About the parents have something to say Bashny.Net

My friends, please, if your elderly mom or dad go to the appointment with the oncologist, and if we are talking about first identified the cancer, the planning of examination and treatment, please go to your parents together. Everywhere. All doctors, of all examinations. The same goes for your husbands and wives if you will not 20-30 years, and if in your family there is trust and understanding.

For a person, especially older women and men of a certain age (don't know why, but young women and men older than 70 years it is better adapted to the dangers) the first awareness of cancer is stress, severe stress. This understanding is life-threatening, and sometimes exaggeration of the threat.

Many people, especially the elderly, have developed over their lives the idea that cancer is a death sentence. These people have already lost their friends and relatives who have died from cancer, and now this danger has come to them.



 

What a man does when he thinks that he is told that he is terminally ill? The first reaction, and sometimes the only thing it can do is denial. Moreover, denial is not the right word. I would call this the reaction of most rejection. The rejection of the idea of their own illness and their own limbs. Rejection of the need to delve into the news, and even more, to begin to take some important decisions. The decisions now can save lives if adopted.

People are sometimes so rejects all that he can't even hear the words of the doctor, and unable to understand them. As if to say, that this total reaction is the rejection of all that is connected with the necessity to accept the disease. People in this situation sometimes actually incapacitated, disoriented, and can not understand what the doctor said, and to make the right decisions. It will take some time and he will adapt. Will disease will be angry, will operate, in General, will go back to normal disease. But first, a very early stage, it is not always capable of. And this stage, the initial stage of examination and treatment planning is the most important.

Yesterday I visited an elderly woman. On the skin of the tibia major, advanced melanoma. T4 supposedly. Earlier the woman already was in the oncologist, the oncologist outlined her diagnosis and plan for further examination and treatment. Daughter encouraged to contact me so I can see.

Why did a woman came to me? In fact, in the hope that I will refute the diagnosis. I will say that everything is fine.
It is very well read. But alas, I agree with the previous diagnosis of an oncologist. And I can't hide the diagnosis — it's against the law, nor to downplay its seriousness. And and so she knows that this is a serious diagnosis.

And I will deal with it, describe the necessary steps and see that it simply does not perceive what I say. Repeatedly asks whether there is any hope, and words that hope did so, that there are many chances that after surgery everything will be okay, asked this question of hope again and again. And again and again, my answer to that is, and that this hope is connected with necessity of surgical treatment, rebooted, said that there is no hope, says can be treated with herbs, is there any hope, and so on.

And here me her daughter. Or husband. Or any other relative. Which, although will also be under stress, but much less pronounced, and where the program's denial of the news will not be loaded. Because I have a lot to explain, and it is necessary to understand. The fact that you will not write any conclusion, only words can explain. And nobody, just nobody. The patient is not able to perceive, and the man who is with her, and who will take on the near future responsibility, no.

I tried to explain to the patient that it is important to her children then went to the doctors with her. Participated in the screening and visiting doctors in her town, took everything under control. She has two, and I hope that they are all the same now will find that their participation is necessary. Will take leave of absence. Yes, we all work, it's understandable, but sooner or later there comes a time when you have to take a vacation. Not for himself, not for the rest. For the business that you have, perhaps, a little time left.

The same with middle-aged men. You think that your father/husband is a strong man in the Prime of life? He is the head of the enterprise, the businessman, a strong-willed man, a good organizer, professional? He used to take important decisions to ensure the prosperity and security of the family, and even with some of the routine clinical activities will cope?

Make no mistake. I'm no psychologist, and cannot well explain, but this category of strong-willed men, good organizers and professionals, it is highly risky from the point of view of maladjustment to their own disease. May be because they are not used and can not match. Maybe because it was used for the separation of powers and delegation of health care to their wives, maybe all together.

And Yes, they also need a man who will be with them as with children, to hold hands at the doctors, led to survey, reassure, and listen, listen, listen to what the doctors say, is to focus in what is happening, read the Internet and additional literature. The one who will take the responsibility. At least for the first time.

You all just believe me, you will. published

Author: Igor Sinelnikov

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: dr-jamais.livejournal.com/246364.html