10 rules that will help to build relationships

Relationships are a living organism that requires a conscious approach. According to a study by Harvard University (2022), 68% of conflicts in couples arise from misinterpretation of emotions. How to turn misunderstanding into a resource for growth? We understand through the prism of neuropsychology and modern therapy.

Fundamental principles

1. Discard the myth of “mind reading”
Experiments from the UCLA Laboratory of Social Neuroscience have shown that even spouses with experience correctly decipher their partner’s emotions in only 43% of cases. Solution: Practice "emotional checks" - specific questions instead of assumptions ("Do you look upset - is that because of my comment?").



2. Create a Ritual for Conflict
According to the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples with a thoughtful “protocol of quarrels” recover 40% faster. Example of structure:

• Cooling (20-30 min)
• Alternate statement without interruptions
  
• Focus on future solutions

3. Develop cognitive empathy
Neuropsychologist Tanya Singer distinguishes two types of empathy: affective (emotional infection) and cognitive (conscious understanding). Train the second through the Perspective Mirror technique: analyze your partner’s motives as the behavior of a literary hero.

Emotional security tactics

4. Enter “stop words” for critical moments
A password phrase (e.g., “Code Red”) that signals a pause reduces conflict escalation by 57%, according to a Gottman Institute study.



5. Practice joint meditation
An 8-week MIT study found that synchronized breathing practices increased oxytocin production by 31 percent and improved nonverbal communication.

6. Create a "positive bank"
According to psychologist John Gottman, stable pairs maintain a 5:1 positive/negative relationship. Fill in the general diary:

• Attention microesters
• Joint achievements
• Thank you.

Glossary
Cognitive empathy
Ability to understand another’s emotions through intellectual analysis
Emotional check
Structured query to clarify emotional state
Assertiveness
Ability to express feelings without aggression or passivity