Army for grandparents

Filed letters from readers of the newspaper "Daily Mail", November 5, 2010

Dad's Army? Better grandfather!

I'm over sixty, and the Armed Forces consider me too old to fight terrorists. It turns out, you will not get to serve in the army, if you are over 42.

These orders must be changed! Instead of sending in a fight 18-year-old boys, should mobilize us, old fart. But the army did not take anyone under the age of 35. Here's why.

Researchers say the 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. And the old men think about sex a few times a day.

Young guys are still too few have lived in this world, to become embittered, and yet it is the evil men are dangerous. We, the elderly, already irritable, and perhaps, if you give us kill many idiots out there who definitely deserve, we will feel better and shut up for a while.

Next - the 18-year-olds do not like to wake up before 10 am. The old man always get up early to pee.

And if we captured, we will not issue any secrets. Because just forget where we put them. In fact, even to give his name, rank and serial number, we have pretty smash his head.

Military training for us, too, will be less of a problem than for the young. We are already accustomed to that we all scream, and there we can just only porridge and liquid food.

In fairness, they are better able to cope with our obstacle course. But I was in a fight, and believe me it did not come across a 20-foot wall with a rope to climb up. And just as I did not have to do any push-ups ever since I graduated. Yes, and crosses, in essence, is also a waste of energy. I've never met people who are able to outrun a bullet.

Well, in addition, the 18-year-old boy is still ahead of all life and the world. He is still learning how to shave, not to cut, and how to talk to a pretty girl. He had not even realized that the visor caps need to protect your eyes from the sun, not the back of the head ...

So everything is good reason to keep our boys home and let them know something more about this life before you send them in a dangerous way.

Give us, the elderly, war with these filthy, dirty and cowardly terrorists! Last, they would like to see our enemies - a few millions of angry, ready for anything old fart with guns in their hands, knowing that their best years are long gone.

Yet one would think about the mobilization of women older than 50 years included in the period of menopause. You think it's a man willing to do anything? The old lady will abruptly us - put them to guard the border, and security will be ensured at the time!

Thomas Sanford, Poole, Dorset.

via gallika





Source:

Tags

See also

New and interesting