Art to say "no", or 5 of the rules of polite refusal

refuses to say "no" and even just to shake his head in negation sign for many - a daunting task. Someone not prepared for the reaction of others to whom it seems that between the words "no" and "impolite" can put an equal sign. Some easier to take on someone else's care, than to explain the reasons for refusal.

We are in the Website have decided to look into this sensitive issue, and together with you to learn how to firmly but politely refuse.

Before shtudirovanie rules need to once and for all to understand the most important thing: the word "no" does not make anyone callous friend, a bad neighbor, a relative or a heartless selfish lover .
The best way to stop being afraid of this short word -. < regular training before the mirror That it is recommended to all psychologists in the case when you need to change their attitude to a particular problem. Say aloud the word "no." Speak firmly and confidently, without flattery and inner trembling. Continue until the word is no longer deliver discomfort.

Without regular "no" you run the risk of working seven days a week, to help a friend buy a TV on his birthday and instead of the planned trip to the cinema to walk a neighbor's hamster. In addition, inside you will inevitably accumulate dissatisfaction with others and a sense of duty to the true desires of his own "I».

These 5 simple rules will make your life much easier.

Rule one: stop making excuses for his "no» h3> Denying the opponent, it makes no sense to say words kilometers acquittals. Long explanations will look as if you are not sure of the correctness of its decision or, even worse, you're lying to justify the reluctance to support. To tell the truth is unlikely to offend asking. < «I have other plans for the day» -. understandable terms for all earthlings You should nothing to anybody, you can be more important case. Normal friend, relative or neighbor understands it.

The second rule: be firm h3> Your "no" should sound just as negation. It should be firm, irrevocable and clear interlocutor. Otherwise failure may be perceived as a flirtation, which will break the persistent bargaining. The lower the hardness you invest in your failure, the more effort will have to spend asking for the persuasions. As a result, the two of you will remain an unpleasant aftertaste.

The third rule: you can not help, show part h3> If you for one reason or another can not help, you become a part of. For example, advise people to whom appropriate address, or offer partial assistance that think for themselves feasible. Alternatively, mark the day when you will have the opportunity and time to help. This manifestation of participation shows that you are not just eliminated from the question, and sincerely try to do everything in your power.

Rule Four: show respect h3> It is not necessary to hear the beginning of the request, immediately rush to defend the borders of their personal space. Even if one hundred times already asked the impossible, control yourself and stay calm. No need to beat his chest and throw phrases: "You kept me something to ask," "I Only two days ago, drove your cat to a meeting with her grandmother," "You're always looking for someone to cross the problem." Such charges only lead to conflict, decide which is most likely to be much more difficult than to show respect to the request.

Rule Five: Do not forget that the word "yes" there h3> And yet it exists! Do not forever banish the word "yes" from his articles. You deny the request is not in order to show an iron will or checking firmness of spirit. You just targeting on its own plans and desires. If there is no urgent cases, you help a friend or acquaintance is nice and even honorable. To help you need when you can do and want to do it.



The word "no" can work wonders. < Only learn to give up, you can be yourself. You will no longer feel guilty for something that can not help everyone. You stop being angry at the asylum, because of their constant references you do not have enough time for themselves. You will not consider himself a spineless and scold his spinelessness. You will learn to appreciate and respect their time and desire. And most importantly, your desires will match what you are doing.



According to the materials: psychologies.ru, ria.ru
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