount of energy, instead of to consider the causes that led to the rejection.

Not even noticed that suppression in itself the resistance leading to greater apathy, if the results of labor are not recognized by those at whom broke yourself. If all you do for your own satisfaction, then perhaps there is something inside that resists the act? It turns out that the will is directed against them in order to achieve the results required to show the outside world.

Overcoming challenges I once considered an important skill. But one day I realized what is happiness when doing things you love without resistance. Achieve much greater results when not making a volitional effort to overcome internal exclusion.

If a child is something resists, I first identify the causes that led to this. I don't teach it's violence that is the essence of will. On the basis of personal preferences of a child can understand what it may be interested in a particular process. And this interest begins to build a strategy of including the child in activities that he was previously unpleasant. That is, I teach the child not to go on about formed preferences and to recognize your feelings and analyze why they occur.

Often it happens so that the thing that child was doing, experiencing difficulties, he rejected not because of the content of the process, and because of the entourage. Unconscious emotion when he reacted to the comments, went deep into the subconscious, firmly uniting with what he was doing. If he was the moment keen, but faced with external aggression, it is his interest, not even got stronger, grows in negativity.

One has only to identify a situation in which there was an emotional failure, it is possible to bring the child to the understanding of the mechanisms of emergence of resistance. It is possible to do in adolescence, when the only more form stable dominant focus. You can help to see the difference between the attraction to entertainment is committed as an escape from the meaninglessness and a desire for a specific result in meaningful activities.



 

Kids enthusiastically draws. You approach him and demand him to stop the activity as you somewhere late. You annoyed. You're angry that the child can quickly switch, does not listen. He wants to finish his drawing. He is excited by his inspiration.

Raises eyes on you in anticipation that you will share in his emotions. And then he comes upon your severity, a grimace, which could be considered disgust: the child is not skilled in recognizing feelings. Here it is, the moment of truth! One day my mother was surprised to notice that the child, before that loved to sit for hours drawing, now refuses to take up pencil and brush. It happened once with my daughter. Just one visit to a school lesson on drawing was enough for several years to discourage her desire to draw. Once she understood the reason, which led to the rejection, and you have any desire to paint.

It is not necessary to teach children strong-willed to overcome laziness. Need to treat not a disease of the emotions, and identify the root cause that led to disease. And the resistance, usually called laziness itself vanishes. Attitude is built on the principles of engagement in it based on positive emotions.

Meaningful makes a person flexible. He acquires the ability of self-adjustment to any processes, which embeds himself with ease and excitement. In any case you can see sense, and then doing not burn through energy, saving time, does not suffer from self-confidence and self-esteem increases. The case is made not for bringing someone results, not for high scores, and in order to achieve the goal identified for themselves at the stage of reflection. There is a strong lifting force, contributing to the fact that obstacles are not seen. It seems that man lives effortlessly.

 

Also interesting: Why you should not force children to go to music school and dancing

Whether it really is the right education?

Will make me inflexible and dependent on the approval of society. I took for granted a postulate that will helps a person to move fearlessly toward the difficulties and that it is impossible to reach the desired goal without overcoming itself. With such a focus on the life I'm naturally attracted to trouble and "overcome yourself". I couldn't distinguish their internal incentives.

Since childhood, I was programmed to overcome and life is in the struggle. The lightness of being I was scared, and I desire to rest with the fright perceived laziness, doubling the efforts for its eradication. The body, worn out by the struggle, once refused, and I, lying on a hospital bed, feeling like a charity case. I was ashamed to accept, I only know how to give. It was then that I ran listened to the word "will", hearing sacramental and familiar from childhood: "You must live...".

Sounds strange: the"will to live" — like someone to live makes. And how organically interwoven into the fate of the "will to live", making the attitude to life is optimistic and filled with joy. It is the desire to live gave me the taste for life. published

 

Author: Love Zgonnik

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: vk.com/a.s.neill?w=wall-23183549_4905