Excerpts from various instructions

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF THE HAMMER:

& Quot; ... before the arrival of the doctor put a finger in cold water ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF CIRCULAR SAWS:

& Quot; ... before the arrival of the doctor put his fingers in the ice pack ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF IRON:

& Quot; ... if the customer continues to persist, turn the knob to the "wool» ... & quot;

Instructions for the use of condoms:

& Quot; ... ask your partner to keep silent ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF Mobiles:

& Quot; ... ask your partner to keep silent ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF WASHING MACHINE:

& Quot; ... a kitten should be thoroughly dried ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF THE ROCKER ARMS:

& Quot; ... if the beam bends, make sure that you are not near a curling Ivanka ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF DRILLS:

& Quot; ... when talking to neighbors recommended restraint and correctness ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF SEWING MACHINES:

& Quot; ... nepedagogichno. Enough to put the baby in a corner ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF TELEVISION:

& Quot; ... a novelty: now after switching off the TV rather than a dark screen saver appears - Photo Yevgeny Petrosyan and his wife ... & quot;

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF THE DISHWASHER:

& Quot; ... the phrase "And why the hell I bought the coffin" can not be regarded as an application for a refund ... & quot;

Instructions for the use of the toothbrush:

"Problem: stranger knocking when brushing your teeth
Solution: Turn the brush »

Of the instructions to the Japanese chopsticks:

& Quot; ... ask the waiter for a fork ... & quot;

© Viktor Aduev

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