From the press in Africa. (Ugar on African)

Cape Times, Cape Town
"I promise not to be named," - said Maxim Jackie,
Sandton Hotel San representative (Johannesburg), - "but
I confirm that the more he does not work in. We instructed him to wash
elevators, and this work took him four days. Asked why it
It took so much time, he said, `Because of the forty pieces - two on
each floor, and besides they do not all always meste`. I had him
part, now it is, like, working in GE Lighting ».



The Star, Johannesburg
"The situation is fully under control," - said the Minister of Transport
Swaziland Ephraim Magagula at a meeting of parliament in Mbabane, -
"Commercial Fleet of our country in good order and security. We just
do not know where he is, that's all. " Responding to questions from members of parliament,
Magagula admitted that not a landlocked country has lost traces
its only ship, Swazimar. "We believe that he is somewhere in
sea. We even once sent an expedition in search of, but because of the problems,
associated with drunkenness, the ship was not found. So, strictly speaking, we
really a bit lost it. But I categorically reject all
arguments about the incompetence of the government. Swazimar - large
ship, painted in beautiful bright colors, you can even see
night. Mark my words, he is there. »



The Standard (Kenya)
"Because of what all the fuss?" - Asked Veseka Sambu a hastily convened
press conference at the international airport named after Jomo Kenyatta, -
"These technical problems can occur anywhere in the world. You do not
patriots. You just like to make trouble. " Samba, a spokesman
Airlines Kenya Airways, was speaking after the canceled flight from Kisumu via
Jomo Kenyatta to Berlin: "Forty-two passengers took their seats on the plane,
ready to take off, but the pilot noticed that one of the wheels later. By
Unfortunately, the nitrogen tank at the airport was empty. Passengers are offered
remove the wheel and take it to the petrol station, where the pump,
but unfortunately, the jack had disappeared, and we could not remove the wheel.
Our engineers tried heroically inflated tire using
bicycle pump, but to no avail. The pilot even tried to fool the camera
mouth, but he lost consciousness. When I announced that the flight had to be canceled,
one of the passengers, Mr Mutu hit me in the face from the whistle
lifejacket and said we - national disgrace. I said
him that his behavior is ludicrous, and in two weeks there will be another
the flight as long as he has the opportunity to enjoy the scenery around
Kisumu, albeit at their own expense ».



From the Zimbabwean newspaper.
The bus driver transporting patients from psychiatric hospitals
Harare to Bulawayo, the bus stopped at a roadside Shibin to drink
a couple of beers. When he returned to the bus, he found it empty, and
Twenty patients were lost without a trace. Realizing that it is threatened by serious
trouble, the driver went to the nearest bus stop, where
He scored twenty passengers from the queue. Then he closed the door and
I went straight to the Bulawayo mental hospital, where he quickly handed
'Patients' personnel, warning that some of them - especially
violent. Suspicions arose from personnel only three days - because
matches all twenty stories. With regard to these patients, the
no one else did not hear about them - apparently, they have successfully returned
back into Zimbabwean society.