568
Revelation stewardess
I work as flight attendant in one of the leading airlines. I do not zadolbala my job - I was zadolbali you, "Dear passengers."
Please do not stop when boarding at the entrance and ask very intelligent and necessary questions.
I do not know, we could reach or not, I'm not a psychic.
Yes, "Boeing". Yes, experienced pilots. And sober. Always. The most experienced and most sober fly right now.
No, you can not sit wherever you want. Places should take according to your boarding pass, because we have a full load.
Woman, I do not know where you put your trunk two by two meters, which in some horseradish prёte you to the salon instead put into the luggage. No, "somewhere in there you have" put not work: there is simply no place.
A man like this to you surprisingly, no fridge in the plane, so I can not imagine where you put the fish smoked. In the luggage, by the way, differently colder. All right, let stinks the whole plane. The remaining passengers are required to penetrate only hardly envy.
Man, what are you shouting at me? You're not my money on registration surcharge, so you planted where legs can be pulled. So why is my fault that you do not have those places?
And what are you yelling? The backs do not recline? During the evacuation recline will prevent passage to the hatches. I'm out here with it, you have got to these places? But you can pull the legs.
Okay, have soared. Apple juice, tomato, orange. No, pomegranate not. And peach. Honestly. Even for money. Pineapple either. I swear. Of course, fresh juice. Together with the pilots on takeoff him personally squeeze in bundles from the purchased.
Meat with pasta, chicken with rice, fish and chips. No, a woman, I can not make the meat with rice. I am not guilty, that is closer to the tail of the fish remained. This is not a restaurant. You do not have to shout at me. Oh, you uplocheno for everything and everything is included? Come on, my dear friend from a provincial town, I'll tell you something. The plane - a public transport. And "all inclusive" you begin strictly when you're in your hotel room at the toes are not running shoes and put on slates, and the ass instead of boxers in cucumbers - that sincerely believes melting. And not a minute before.
Tea coffee? No, woman, green tea is not. I agree lawlessness. Of course, boiled coffee. Once we dovyzhimaem juice, coffee immediately begin to boil in the bucket for two hundred people. Yes, milk fresh. How fresh? Do not worry, the morning milking. Ate, drank? Thank God ...
No, man, you can not smoke. Nowhere. Even for money. Even for 500 rubles. Even in our break room. If you show me our room of rest, I, together with you with pleasure smoke.
Yes, work is like. I am not afraid to fly. Emergency cases were not. No, sex is not involved in the flight. Even with the pilots. And with no wires involved. And with passengers. And with the porters, and the technicians and supervisors to have sex, I was not involved in the flight. God, give me strength ...
And the smoke is still impossible, because the plane is completely burnt out in two minutes, and to decrease emergency, it is necessary to at least twenty, and if there is a where. You catch? I do not know you, but I like my life the way memory.
And you? Well you just did not ask for water when did your neighbor, and when I brought him to you "remember" what you want to drink, too? You think, I am pleased to run back and forth a few times? Oh, it's my job, I pay money for it ... Come and I'll open secret: the money I paid for ensuring your safety - and only. That is in my job description is written that I am obliged to save you in an emergency and try to pump out if you suddenly become ill. What I raznoshu food and water, that is to say, an act of good will. So lift up your ass for the first time in four hours of flight, and go for water - at least razomnёshsya. We have, for your information, not even sat down once.
No, a woman, your parachute is not stolen. And not drunk. It was not originally. Honestly. In flight, the door is still open is impossible, but on the ground you and jump with him nowhere. No, we also do not have parachutes. Honestly. And pilots, too. I swear on the Air Code.
Finally we sat down. Please do not get up and open the luggage racks, as soon as the plane touched the ground. You are not in the Soviet Union, it is not necessary to create a queue in the aisle. The aircraft taxiing for another. If he will rise sharply, you find yourself, as well as the stay is not what you get out of the plane face with broken teeth and broken arms.
"Dear passengers," you have fun, you relax flying. Just keep in mind that you will come out, but we still have to fly back. Passengers will be new and fresh, but we - not very.
You know the dream of flight attendants? Watched the movie "The Fifth Element"? That on takeoff flight attendant pressed a button, and all the passengers fall asleep abruptly, and woke up only when the landing, after turning off the light panel "Fasten seat."
