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A good ENOUGH dad
I'm just now with a third child on the example of my husband to comprehend this definition, therefore, still unable to confidently share their experience. Although some thought on this I have.
But I do share the opinion of an experienced father of 8 children of Dr. William Sears. He writes for the ideal of the fathers (they don't exist), but it gives men the chance to feel like a good father. Confident but not arrogant. Strong, but not cruel. Competent, yet sensitive and attentive.
Only for fathers
Fathers may be even more difficult than mothers to change their way of life. As a support of the family nest, they should bear a double duty: to help to care for a newborn and take care of his mother. Many fathers do not like to Potter with tiny children or to look after neupane recovered after giving birth a woman, the hormonal changes in the body which can make it not very pleasant to communicate with.
The knowledge that occurs between a mother and child in the first weeks of his life, allows to understand the importance of the role of the father. In the first few weeks the mother perceives herself and the child as a whole, that feels the remoteness from it (going from euphoria to anxiety and depression). Sometimes it is sensitively tuned to wave your child, sometimes like does not feel it. As the mother and the baby many times a day to interact on a "signal — a review", gradually they become very sensitive to each other; the mother knows the child and he the mother. You will realize that it happened when the wife will start to exclaim: "I Finally know what he wants", or "I can understand it." The father creates an environment that allows you to strengthen that connection between mother and child. It is important that the father understood the nature of this community mother and child (he does not threaten it) and contribute to its preservation.
Keep the order.
Mess in the house acts on the nerves of the mother and child. For the first time after giving birth one unwashed plate annoyed my Martha, although she usually remained calm in the form of a shell with a whole mountain of dirty dishes. Assume housekeeping or employ somebody. Ugadyvaete all in the house weekly, estimate that need to do and do it. Every day you have to keep in mind is the word "order." Every day to see what needs to be done.
Learn to submit.
Stan, the professional tennis player, once asked me how he should help his wife care for his newborn child. I answered the jargon of tennis players: "Learn to serve". Most serve the child's mother drink. A nursing mother should eat and drink a lot. Serve Breakfast in bed. Your wife, of course, the night woke up, and you probably had the opportunity to sleep. Take a walk with your child to the wife was able in this time to take a bath. You feel a servant and a waiter? You have to be them.
Be sensitive.
Many young mothers don't like asking for help, maybe don't want to seem bad hostesses and mothers. Dads, be attentive to their wives. One mother admitted: "I had to hit my husband over the head before he realized that I am completely exhausted".
Protect the house from annoying visitors. Although the need to become hermits, no, communicate with other people only when you want it. You will have moments when you and your wife want to share his joy with friends. At other times crowds of well-wishers will seem tedious. When you want to be alone, put the phone next to your telephone and hang on the door "do Not disturb".
Take care of the children.
Other kids got used that mother belongs to them, so they may not like to share her with a newborn. If you can take a vacation for 1-2 weeks, take a large part of caring for older children. Go with them on platforms for games, use all possibilities to withdraw children from house then in family will be quiet. Remember that children cleaned after themselves, tell them that for mother very important that the house was in order. They're moms and dads. Time after birth is the period when small (and large) family from taking from mother should become giving.
Protect the wife from uninvited councils.
Love to the newborn and a great desire to be a good mother do your wife very susceptible to the opinions of others. She is worried that it is wrong doing something for a child. Protect the wife from benevolent, but Intrusive visitors, which may violate prevailing in the house harmony. Let's back the statements like: "you must Have a little milk" or "You spoil the child." Such statements cast doubt even self-confident mothers. If you feel that such advice kick your wife out of the rut, defend her actions. Put an end to it, even if the tips come from your mother.
Respect the feeling of motherhood.
Avoid big changes in your life in the period when a newborn at home. At this time you should not move to a new house or move to another job. If you can do all of this long before the birth of the child. Instinct home the nest is very strong at mother, the ruined nest oppresses her.
Divide child care.
Mothers do not have the exclusive right to the newborn. The role of fathers is very important. They become attached to the child and come into contact with him, contribute to the education and development of the child. He is no less and no more than a contribution of mother, it is just different. Children feel and appreciate this difference.
Show that you are a good father.
Pope, let me, as an experienced father who has passed many times through difficulties of a survival at first after the delivery, to share some secrets about behavior of young mothers.
As mother feels huge attachment to her child, she does not want to divide care of it with anyone. When the baby starts to cry, you direct to it, but your wife overtakes you in a sprint throw to the helpless child. Such behavior is typical for mothers. If by chance you win race, be ready to that your wife will appear nearby and will declare: "I'll calm him down, dear."
As the child usually shuts up faster in the hands of your wife, you gradually excluded from the role of a nanny. The result is that the father has no possibility to learn manner with the child, and the mother is in a situation, which she expresses with the words: "My kid so needs me that I unable to do something else."
She refuse to itself pleasure to take a bath, doing her hair and not even have time to shower because: "I can't trust anyone with my kid." These words signal that it will soon "burn out", is looming close postpartum depression.
