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5 reasons children's whims
"Quick shut up!", "How ugly" and "Please, calm down!" – the typical reaction of parents on children's tears, tantrums and whims. The answer, usually, is also typical – the tears were still more bitter, and the screams are loud. And it is not because "he", "he wants to bring" or "does not understand"...
Don't understand, rather, we – the reasons for this behavior. And that's why I can't find a common language. But if you understand what was going on, understanding will come much faster.
The reason - fatigue and discomfort
I want to sleep, drink or eat hot, stuffy, presses the belt or strap shoes, stomach ache. To perform your as little five years old is not easy – it is bad, and that's it. The heartfelt conversations and the most sophisticated psychological techniques powerless, not yet eliminated the main reason. To wash, to water, to give a banana to hold and soothe is primary, and the conversation about the behavior can be postponed. Often already unnecessary.
The reason for the excitement
In common parlance – "ungrateful are always a little". Park, cinema, cafes, ball – it would seem, then another, and suddenly the child falls into a hysterics, demanding cotton candy, which, unfortunately, ended. Too many emotions, even positive – is also a test for a child's nervous system. And to unwind, he instinctively "looks for" the cause. In General, in the case of children more entertainment isn't always better. And time to feed the pigeons crumbs or just look at the clouds.
Reason: inability to Express his emotions
He was frightened, offended, or upset, wants to be alone, or quite the opposite, but doesn't know how to explain it. Signals and the only way possible: with a shout and cry. Behind it can stand the "poor me", "say you love", "calm". To help the child to understand it, talk to him: what he feels, what he wants, how to explain it.
Reason - to check the boundaries
— Mom, can I go (on the swing, walk, ice cream?)
— No!
— Well, mA-am, well, ple-ASE.
— Okay, but this is the last time!
Children need rules. And when they change depending on the mood of the parent, the child is nervous, and trying to figure out where she is, the border of the forbidden? Is it possible to go? And what will happen? Such "testing" end when "can", "no" and "depending on the weather (deeds, behaviour)" become regular and predictable. And the belief that the mother can beg, most importantly to roar louder, will lead to new and new whims.
The reason - lack of attention
Attention is different – the books and games, a punishment and lecture. First, of course, better. But if not, the fit and the second is better than my mother's back for unchanged computer or next to the stove. Will scold, and then be brought up, and then forgive, hug and kiss in General, are distracted from their boring adult things.
With young children this often happens when mom is not just busy, but "gives" precious attention to someone else – a friend for tea, and colleagues in a telephone conversation, acquaintance on the street. Regularly expressing love with words, kisses, and chores, you can reduce the hail and the number of such attacks.
Source
Source: /users/1081
Don't understand, rather, we – the reasons for this behavior. And that's why I can't find a common language. But if you understand what was going on, understanding will come much faster.
The reason - fatigue and discomfort
I want to sleep, drink or eat hot, stuffy, presses the belt or strap shoes, stomach ache. To perform your as little five years old is not easy – it is bad, and that's it. The heartfelt conversations and the most sophisticated psychological techniques powerless, not yet eliminated the main reason. To wash, to water, to give a banana to hold and soothe is primary, and the conversation about the behavior can be postponed. Often already unnecessary.
The reason for the excitement
In common parlance – "ungrateful are always a little". Park, cinema, cafes, ball – it would seem, then another, and suddenly the child falls into a hysterics, demanding cotton candy, which, unfortunately, ended. Too many emotions, even positive – is also a test for a child's nervous system. And to unwind, he instinctively "looks for" the cause. In General, in the case of children more entertainment isn't always better. And time to feed the pigeons crumbs or just look at the clouds.
Reason: inability to Express his emotions
He was frightened, offended, or upset, wants to be alone, or quite the opposite, but doesn't know how to explain it. Signals and the only way possible: with a shout and cry. Behind it can stand the "poor me", "say you love", "calm". To help the child to understand it, talk to him: what he feels, what he wants, how to explain it.
Reason - to check the boundaries
— Mom, can I go (on the swing, walk, ice cream?)
— No!
— Well, mA-am, well, ple-ASE.
— Okay, but this is the last time!
Children need rules. And when they change depending on the mood of the parent, the child is nervous, and trying to figure out where she is, the border of the forbidden? Is it possible to go? And what will happen? Such "testing" end when "can", "no" and "depending on the weather (deeds, behaviour)" become regular and predictable. And the belief that the mother can beg, most importantly to roar louder, will lead to new and new whims.
The reason - lack of attention
Attention is different – the books and games, a punishment and lecture. First, of course, better. But if not, the fit and the second is better than my mother's back for unchanged computer or next to the stove. Will scold, and then be brought up, and then forgive, hug and kiss in General, are distracted from their boring adult things.
With young children this often happens when mom is not just busy, but "gives" precious attention to someone else – a friend for tea, and colleagues in a telephone conversation, acquaintance on the street. Regularly expressing love with words, kisses, and chores, you can reduce the hail and the number of such attacks.
Source
Source: /users/1081
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