My first and only child for almost two years. During this period of time I, like all moms, I heard a lot of tactless and irritating questions, advice, suggestions and even guidance. Seven of them have become my most frequent and infuriating, although I admit, many years ago, I myself could utter such words.
Now I know that was wrong, and I want to share this useful knowledge with you. You may not think about the fact that the woman committed no need to say the following:
1. Now we have to give birth to a second (third, fourth, paste).
Believe me, every mother able to understand when giving birth to her next child. I would never want to go through with it, and tips and valuable guidance on what should be the age difference, to ease her life, just leave yourself. The same applies to reviews of the series "where you still have one to give birth" or "well, you two don't have to." This is absolutely not the question which should decide you for any other woman, even if she is your girlfriend or sister. It's just none of your business. 2. The child needs to breast-feed.
There are a huge number of options: feed up to one year, and then urgently to stop breastfeeding, questions about why the child is eating the mixture and not breast milk, why you feed so little or so much and 1001 question from "experts" in the field of child nutrition. Every mom has their own reasons to feed her baby for a long time or not fed at all, the issue needs no review from others if the woman herself does not ask of the Council. Support or walk past, remember this principle and often use it when you want to give advice on feeding someone else's child.3. The child should sleep separately.
When the family found out that my son and I practiced co-sleeping, I had to listen to a series of lectures about the dangers of joint sleep and its dangers. The most popular phrase I hear: "So be it with you to the army to sleep." I am grateful to the friends for your concern, but why the hell should I be interested in someone else's opinion on such a question as a dream? It is convenient for me, when the kid snorts at hand, I love to sleep well, in our case, this is achieved only through the joint dream. I understand those moms who sleep with children in different rooms. We all do what we think is right or comfortable for ourselves and our children. It is our choice, and he doesn't need approval.4. He is still too young for kindergarten
(it's time to go to kindergarten here). When my son turned a year and a half, I went to work where I was often asked who I left my baby, shook his head, sighed, and added that he is still very young, he needs his mom. Wait, first, my mother had been, and still is, I'm nowhere on it does not go away. And secondly, I have the right to choose to fully educate the child or to build a career, earning money in the family budget, and this does not mean that I put his son in the lurch.
Many moms due to the financial situation you have to go to work, they worried and worried for their children, it is not necessary to go into the soul without soap with questions about why she went to work. If the mother decides to raise children without kindergarten and school, she also did not have to hear your comments about socialization and school life, believe me, she will understand what is best for her children.
5. You need to lose weight, get in shape.
Modern standards of beauty dictate how to look like a new mother, namely as if she never gave birth. Slim toned body, no scars from previous cesarean section and even more stretch marks. As soon as we come in after childbirth, as immediately begin to think about how to return to Dobermann form.
While society ignores the fact that pregnancy and childbirth are a serious challenge for the female body and for someone it does not go unnoticed, but this does not mean that we should be ashamed of himself. Each stretch reminds me of what I really was strong, this unique history of my life and the life of my child. Don't tell women how to look about it and so we shout from the pages of magazines, TV screens and on the Internet.6. But my sister's daughter is at that age...
(spoke, wrote poems, novels, thoughts read). I do not wonder to hear another story about what could the other children when they were the same as mine. All children develop differently, everybody has their own pace, temperament, their interests and character. No two people are alike, this also applies to small children. Do not compare them, don't try to fit all under a single template. And especially it is not necessary to tell a woman that her child is behind another friend get through the fifth knee baby. Just notice that already knows the child, support the mother — she will appreciate, even if not served.7. Why give the child a name?
In today's world there are a huge number of names for any taste, so the old Russian or exotic foreign names is no surprise. So why do some people still can show your eyes and it is with a sorrowful look ask, why call a child as "strange" name? For some strange rare names, for others, on the contrary, common and popular. Nobody can not think that parents, it appears, are able to make a choice without outside advice.
Read also: the Secrets of French moms 10 things not to say good grandmother
Communicating with their relatives or unfamiliar moms, discard the unsolicited advice of any nature, judgment and comments concerning the educational process. Better offer your help and support, which sometimes do not have enough women with children.published
Author: Eugenia Polyanska
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©