Well, they all went out? New Download. And again: "And we could reach? And what plane? A sober pilots? And where then you can put the trunk? .. "
Please do not stop when boarding at the entrance and ask very intelligent and necessary questions.
I do not know, we could reach or not, I'm not a psychic.
Yes, "Boeing". Yes, experienced pilots. And sober. Always. The most experienced and most sober fly right now.
No, you can not sit wherever you want. Places should take according to your boarding pass, because we have a full load.
Woman, I do not know where you put your trunk two by two meters, which in some horseradish prёte you to the salon instead put into the luggage. No, "somewhere in there you have" put not work: there is simply no place.
A man like this to you surprisingly, no fridge in the plane, so I can not imagine where you put the fish smoked. In the luggage, by the way, differently colder. All right, let stinks the whole plane. The remaining passengers are required to penetrate only hardly envy.
Man, what are you shouting at me? You're not my money on registration surcharge, so you planted where legs can be pulled. So why is my fault that you do not have those places?
And what are you yelling? The backs do not recline? During the evacuation recline will prevent passage to the hatches. I'm out here with it, you have got to these places? But you can pull the legs.
Okay, have soared. Apple juice, tomato, orange. No, pomegranate not. And peach. Honestly. Even for money. Pineapple either. I swear. Of course, fresh juice. Together with the pilots on takeoff him personally squeeze in bundles from the purchased.
Meat with pasta, chicken with rice, fish and chips. No, a woman, I can not make the meat with rice. I am not guilty, that is closer to the tail of the fish remained. This is not a restaurant. You do not have to shout at me. Oh, you uplocheno for everything and everything is included? Come on, my dear friend from a provincial town, I'll tell you something. The plane - a public transport. And "all inclusive" you begin strictly when you're in your hotel room at the toes are not running shoes and put on slates, and the ass instead of boxers in cucumbers - that sincerely believes melting. And not a minute before.
Tea coffee? No, woman, green tea is not. I agree lawlessness. Of course, boiled coffee. Once we dovyzhimaem juice, coffee immediately begin to boil in the bucket for two hundred people. Yes, milk fresh. How fresh? Do not worry, the morning milking. Ate, drank? Thank God ...
No, man, you can not smoke. Nowhere. Even for money. Even for 500 rubles. Even in our break room. If you show me our room of rest, I, together with you with pleasure smoke.
Yes, work is like. I am not afraid to fly. Emergency cases were not. No, sex is not involved in the flight. Even with the pilots. And with no wires involved. And with passengers. And with the porters, and the technicians and supervisors to have sex, I was not involved in the flight. God, give me strength ...
And the smoke is still impossible, because the plane is completely burnt out in two minutes, and to decrease emergency, it is necessary to at least twenty, and if there is a where. You catch? I do not know you, but I like my life the way memory.
And you? Well you just did not ask for water when did your neighbor, and when I brought him to you "remember" what you want to drink, too? You think, I am pleased to run back and forth a few times? Oh, it's my job, I pay money for it ... Come and I'll open secret: the money I paid for ensuring your safety - and only. That is in my job description is written that I am obliged to save you in an emergency and try to pump out if you suddenly become ill. What I raznoshu food and water, that is to say, an act of good will. So lift up your ass for the first time in four hours of flight, and go for water - at least razomnёshsya. We have, for your information, not even sat down once.
No, a woman, your parachute is not stolen. And not drunk. It was not originally. Honestly. In flight, the door is still open is impossible, but on the ground you and jump with him nowhere. No, we also do not have parachutes. Honestly. And pilots, too. I swear on the Air Code.
Finally we sat down. Please do not get up and open the luggage racks, as soon as the plane touched the ground. You are not in the Soviet Union, it is not necessary to create a queue in the aisle. The aircraft taxiing for another. If he will rise sharply, you find yourself, as well as the stay is not what you get out of the plane face with broken teeth and broken arms.
"Dear passengers," you have fun, you relax flying. Just keep in mind that you will come out, but we still have to fly back. Passengers will be new and fresh, but we - not very.
You know the dream of flight attendants? Watched the movie "The Fifth Element"? That on takeoff flight attendant pressed a button, and all the passengers fall asleep abruptly, and woke up only when the landing, after turning off the light panel "Fasten seat."
Well, they all went out? New Download. And again: "And we could reach? And what plane? A sober pilots? And where then you can put the trunk? .. "
