Parents are the basic program in a child's life. part 2
PARENTS ARE the BASIC PROGRAM IN a CHILD's LIFE (part 2)
PARENTS ARE THE BASIC PROGRAM IN A CHILD'S LIFE GROWING OUTWARDLY INTO AN ADULT, BUT ALWAYS REMAINING A CHILD INSIDE…
In this part I want to continue the topic with the following question to you, dear reader. At least how many "persons" or "roles" is present in the parent application, if the child is being raised by two parents? Please note, I asked about the minimum of the actors from the two parents…
Forty five million five hundred eighty nine thousand nine hundred thirteen
In General, you will get straight to the point. The four protagonists of two parents are present in the program for the child. This mom and dad towards the child, the husband and wife against each other. The child unconsciously reads, observes everything he sees in sight, even not having a developed system of evaluative judgments, and all that is seen of them recorded in his subconscious. Then, the picture of the world posed to the child and consists of four roles, laid the dual program. We are talking about the minimum roles and programs. How father and mother relate to the child everything that they give him both morally and materially — is the program number one – parent two. how husband and wife relate to each other in the eyes of a child, and that they give each other both morally and materially, is the program number two is married. With all these programs simultaneously and separated, and combined, no matter how it's ironic. I probably much about the same, but I try to paint a picture as is available. People often do not take the trouble to think about it deeper, which is a pity. And this is my next story.
THE SECOND STORY
In a friendly conversation friend, the businessman shared his life situation, towards whom he felt some awkwardness and, I would say, a certain share embarrassment. The situation has touched his family — the child and wife. "In the last year," he began, " I have significantly increased work: the case piled an avalanche, no time to rake them, one thing after another and none of them cannot be postponed. Time for a family does not remain absolutely. And wife, unfortunately, nagging and nagging about my employment. Said: "You completely abandoned the child and not give him time. Would work out with my son, talked, walked to go somewhere with him. Your son is living as an orphan living with his father, I'm not talking about myself. The more I know nothing."
In this place it is appropriate to say, so what? So what is now often a common situation, and it is now no surprise. Those who do business or work a lot, I know this firsthand.
His next words made me wish to ask him a few questions. "I, — he continued — really try to plan the time so that was the opportunity to spend time with my son. But in some strange way things just added, as if out of nowhere, and they don't become less, no matter how much I altered and they are important they will not lay. And I'm sorry that I can't seem to find the time for my son. But on the other hand, to be honest, somewhere deep down, I don't really want to spend time with him, because I do not know and cannot imagine what to say to him and what and how to do... And I don't know why this is happening — after all, he's my son, I love him and, by definition, must be committed to it. But I have this desire to son no. As there is no desire deep inside me to spend more time with him. I have some resistance and split, and I don't see how it can be? The love son, I miss you, and desire him not. And wife to see often not very desirable, and I can't say that treat her bad. It's easy for me to give her money as much as she wants, and don't care where and on what it spends them. I can easily spend my time at work outside the home, but when it comes time to go home, as if the brakes are applied, on the feet, if the load hangs. And good to me and easy to go home when the wife and son go somewhere on vacation, and nobody at home except me." The man's face expressed confusion. "Maybe I'm not all right, what's wrong with me? Not understand.»
I asked about the age of the son is eight years old. Next, I asked, is it always so was and in relation to the son, and to his wife? "No, — shook his head, the businessman, — it was different. It used to be easy, and I somehow knew what to say and what to do with your son, easily found common language with him. Yes with the wife in the relationship was easier, as if by itself everything worked". How long have this happen was with him, was my next question. "Yes, that's about a year," came the answer, and then he suggested that maybe it's because his work: before, and Affairs were smaller and looser he was.
Then I began to ask the man about the family of his parents. His father and mother, whether they live together. "No, mother and father were divorced when I was seven years old. And married she never went out, raised me alone." Clarifying the situation with his parents, I turned him a picture of events developing in the last year between him, his son and wife. And explained the reason of the state of duality.
