Julia simultaneously: is it always necessary to get compliance Bashny.Net

You recorded children in an English school, carry the sea and consider themselves good parents? But the most important thing in the upbringing of the child, as you talk to him.

 

Despite the fact that over the last 10-20 years around the world has changed, the problems of relations between children and parents remains the same. We still want children to obey us, want to live without conflicts and quarrels. At the same time, there is one significant change: parents were more likely to ask themselves the question, whether always it is necessary to achieve obedience.

 

Most of us want to raise children correctly. We begin to recognize that the child has the right to be as he is, he doesn't need to fit the standards. But how to do it? No matter how trivial, you first need to understand a child. And already the basis of understanding his personal needs, to build relationships.





Before you respond to another misconduct of a son or daughter, you need to understand what it stands for: fatigue, resentment, irritation, anger or joy?

For this child it is necessary:

• First, to listen.
• Secondly, to understand his emotions and explain them to him – because young people often simply can not put into words their experiences.
• And only after that you can continue to insist on his own or, on the contrary, in the moment, to abandon his intentions to "educate".

Understanding of the partner – the basis of friendly relationship, be it husband and wife or mother and child. And here the invaluable role of active listening techniques. For example, the kid says: "I don't want to go to bed!" Mom may begin to insist that the child be stubborn, in the end, the mother goes on to complain: "He doesn't listen to me!" And this is a conflict.

How to prevent confrontation? You do realize that for a small child to sleep – a longing. It should say "you Have a very interesting game, you don't want to bed, but it's time. Now we'll go bathe, I'll read to you or tell the tale." It's a sympathetic hearing. You tell your child that you understand his feelings and respect them. You are a scandal and not lost, because in the end were able to peacefully take him away and put.

The algorithm active or sympathetic hearing is applicable in any case for a partner of any age. In the case of a child relationship, you are responsible because you are older and more experienced. And if you chose this style of relationship, you have to work on ourselves. You need to learn to listen, to understand and accept their child or partner. If he refuses to run an errand, listen to yourself: it was a request or a demand?





Are you ready to consider the interests of others?

 

You are aware that his classes, his interests critical?

Raising a child is impossible without the work of the adult on yourself. When you apply the technique of active listening begins what I call the magic of artful communication: gradually changing the overall mood, become more friendly tone and General atmosphere in the family. Takes the tension you own example teach your child respect for another person, teach him to communicate.

Psychologists came to the conclusion that parenting style is written in the psyche of the child, and later adult life is often automatically reproduced. Most likely, your children will raise your grandchildren the way you raised them. And if you are not satisfied with something that disturbs the relationship with the child, it is a good reason to revise the parenting style in the family and to begin to correct the situation.





Also interesting: Unpopular about motivation. Why the child does not learn?

What is really necessary for our children?

 

5 things you can do for a child every day:

1. To maintain its success. Notice and praise all the achievements, discuss the details of the victories, admire the baby at every opportunity.

2. Please share your feelings. In detail tell about their experiences and emotions – both positive and negative.

3. Say friendly phrases, for example: "I feel good with you. I'm glad to see you. Good that you came."

4. Hug at least 4, better 8 times a day. Good idea to do the same to and in relation to adult family members.

5. Do not interfere in his classes, if he asks. Even if you know how to do better, do not rush with the advice and assistance. published

 

From the book of Julia Gippenreiter "to Communicate with the child. How?"

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: zdr.ru/articles/julija-gippenreiter