Dad, you just have to show themselves as good nurses, then the wife will quietly transfer you the kid to receive so necessary respite.published
From the book of W. and M. Sears, "Your child from birth to 10 years"
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: svetlana-panina.livejournal.com/545250.html
But I do share the opinion of an experienced father of 8 children of Dr. William Sears. He writes for the ideal of the fathers (they don't exist), but it gives men the chance to feel like a good father. Confident but not arrogant. Strong, but not cruel. Competent, yet sensitive and attentive.
Only for fathers
Fathers may be even more difficult than mothers to change their way of life. As a support of the family nest, they should bear a double duty: to help to care for a newborn and take care of his mother. Many fathers do not like to Potter with tiny children or to look after neupane recovered after giving birth a woman, the hormonal changes in the body which can make it not very pleasant to communicate with.
The knowledge that occurs between a mother and child in the first weeks of his life, allows to understand the importance of the role of the father. In the first few weeks the mother perceives herself and the child as a whole, that feels the remoteness from it (going from euphoria to anxiety and depression). Sometimes it is sensitively tuned to wave your child, sometimes like does not feel it. As the mother and the baby many times a day to interact on a "signal — a review", gradually they become very sensitive to each other; the mother knows the child and he the mother. You will realize that it happened when the wife will start to exclaim: "I Finally know what he wants", or "I can understand it." The father creates an environment that allows you to strengthen that connection between mother and child. It is important that the father understood the nature of this community mother and child (he does not threaten it) and contribute to its preservation.
Keep the order.
Mess in the house acts on the nerves of the mother and child. For the first time after giving birth one unwashed plate annoyed my Martha, although she usually remained calm in the form of a shell with a whole mountain of dirty dishes. Assume housekeeping or employ somebody. Ugadyvaete all in the house weekly, estimate that need to do and do it. Every day you have to keep in mind is the word "order." Every day to see what needs to be done.
Learn to submit.
Stan, the professional tennis player, once asked me how he should help his wife care for his newborn child. I answered the jargon of tennis players: "Learn to serve". Most serve the child's mother drink. A nursing mother should eat and drink a lot. Serve Breakfast in bed. Your wife, of course, the night woke up, and you probably had the opportunity to sleep. Take a walk with your child to the wife was able in this time to take a bath. You feel a servant and a waiter? You have to be them.
Be sensitive.
Many young mothers don't like asking for help, maybe don't want to seem bad hostesses and mothers. Dads, be attentive to their wives. One mother admitted: "I had to hit my husband over the head before he realized that I am completely exhausted".
Protect the house from annoying visitors. Although the need to become hermits, no, communicate with other people only when you want it. You will have moments when you and your wife want to share his joy with friends. At other times crowds of well-wishers will seem tedious. When you want to be alone, put the phone next to your telephone and hang on the door "do Not disturb".
Take care of the children.
Other kids got used that mother belongs to them, so they may not like to share her with a newborn. If you can take a vacation for 1-2 weeks, take a large part of caring for older children. Go with them on platforms for games, use all possibilities to withdraw children from house then in family will be quiet. Remember that children cleaned after themselves, tell them that for mother very important that the house was in order. They're moms and dads. Time after birth is the period when small (and large) family from taking from mother should become giving.
Protect the wife from uninvited councils.
Love to the newborn and a great desire to be a good mother do your wife very susceptible to the opinions of others. She is worried that it is wrong doing something for a child. Protect the wife from benevolent, but Intrusive visitors, which may violate prevailing in the house harmony. Let's back the statements like: "you must Have a little milk" or "You spoil the child." Such statements cast doubt even self-confident mothers. If you feel that such advice kick your wife out of the rut, defend her actions. Put an end to it, even if the tips come from your mother.
Respect the feeling of motherhood.
Avoid big changes in your life in the period when a newborn at home. At this time you should not move to a new house or move to another job. If you can do all of this long before the birth of the child. Instinct home the nest is very strong at mother, the ruined nest oppresses her.
Divide child care.
Mothers do not have the exclusive right to the newborn. The role of fathers is very important. They become attached to the child and come into contact with him, contribute to the education and development of the child. He is no less and no more than a contribution of mother, it is just different. Children feel and appreciate this difference.
Show that you are a good father.
Pope, let me, as an experienced father who has passed many times through difficulties of a survival at first after the delivery, to share some secrets about behavior of young mothers.
As mother feels huge attachment to her child, she does not want to divide care of it with anyone. When the baby starts to cry, you direct to it, but your wife overtakes you in a sprint throw to the helpless child. Such behavior is typical for mothers. If by chance you win race, be ready to that your wife will appear nearby and will declare: "I'll calm him down, dear."
As the child usually shuts up faster in the hands of your wife, you gradually excluded from the role of a nanny. The result is that the father has no possibility to learn manner with the child, and the mother is in a situation, which she expresses with the words: "My kid so needs me that I unable to do something else."
She refuse to itself pleasure to take a bath, doing her hair and not even have time to shower because: "I can't trust anyone with my kid." These words signal that it will soon "burn out", is looming close postpartum depression.
Dad, you just have to show themselves as good nurses, then the wife will quietly transfer you the kid to receive so necessary respite.published
From the book of W. and M. Sears, "Your child from birth to 10 years"
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: svetlana-panina.livejournal.com/545250.html