When he was a child, then seven years of his life before his eyes had two parents, and as I mentioned above, his double in the parent application, there were four characters — a husband, father and mother, and wife. Important point, please consider it: it does not matter, rightly or wrongly, behave like adults, and as parents towards the child, and as husband and wife against each other. They are just in any way, showing their behavioral reactions, which reads and remembers the subconscious of the child. And then, just to remind your subconscious of what you see and already stored in memory, gives the programme of action. The subconscious no assessment of right or wrong, only what is, and what is, is thrown into life as a program to control the actions and life of man. So, in seven years of a life and world view of the child was removed only one person in two persons, "father – husband", and from this dual program, respectively, the removal of the three persons — father, husband, wife. Left only mother. In this place I propose to recall what happens with one parent in the picture world of the child. Mom transformirovalsya in MAPOU and, apparently keeping the signs of their sex, in their behavioral qualities becomes an integrated person average floor.
It turns out that up to seven years from the picture of the world in the subconscious mind of the boy met the program behavior of the father towards him as a child and the program behavior of the husband towards his wife, and wife to her husband. These programs, which, as an adult, he played in his family, where he was a husband and father. And then what happens? And in the picture of the world, and as a result, in the program, which previously was "prescribed" behavioral role of father to child, husband to wife, wife to husband, everything is clean. Then just the spacebar, because there is none of the listed participants. It remains only MAPA. The approximate algorithm development, the program maps I described in the first story. I believe, my dear reader, I quite clearly lay out a description of how programs work? By the way, scenarios and behaviour of the parents a lot and I will try to present them consistently in a series of articles on this topic, because it is extensive.
What was the cause of a certain state of duality in men against the son and wife? I suggest again to look at the situation. As a businessman in the subconscious there was a program father married before the age of seven he was able to communicate easily and find easily a common language with the members of his family, neosoznanno knowing how to behave with wife and child, but it is up to the same time — to the age of his son. And then the men's program father and husband there, and his subconscious began to stall: when the program ends is crashing. Tell the reader whether the computer or any device working with programming to work, when there is a software glitch? Of course not.
The businessman had been a software glitch, and the son and the wife is still there. But since then the gap, the void, the subconscious is usually two variants of development of events in human life. Or is the destruction, the destruction of the family, or the man with the "space program" is removed from the family, but not completely, and, as in our case, completely on the "top" collapses Affairs, appearing as if from nowhere. When a person has certain feelings, but performs actions opposite to these feelings gives rise in man protracted state of internal conflict, which in turn creates tension in the human body. All this can be described by a single word — stress. If you delete a family, i.e., divorce for men there are a couple of scenarios: either a new family with repeat events or remaining a free - climb of one relationship to another, the length of which is approximately clear.
And finally, this story is another explanation. There is a saying: "a secondary cause or benefits give rise to internal resistance and the internal resistance in turn leads to external circumstances in such a way that they interfere with the execution of something specific". What's the meaning of that? How to understand this?
When our businessman has occurred software failure, the time "gap". And since he didn't know how to behave with his son, he starts a subconscious resistance to spending time with him. But at the level of mind and living conditions very inappropriate and ugly saying "I love your son, but spending time with him don't want to explain why I can't, and therefore don't want to...". You see, reader, well what a normal person can understand this? How not to understand the man himself that comes with it. And to make it look "decent" and respectful on the outside, visible plan for all, without exception, the subconscious mind creates the external circumstances, quite objective, quite serious, in which the man himself, such as, and not guilty, but which prevent the execution of something specific. In the case of our hero it was about the serious business that lay, it seemed, as if out of nowhere, with no end of filling and taking all his time. But to postpone their decision really was no way.
The man was astonished that his current situation is in relationship with his son and wife originates so far in his childhood and parents. A little comprehended what I said, he said that after he found out what really affects this development, it made him feel better. This explanation fits in his head and taken somewhere inside him, without protest. Relieved from the thought that actually, in fact, he's all right, because he couldn't understand why this was happening. That son loves and at the same time experiencing resistance to fellowship with him. And to his wife. Some time later he moved with his family to the new residence. And how to further develop the events and relationships in the life of a businessman after the conversation, I do not know. published