Russian Darwin Awards

November, 2011. Krasnoarmeysk, Russia
Father and son made their living by selling scrap non-ferrous and other metals. They wandered around the neighborhood and picked up everything the old wire, aluminum cans and other trash. One day, fate has thrown them into an abandoned zavod.- No shit myself - enthusiastically exclaimed Papa, featuring 30-year-old offspring on metal pillars that propped up the ceiling. - Yes, there is a metal to a few thousand, you need to cut!
The men got down to business. When the post sawed, he collapsed with concrete ceiling, lost their bearings. The father managed to rebound, but the son was not so lucky - it literally sealed to the floor.

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May, 2011. The Amur Region
Once the Internet 35-year-old found the omen of Blagoveshchensk, which stated that if one day hold under the ground, the rest of his life he would be inexpressibly carry.
This idea of ​​a young bachelor raved for several months. It is downright pulled his friend bury bury yes. He finally gave up, but just in case his friend forced to write a note, saying, I am making all the eccentricities of their own accord.
Last Saturday, our Extreme on the land buddy in the vicinity of Blagoveshchensk, dug his own hole, overlaid with her wooden boxes and settled for the night. A friend asked me to cover it neatly on top of the shield and chipboard covered with soil to twenty centimeters. And not to suffocate a man of the tubes had a Breather. Amateur extreme precaution brought with him into the ground blanket to side without giving and keep warm, well and a cell phone. Only here the phone on the night of disabled, fearing that the battery is discharged in the morning. We agreed to shortstop that utrechkom phoned.
Plans for a long and happy life violated the rain that broke out during the night. Now the investigation establishes Extreme why not call a friend before the disaster struck. Whether a man fell asleep soundly, whether the phone is dead ahead, or the raging elements flooded the phone and stopped the air flow under the ground, and he choked ...
On Sunday morning, buddy extreme, do not call him, he came to his land, became dig box. In light pulled the lifeless body.

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April, 2011. Borshchagovka, Ukraine
Group of boys 22-25 years, went to the high-speed tram. To pass the track some of them spit out the window and saw how to get the rear passengers. That's only managed to get there is not always. Then one of duraleya asked him to hold his legs while he leaned out of the window, make a sighting of slyunometanie rear wagon.
Man grabbed by the legs and poked out the window as far as possible. Naturally, he looked back, so the support of contact network ahead noticed ...
Fools hit on the back of the head, first one pole and then the other ... All about the car and the pillars in the brain (or that they are replaced), the delay on the line - for about three hours. As the locals say, the distance between the tram windows and pillars near the meter, so you need to try hard to reach them - our heroes were able to ...

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CAR HUGE, and the mind - small!
Truck drivers to find a fuel leak from the fuel tank, did not contact the professionals at the service station. Instead, he drove to the nearest garage and finding a local welder, asked him to solve the problem. Welder agreed. Armed with a welder, he walked over to the truck and started to work, without bothering to check the availability of fuel in the tank. The driver seems to be that too little care. The result was not long in coming - dalnoboyschikka explosion literally ripped apart and welder, though seriously injured, but survived.

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March, 2011. The Amur Region
47-year-old resident of the village Zharikova the autumn of 2010 found in the woods a mortar shell. Donating dangerous discovery did not, and suddenly come in handy on the farm. All those months spent shell quietly at a villager in the barn, quietly rusting.
In early March, fool decided to clean the shell of rust ... on a lathe. A few seconds later there was an explosion. Peasants were lucky - the explosion he "only" amputate fingers.

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February, 2011. Irkutsk region
Another handyman showed up in the Irkutsk region. 27-year-old contractor working repair and construction company decided to make the shell of the high-explosive action ... trolling fishing. Indeed, as of yet what fishing gear to do except from live ammunition?
The guy brought ammunition caliber 23 mm shed cellulose plant of a company in Bratsk and began to saw the projectile. The explosion tore off his hand, and riddled with shrapnel chest and shoulder. Survived.

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November, 2010. The Amur Region
And again among the nominees conscripts. He, like other servicemen were sent to the Ministry of Defense ammunition storage facility - where they had to prepare for the destruction of obsolete munitions.
Our hero found a hand-held antitank grenade launcher RPG-26. Prior to that he had seen such things only in the movies, so I decided not to miss the event and turned up to take a picture with him as a souvenir. So what, he was charged - so even steeper!
Coming out of the store, fool raised rear sight grenade launcher than led him into firing position, and at the time of photographing accidentally pressed the shutter button. There was a shot, which led to the detonation of munitions are in stock. Idiot survived, but fotochki cost the state in the two and a half million rubles.

