Parents, follow the format ! Bashny.Net

Curious children have grown demanding and strict parents, very often in his memoirs speak of his childhood is quite positive and say that just going to raise their children. It is particularly interesting that in families with a much warmer attitude of the parents, the children often grow up to be unhappy and parents, and how they were brought up, and other. Why? What does it depend? We call two factors: control of the format and status of teachers.



© Norman Rockwell

With the status of educators mostly clear: if the parents respected others, if the other kids jealous that you have such parents, especially if your dad is the king and mom's a Princess, and education from these moms and dads usually like more than if dad is the electrician at the plant, and my mother is a laundress. Children status parents appreciate.

However, it seems that the control format plays an even greater role. Under control of the format we have in mind to control body corset, control of expression and control conversations, commenting on the interaction of students and educators. If pupils are given orders, and children at this time, grimace, building dissatisfied and resentful faces and accompany what is happening ironic remarks, it is fixed as a negative game habit: the child will be unhappy with what is happening. If beautiful General order, during which children stand erect, with flattened shoulders, with a confident expression and confirm: "Yes, it will be executed!" the positive suggestion of the body will give the child the vision that he had a great life and a wonderful childhood. Demanding parents get the title ill when they are not demanding, and that is insufficiently attentive to the format and allow disgruntled faces. Paradoxically, forbid more and the children will be happy...

Similarly, in soft and free education: if you are such that parental warmth evoked warm response children, communication between parents and child was accompanied by the joyful face of a child, the warm embrace of his beloved parents and the words: "Beloved mother!" then years later, already adult, the former child will remember his childhood with the most sincere warmth. If loving parents got into that in response to their warmth a child Hamming, building faces and yells at them "You don't love me!", then years later their grown-up babe can easily make up that his parents still didn't.

Start to follow the format with the most simple and natural: to accustom to the fact that, if the children need something, they talk about it without crying and shouting. Don't guess what the kids want from you is your tears. Let them learn while they are crying — because you don't understand. You can understand what they want only when they clearly say what they want.

More difficult, but it is equally important to monitor what children are allowed to speak themselves against parents. Interestingly, in the memoirs of Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich, he talks about how they never came to treat their parents without respect. "One idea, to come to the father and bother his vague conversations with no special purpose, just seemed crazy." Children need to learn seemingly basic things: my mother never under any circumstances to hit (unfortunately, in some families, moms Teens not sure of that), the parents do not call, parents shouldn't raise my voice (it is possible to defend their point of view, but it is a quiet tone) — and so on.

Parents in communicating with your children follow their format! However, it is also true that responsible parents watching in the first place the format of your own communication. Kids need a good example!

источник:psychologos.ru

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