7 annoying things you do because you want to always be right

We’re all familiar with the type of people who can be challenged. Every conversation becomes a battlefield where the main goal is to prove yourself right at any cost. But what if that person is you? Psychological studies show that the desire to be right at all costs can seriously poison relationships and cause chronic stress in others. Find out what annoying habits you can unconsciously cultivate for fear of admitting you’re wrong, and learn to manage them before they control you.

Why are we so eager to be right?
Before diving into the specific manifestations of this trend, it is important to understand its psychological roots. According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, our desire to be right is linked to basic mechanisms for protecting self-esteem and preventing cognitive dissonance.
Admitting to be wrong activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. Evolutionarily, our brains are designed to protect not only the physical integrity of the body, but also psychological constructs, including the image of ourselves as a competent person.

Understanding that the urge to be right has deep neurobiological underpinnings helps us treat this issue with greater empathy. But that doesn’t mean we should let that impulse control our behavior and disrupt our relationships.
7 annoying manifestations of the desire to be right
1st
Interrupting the interlocutor in half-word

One of the most obvious and annoying manifestations of the desire to be right is the habit of interrupting others. When we hear something that we disagree with, or suddenly find a flaw in the argument of the interlocutor, the brain seems to turn on an alarming siren. The impatience to correct the "mistake" becomes so strong that we can't wait our turn to speak.
Alert: Do you notice that people often tell you, “Let me finish” or “I’m not done yet”? This is a sign that you have a habit of interrupting.


How to fix: Practice active listening. Make a rule for yourself: after the interlocutor has finished talking, pause for 3 seconds before beginning your answer. This will not only help to avoid interruptions, but also give time to reflect on what was heard.

2.
Selective hearing

When we are obsessed with the idea of being right, we often listen selectively, paying attention only to the parts of his speech that can be refuted. Research on cognitive psychology shows that this is a manifestation of confirmatory bias — the tendency to seek out information that confirms our beliefs and ignores what contradicts them.

Implications: Selective listening not only irritates the interlocutor, but also seriously reduces the quality of communication. You may miss important information or misinterpret what has been said, leading to even more misunderstandings.

How to fix: Practice paraphrasing. Before expressing disagreement, repeat the argument of the interlocutor in your own words: “If I understand correctly, you say that...” It will make you really listen and understand the opponent’s position.

3
Impairing someone else's experience

When we strive to be right, we tend to devalue other people’s experiences, especially if they contradict our beliefs. “It’s just your subjective opinion”, “It just seemed to you”, “You’re overreacting emotionally” – such phrases often serve to discredit someone else’s point of view without the need for serious consideration.
According to a meta-analysis of communication patterns, the depreciation of someone else’s experience is one of the most toxic elements of communication, which significantly reduces trust and openness in relationships.

How to fix: Make a rule for yourself: the experience and feelings of another person are not subject to dispute. You may not agree with his conclusions or interpretations, but the fact that a person has felt or experienced something must be taken for granted.

4.
Twisting arguments

One of the most intellectually dishonest tactics is the deliberate or unintentional distortion of an opponent’s arguments. This is manifested in simplification of complex arguments, bringing them to absurdity or attributing to the interlocutor positions that he did not adhere to. Logically, this is called the “straw argument” – we create a caricature of the opponent’s position, which is easy to refute.
Logical errors of this kind are often accompanied by phrases such as: “So you want to say that...”, followed by a radicalized or simplified version of the interlocutor’s argument.

How to fix: Fight your own interpretation of what the interlocutor said. Rephrase his thoughts as sympathetically as possible, trying to present his arguments in the strongest form, and not in the easiest to refute.

5
Transition to personalities

When arguments end and the desire to be right remains, there is often a shift from discussing ideas to criticizing the opponent's personality. This can manifest itself both in the form of direct insults and in the form of more subtle manipulations: hints of incompetence, lack of experience or bias of the interlocutor.
Why this is happening: Cognitive psychologists attribute this to the protective response of the brain. When our beliefs are threatened, attacking the source of the threat seems to be an effective strategy to defend them.

How to fix: Set a strict rule for yourself: discuss ideas, not people. If you find yourself wanting to point out your opponent’s incompetence or other personal qualities, stop yourself and return to the argument.

6
Inability to say "I don't know"


People obsessed with being right often have a pathological fear of admitting to ignorance. This results in them expressing confident opinions on issues that are poorly understood, or inventing pseudo-facts on the go.
The Dunning-Kruger effect study shows that the less a person knows about a subject, the more confident they can speak out about it. This is due to the fact that lack of knowledge does not allow you to adequately assess your own competence.

How to fix: Practice intellectual humility. The phrase “I don’t know, but I can learn” shows not weakness, but maturity and honesty. Recognizing the boundaries of your knowledge is the first step to expanding them.

7
Inability to admit your mistake

The quintessence of being right is a categorical unwillingness to admit one’s own mistakes. This is manifested in excuses, shifting responsibility, finding external causes of failure, or even in the complete denial of the obvious.
Paradoxically, the inability to admit a mistake does not increase, but reduces the authority of a person in the eyes of others. Studies show that people who are able to honestly admit their mistakes are more trusted and respected.

How to fix: Start small. Practice admitting minor mistakes to gradually develop comfort with admitting more serious mistakes. Remember that it is impossible to be right 100% of the time, and striving for it is a direct path to cognitive distortion and self-deception.

Why is it so important to work on this habit?
The desire to always be right has serious consequences for our psychological well-being and relationship quality.

• Social exclusion People try to avoid those who constantly challenge their opinions and devalue their experience.
• The distortion of reality In order to maintain the illusion of being right, we are forced to ignore or distort contradictory facts.
• An obstacle to personal growth Without acknowledging mistakes, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to learn from them.
• Chronic stress Constantly defending your position requires significant emotional resources.

The Way to Healthy Communication
Getting rid of the need to always be right is not an easy task, but each step in this direction significantly improves the quality of our relationships and the level of psychological comfort. Remember that true power lies not in never making mistakes, but in the ability to acknowledge and learn from your mistakes.
Learn to value dialogue over monologue, understanding over conviction, and connection over rightness. Often in an argument you can be right on the merits, but lose in a relationship. Research shows that on their deathbeds, people rarely regret losing arguments, but often regret a broken relationship.

Glossary
Cognitive dissonance
Psychological discomfort that occurs when conflicting ideas, beliefs or values clash. Often, the brain tends to reduce this discomfort by rejecting new information that contradicts established views.
Confirmation bias (confirmation bias)
The tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms preexisting beliefs or hypotheses. One of the most common cognitive biases.
Straw stuffed argument
Logical error consists in deliberate distortion of the opponent’s position in order to make it easier to refute. It is so named because it is easier to deal with an artificially created “stuffed” argument than with a real argument.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect
Metacognitive bias, in which people with low levels of competence in a particular field tend to overestimate their abilities, and experts, on the contrary, underestimate them. It is named after researchers David Dunning and Justin Kruger.
Intellectual humility
The ability to understand the limits of your knowledge and competence. It involves a willingness to admit mistakes, an openness to new ideas and criticism, and an understanding that knowledge is a continuous process, not a fixed state.
Active hearing
A communication technique in which the listener concentrates fully on the speaker, understands the message, remembers it and responds appropriately. Includes nonverbal attention signals, clarifying questions and paraphrasing what was heard.
Selective hearing
The process by which a person filters out information, paying attention only to what is consistent with their beliefs or interests, and ignoring the rest.