Sitting and crying at how selfish and soulless my children are, the holidays showed the essence of our family.

What is selfishness?At its core? A person’s preference to follow their personal interests, literally in any situation. And yes, it's not cured. Usually, children with the wrong upbringing may not behave very adequately. But a decent environment with the right culture of behavior can still set them on a normal path. But with an adult, this will not happen. Especially if there is a person in his circle, morally weaker than him. And it's actually sad.

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Someone might say, What is so-and-so? Well, you have a familiar egotist, but just stop communicating with him. Get rid of that leech, that vampire. That's good. What if you can’t get rid of it just like that? If it's your husband or relative? What if it's your boss that your family budget depends on? Get a new job? Of course, it is so easy, especially in our time. In general, there are many “buts” that, unfortunately, cannot be solved so easily.

Over the past holidays, I have become quite grumpy and finally realized how selfish and soulless my family is. Every family member disappointed me in their own way. Like they all conspired. Apparently, the beginning of the new year is only flowers, and berries will go later. I remember the old days with sadness and even miss them. Oh, they're family people. Why have they become so alien and cold, have they always been?

First, my son called and said that he and his wife probably would not come. From his voice in the tube, it was clear that he was already drunk. In general, nothing surprising. Even if he does not restrain himself on normal days, he will drink even more during the holidays. But I'm an ordinary woman. And even though I'm already over fifty, sometimes I want to believe in a miracle. I didn’t expect anything, but at this time I want to believe in miracles more than ever. So I was hoping, deep inside, that my son would at least give me that gift. Alas, that didn't happen.



Right after we talked, my sister-in-law called me from the same number. She, even without saying hello, began to lament and complain about Andrew. She talked about how tired she was of all this, how tired she was of such a relationship and, if it wasn’t for me, would have left my son long ago. I tried to cheer her up, but it was really hard. We both knew they were just words. That I was like a free psychologist at the time, because we both knew the truth.

My daughter-in-law is not going anywhere, at least not until she has a baby or they change their home. The thing is, she's not even from our city. And, having married Andrew, came, you can say, for everything ready. The apartment was given to my son by his father, my ex-husband. So, my daughter-in-law, you can say, depends on this whole situation. Her parents live far away, in a very small town on the other side of the country. No prospects, no future.

So my son's wife has to endure his antics. He is not a hopeless drunkard, has a job and even a good one. But all the money is spent at its own discretion. On myself, mostly. The rest goes to pay communal and buy food for a month. On the other hand, the daughter-in-law is not in a hurry to work herself. It's been almost a year and a half. So I guess they're both comfortable. In general, there were two loneliness. And it makes my heart hurt.



My daughter called, but in her case I did not even hope for any understanding. She and I have been in a long fight since she got married. According to her logic, all her mistakes in life are to blame for me and no one else. She calls me more often than Andrew. But only in order to after a few minutes of normal communication of the daughter with her mother, be offended or just brazenly come to a conflict. Then, usually, screams, accusations and she hangs up. About two weeks. And then again.

You see, she's the oldest child in the family. And, as is customary with older people, I firmly believe that I, as a mother, put a lot of pressure on her as a child. That's why she loved her father more. I was very worried when I divorced him and blamed me for everything. She also believes that I gave all my love to my son. And Lisa didn't get anything. Do you think my daughter was a difficult teenager? I think it's obvious. Well, she also did not stay in the girls - she married the first person she met, just to start living elsewhere. Which led her to new life problems.



I have two grandchildren and both are from my daughter. Lisa loves her children very much. But she hates her husband. Probably more than me. I honestly don't understand why. At first he seemed strange and introverted. And then I saw him as an ordinary person, with his pros and cons. Yeah, sometimes there's nothing to talk about. About football, except for work. But, on the other hand, he fully supports their family, works very hard and spends all his free time on his children. Perfect man, if you think about it!

But Lisa didn't even like it. She wants her husband to talk about something, make plans for the future, just have fun. And my son-in-law is not like that. But I know who really was, my husband, Elizabeth’s dad. So she's looking for a father in a relationship now? At the same time, she married with her head held high, without even inviting me to the ceremony. And now it turns out it's all my fault. Can you imagine?



So, yes, with the kids, I have a complete misunderstanding and, in general, it is all sad. There is no strong man nearby who can hug and comfort. After breaking up with my ex-husband, I was in a relationship for a while, but it didn’t lead to anything. The sad irony is that it was because of this man that I divorced, leaving my first husband, father Lisa and Andrew. But it probably would have happened one way or another. I'll be honest with you.

My husband never took things seriously. Everything was funny and fun, as long as he had more friends. At first it seems that there is some charm, interest. But living with such a “fun man” can be very, very difficult. The kids are drawn to him, and I'm an angry mother who makes everyone go to bed early, stop dabbling and so on. And to be honest, respect for this type of man somehow disappears very quickly. It's like you're not living with a male who's always gonna give you a shoulder, but a clown. So I rushed to find a real man, but I got burned.



Now my life is like this. I live purely by inertia, each time wondering who my children have become. I used to have a cat, but six months ago he ran away and now I'm all alone. Not a good start to the year, I know. Somewhere inside of me there is still hope that it will still calm down. But every day, she slowly burns out. Let’s see what the new year brings. Laughter and joy or apathy and new resentments. I have nothing more to share with you. Take care of yourself and have a good day.