Andrey Metelsky: the consumer society is messed up in the first place we

In my opinion, consciously or not army of marketers, advertising specialists engaged in the purposeful destruction of the Belarusians as an ethnic group, based on spiritual values. Sellers are beneficial to you as possible thinking about high and how you can pay more attention to the advertising tinsel.We have entered the era of consumer society. For some countries, point of no return has already been passed. I long time lived in the European Union and said the one in the media took a massive advertisement for a certain brand of car for a few days every second car — this is new. Getting it from my neighbor, neighbor, neighbor, colleagues and friends. You think all at once the old machine has worn? Of course not.

Status, a sense of comfort, their efficiency, many have now associated with the possession of a certain set of things and not the spiritual component. There was a catastrophic substitution of concepts: a basic set of human values, healthy self-esteem are replaced with surrogates. When people ask themselves "What have I accomplished in life?"in my head begin to flash in the first place, cars, houses, "iPhones" and after, if lucky, a happy family, friends, success in work and education. And it should be exactly the opposite.

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Remember appliances and cars, which were produced twenty or thirty years ago. Their "life cycle" was designed for decades. Today, manufacturers almost do not hide that specifically create products that survive the warranty period and die. And immediately after that, welcome to shopping! They are even better, brighter, easier, how can we not be tempted.

No matter how you criticize annoying ads, subconsciously we "being". Coming to the store, buy things we absolutely don't need, replaceable mobile phones, trying to convince yourself that it's just necessary. We all remember more rabid Kagan, who spends time running from one store to another.

Twenty years ago a child went outside, took the stick in his hand, and it was enough to be enjoyed all day. Stick was a gun, a sword, a wheel of the aircraft, with a stick — Yes, anything! It developed imagination, and thus increased the level of intelligence. Today, the dream is not necessary. For your child or worse, will make, he does not need a second strain. The saddest thing is that it very quickly becomes a habit. Children, even in his fantasies now use imposed "branded" the worlds of Star wars, spongebob, Pokemon....

I urge you to take the children's toys. I just draw your attention to the fact that the consumer society is inevitably, intentionally, trying to earn as much as possible, takes on a creative function of a child, leaving him in the end, the time of maturation of these two the most "pokémon" and "Godzilla».

But the worst thing that unobtrusively offer services for the replacement of parental functions. It is necessary to read a bedtime story? Why waste time on it — use the audiobook. Saturday evening, your son needs attention? Give him the tablet with the toy and walk away. Fear that toys will make the child a zombie? Especially for this occasion, we came up with "educational" games, and now, in a low voice of conscience and the parental instinct, you have once again unable to keep aloof from the process of education.

Do I often ask "How can I get my child to read?"I always ask a counter question: "And mom and dad read? If not, you can't force them to do it."

My child plays computer games. But only when I was busy and he was to do nothing. If I'm free, the son himself admits that he's much more interesting to spend time with my dad: playing badminton, chess, to discuss your questions and concerns. We can't affect global progress, can't turn off the influence of the "consumer society". But we are quite powerless to influence the situation around. It would wish.

If you look, the consumer society is messed up in the first place us. To complain about their children, they say, they now know it may be meaningless. After the Soviet Union collapsed, we enthusiastically dived into the world of a wide array of gadgets, devices and belongings. Differently and could not be: existed for a long time the void had to be filled. The trouble is that we are carried away by the new rules of the game, mired in the junk, quickly got used to it. And that is looking at us, children copy a new model of behavior.

Today, the possession of one or another device — the easiest way for a child to rise to a higher level in the school hierarchy. Comes to awful things like suicide.

Why is this happening? Yes, because of the spiritual emptiness. When the child unconsciously realizes that he is nothing but a mobile phone, "pokemon" and my dad's jeep for the soul no, he is trying to assert itself, using the tools available.

At some point recedes into the background value of parents ' love, they are no longer such authorities as was before. There is a new value — group membership. A group of mostly passionate about gadgets and stuff. Triggered a herd instinct.

But there is an important caveat: when the child a normal relationship with their parents if they invest in it in addition to the money the soul and free time, such a revaluation is not happening, mom and dad will remain the authority, no school and the street, your son or daughter will not spoil.

I recommend to parents who come to me for advice, a few techniques that will help to resist the system:

  • Never compare your child with other children.
  • Praise him for what he has achieved today more than yesterday, help him to realize their own individuality, to feel the progress that happened when he worked really hard.
  • Locate the area where your child can be successful and help him to develop it.
  • Learn how to talk to children on equal terms, believe me, they are interested in your opinion and they are ready to discuss any, even the most intimate topics, if the conversation is not going to look like morality and the suppression on your part.

I am sure that the ban on the use of a computer, tablet, game consoles do not work. Of course, it is easier to pick up, to prohibit, restrict and convince yourself that such acts of aggression towards a loved one is the education. But it is only your weakness, reluctance to spend time and mental strength on the establishment of "bridges" that will be a real family. A healthy child will be the last to resist the pressure, you can only "break".

When his eldest son was 8 years old, I gave him a computer. Child three days out of it climbs. I can already hear the indignant cries of the mothers: "how are you allowed?"What else can you do? After all, this is HIS thing, he has the full right to dispose of it as you see fit. To be honest, during those three days there was a concern for his health. But at some point, the son had enough, he was "cut down". Waking up, he completely got rid of computer addiction — ate.

There is one "but". This system works only in the case, when parents deliberately give the responsibility to your child. You need a clear inner awareness that it's his life and he has the full right to dispose of as they see fit. If this is the kind of educational act, which still looked through the parental controls, nothing happens.

The responsibility for your life is the ability to foresee the consequences of their actions. That's what takes us to the consumer society, making every effort to stimulate impulsive actions, first and foremost, of course, shopping.

How to resist? Here's how: when a child is physically ready to do something, give him responsibility. For example, you can wash the dishes — so today wash it for yourself. And more this question you are not in control. Not washed it — eat dirty. This is your life — are entitled. Same with lessons, etc.

Let me tell you a secret: no education actually does not exist. The main function of parents is to show correct behavior. Without reading it themselves, not doing sports, not striving for new knowledge and achievements, we cannot demand it of the child. When dad comes home and complains for a long time what his boss monster, and then teaches his son to respect teachers, it too is unlikely to work. If you surrendered to the mercy of the consumer society, accepted it, now I do not have the right to force children to be stronger than you.published 


Author: Andrey Metelsky, coach, doctor, therapist.


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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