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September, 2010. Sverdlovsk region
In Russia, as we know, two misfortunes - fools and roads. And everything is nothing, if not the first trouble was drawn irresistibly to the second disaster.
Two idiot twenty years of age decided to ride with the wind in his "five". Behind the wheel - too banal, so it was decided to take a ride on the hood .... He climbed on the hood of Fools faced an unexpected problem: who, in fact, will drive the car? Available were two girls - one just knocked 14, the other - 18. minnows driving experience was zero, but at the second - more than enough, but the experience of riding a bike ....
- Who cares - decided idiots. - Can a bike, then you can and in the car.
Said - done, the more the girl really wanted to learn to drive. Behind the wheel, trying especially not to twist them while driving, lady drove to the nearest intersection, which successfully ran in the Chinese truck, riding on the main road (do not forget that the appearance she was almost zero because of the two blockheads, sitting in an embrace on the hood).
Fools are lucky, so driving lesson in a rural ended with a closed head injuries, bruises and abrasions. Doctors also noted a concussion, but we doubt - how can you get a concussion what is not?
Oh yeah, we were absolutely sober Fools ...

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Blondes continue to light.
At this time, distinguished 22-year-old native of Tyumen. The fact that she was blonde, arrived doctors guessed at surviving on the top strand of hair.
She decided to treat his family homemade pizza. Roll the pancake dough, generously sprinkled him with all the necessary ingredients and decided to light the oven. Yes, that's nepruha - flames in the oven stubbornly did not want to light up.
"Maybe there is no gas?" - Thinking lass. And how do you know for sure? That's right - stick your head in the oven and smell!
Standing on all fours, blonde put her head in the oven and smelled the gas is, and how. But the question of the lack of fire remained open, as well as the gas valve. And then she continued to stand in this position already tried conventional igniter to light the oven again. The result exceeded all her expectations - had a lot of fire, but the pizza that night the family did not wait. Blonde saved.

April, 2010. Sverdlovsk region.
26-year-old fool of a small provincial town lived in a two-room apartment with his grandmother. While the old woman in the next room watching TV series, our idiot toiled boredom.
Suddenly, his eyes caught the balloon. The problem was solved with boredom - the boy decided to run the ball from the balcony. One problem - the helium duraleya have not been, and how else to get the ball take off, if desired gas is not at hand? That's right, take advantage of the gas that is in the apartment.
Taking off from a gas stove burner, idiot balloon filled with natural gas, and carried him to the balcony. Run. I do not know what he did 26-year-old idiot in school, but is clearly not physics. Even pyatiklashki aware that rubber ball in contact with synthetic fabrics gives the spark. Of course, the ball in the hands of duraleya exploded. The explosion was so powerful that it knocked out windows in the apartment. The old woman escaped with only a fright, and the hero - burned face and abdomen.

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The fence of the "Castle».
Our hero has found not one, but two of the projectile from the installation "Grad" - in 2001 here in the Trans-Baikal region, an ammunition dump exploded, and a large number of shells were scattered throughout the county. The length of each rocket - about two meters.
"Do not disappear as good!" - Thought the ensign of the local military unit and decided to adapt them ... to repair the fence.
Shells dug into the ground, he tried to fool our shells welded to the angle iron. Shells of course rushed. Luckily, our hero has survived, escaped with only the amputation of the right hand.

Shells in the field rumbled ...
April, 2010. Riga, Latvia. Two duraleya staggered on military training ground, found the shell of a grenade launcher. History does anyone of the two came up with the crazy idea to open the shell using chisels. Shell projectile succumbed after two or three strokes, and he, as befits the shells exploded. One of duraleya died on the spot, the second turned into a kind of crossing the disk of the grinder, but survived.
He was placed in intensive care for two Tsvetmet clerk, who also rushed to the eve of receiving the projectile point. However, the mortar.

Fireworks for an idiot.
May 2010. Primorsky Krai. Another idiot paid for his impenetrable stupidity appeared in Primorye.
30-year-old did not work and the collection of non-ferrous metal hunted. Once he was "lucky" - he found a badly damaged by rust shell. At the point of delivery of scrap fool to pass the projectile did not, and decided to reserve for an opportunity.
A suitable event occurred May 9th. Noting with a friend over a bottle of the 65th anniversary of the victory of our idiot cast down - what is a celebration without fireworks? And then the guy remembered hid projectile.
- Now, I'll arrange fireworks! - He said to his friend.
The guy threw up on waste ground fire and threw a projectile. But the fire went out, and without provoking a single volley of thrown into a shell. Our fool went to the fire to re-ignite it, and then an explosion.
Shell fragments struck idiot injuries incompatible with life.

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April, 2010. Belarus.
60-year-old pensioner from Russia arrived in Gomel, to visit the grave of a relative. When they reached the cemetery, she found a familiar ogradku and was about to go inside, it turned out that during the winter rusted fences and open so did not want to.
Auntie clearly overestimated its capabilities and underestimated the curvy shape and the solid weight. She decided to climb over the half-meter fence. She was not embarrassed sharp tips that sticking around the perimeter of the metal fence.
The result - ran into two pins. Rescuers arrived had to cut part of the fence - with the fence fool loaded into an ambulance and taken to a nearby hospital. Fortunately, doctors wait too long.
January, 2007. Samara region.
Another Russian fool returning home from a Christmas tree early in the morning on January 1st. Naturally, drunk. I decided to cut off the road to the house and pass through the territory of the district police department. But in his way was the barrier - a high fence of metal bars with pointed tapered tips. Drunken reckless, to say nothing about a fence. I decided to climb, but caught sheepskin coat. Pobarahtatsya bit in an attempt to escape, the man ... fell asleep. Under the weight of his own body "nashampurilsya" on the sharp peaks of the fence.
He discovered early in the morning and caused passers-by physicians. Fortunately, duraleya rescued, but his leg had to be amputated.

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Tooth stupidity.
In 40-year-old man toothache. What is a toothache - they know everything, but who does not know - what a fabulously lucky. The tactics of the time-tested: analginum (ketorol) does not pass - the clinic. Alternatively: analginum still analginum, flux - the clinic. Our hero decided to leave the knurled track. Subtracted "popular recipe" mouth rinse with vinegar. I forgot that any prescription must be read carefully and in detail, but not diagonally. Instead of apple or grape vinegar took a 70% -ing essence. When it started to burn in the mouth involuntarily swallowed ... From the listing of nominees Darwin next "evil Pinocchio" saved "first aid" and hospital surgeons.

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Conscripts inexplicably went AWOL. History is silent on how the wind has brought him to the rail yard, but there our hero came across a military patrol. He decided to escape from the pursuit of beautiful, à la Robert De Niro - not under the cars, and on top. At that moment, when he climbed to the roof, the driver touched a part of the place. Cars twitched, and "Superman" in order not to break grabbed the first thing that came to hand.
"The first thing that caught" was the contact wire. The discharge was so strong that even melted nails in his boots ...

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Alchemist.
December, 2007. Yekaterinburg. 18-year-old freshman with a classmate Urals argued that cyanide will remain alive. No sooner had they blink like a fool licked the palm of white powder and thrashed in agony.
Deadly poisons interested kid from school. Poison mushrooms, arsenic, cyanide - the boy was sure that with their help create a recipe for eternal youth and a deadly poison that will help him find the key to immortality. He started with the use of poison in small amounts, gradually increasing the dose until one youthful bravado did not take precedence over common sense.
- I bet I'll take cyanide and die? - He offered to his friends. - I've been drinking poison, and now my body does not kill.
The guys did not believe a friend and then forgot about the ridiculous argument. The next day, during a lecture the boy called his comrades and showed them a hand to her mound of white material with a smile and licked the powder with the hands.
A few minutes later fool fell into a coma, and the arrival of the doctors was no longer breathing.
This story was nominated for Darwin in 2007.

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Ensign headless.
In one of the Russian military units have organized small-scale production - stamping of plastic parts for protivogaznyh boxes and other army equipment. Stamped on special injection molding machine, is a horizontal press with molds and ejectors.
The principle of operation of the machine is quite simple. Efforts in 4000 tons press closes the first mold and to inject molten plastic. After a while, you need to pour, the press opens the mold and using the ejector ejects the product in the tray for the finished product. Naturally, this machine provides foolproof - the press is closed glass cover, which rests on the trailer. Without cap press just do not run.
Once the mold is jammed ejectors. Conscripts who worked in the media, called the Ensign. He scratched his long tykovku thinking, how to test the ejector? And come up with! He took off his glass, gave something trailer lock, slipped into the slot of the mold head and a soldier said:
- You turn, and I'll see how to work.
Orders are not discussed: said plug - so come on. The press, too - not the head of the ensign: included - load. Tripped ejectors, Ensign was unable to tell - there was nothing.

Deep hair removal.
Located in a state of mild intoxication 16-year-old gentleman of 15-year-old girlfriend to get rid of the pain and rubbed her warm waist and below the loins of 95 percent ethyl alcohol. One hand rubbed, and the other - smoking.
Flashed. He rubbed his hands burn, it - burn the waist, buttocks, inner thighs, pubic area. Its synthetic panties melted and stuck to the pubis. In the operating room and anesthesia girl ripped adhered, in the course of producing a deep epilation.

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A resident of the little village Malakhovka cut off his head with the help of a homemade guillotine.


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