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Mom's in her 70s, so I decided to take her back to town, but I soon realized it was a mistake.
Constructive criticism of your own child is always an opportunity to run into conflict. No matter how close and dear we are, each of us is a separate person who hates to hear negative things about himself. And when it happens again and again, things will only get worse. That is why there is the so-called problem of fathers and children. Different generations don’t want to hear each other. There is a temporary gap between them.
On the other hand, adults are not always tolerant of possible claims from young people. What does she understand, after all? Did she have the experience to judge those who lived life? Of course not. This has never happened before. Young people only showed respect and went about their business. Without saying anything. It was fine, what now?
Constructive Criticism I can’t say that my family is on my own, because that would be untrue. My husband is a good specialist. So thanks to his work, my children and I live pretty well. We have a three-bedroom apartment near the center, there is a car, a cottage. I am very grateful to him for this, although it is because of his work that we see each other on a very irregular schedule. A couple of days he can not leave the apartment, and then go on a business trip for the whole week.
But I knew what I was doing. The role of a housewife suits me perfectly. Today, a woman is not obliged to chop wood and carry water from a spring. Much depends on modern technology, which saves time, making life easier. So my children and I manage to walk a lot, go to exhibitions, just have a good and fun time. And if I don't have time to cook dinner, the delivery service will do just fine. The main thing is to know who to turn to.
My mother lives in the country alone. She's over 70, and believe me, as an only daughter, I understand everything. I used to visit her often with my husband and children. They brought guests, food. Everything I needed. But because of my husband’s constant employment, I was tired of asking him to sacrifice free time to visit my mother. I don't know how to drive myself, so our visits have become less and less frequent.
But don’t be quick to judge me, constructive criticism is needed everywhere. I did not forget about my mother and, having discussed everything with my husband, decided to move her to live with us in the city. Grandchildren love their mother. Husband respects, too. Besides, she feels pretty good, so it shouldn't have been a burden to anyone. If she can serve herself in the countryside, then here, with me and all the necessary gadgets, her life would only become more comfortable. At least that's what I thought. But life has shown that things are really not that simple.
We gave my mother a room that she never left at first. Big TV, a lot of canals. I cooked. It's like Mom loves it. A hearty home kitchen, no overseas products, as simple and delicious as possible. I was a little afraid that the family would treat this with negativity, but borscht, blueberries and dumplings liked even children, not to mention my husband. He also started to praise me, which was very nice.
But then, when my mother settled down a little, her attitude towards me became quite difficult. First of all, she changed everything in her room as she saw fit. Then I went to the kitchen and even the bathroom. I didn't ask her to clean or wash the dishes. But for some reason, she moved all the household chemistry from one place to another, put kitchen towels where I would never have found them myself. And I still don't know why.
Condiments, sugar and other trifles she took from the top shelf and moved to the table. No, I understand, there's plenty of room. But only the husband drinks coffee with sugar from the whole family. He is the only one who uses hot pepper. That’s why all these products were on top. He's tall, he'll get himself. My mother and I are small, and in general, I picked up the kitchen to be comfortable.
The same thing happened with the bathroom. The reshuffle didn't bypass her either. And I understand if you want a private space for soap, hygiene, toothbrush. But the cure for pipe clogs. What was it that bothered you?! Some personal preference, I guess. Make it feng shui. Was there any constructive criticism? Nope!
But it didn't end there either. Soon my mother began to criticize me, because I did not do much household chores. In her mind, I should not have had too much time, especially since I am a mother of two children. If the cooker cooks, it is her merit, not mine. All I have to do is go around in the kitchen and wash, cook or clean. And here, you see, even the kettle turns off when it boils. How is that?!
I'm wrong about the kids, too. We spend too much time together. Children should go to school and do their homework. All my talk about self-development and other things for my mother is empty. Just contrived water to deprive her grandchildren of independence. Well, at least she didn't make me go and study with them like I used to. To teach them a book that they will never use later.
It's been about two months, and yes, I know I'm very patient. At first, I thought that was how the city affected her. I didn’t want my mother to sit within four walls. Showed sights, told us that here we show what is happening at all. But she wasn't interested at all. Then I asked if she missed her friends in the village and wanted to visit them. There was one answer: “What I didn’t see there, they’re old.”
And finally, I couldn't stand it and asked my mom to come home. Maybe she'll be fine there and she won't be so nervous. To which she agreed with undisguised pleasure. My husband and I had to take her back. We loaded a machine full of food, water and everything we needed. Since then, on the phone, my mother always has a cheerful and cheerful voice. She readily communicates with me and does not forget to ask how there is a son-in-law and her grandchildren.
Peels I don't understand where she got that in character. She's a smart, grown woman. But why did my mom start acting like a cranky kid in my house? Did the presence of our family make her so tired? Or maybe it's just me. It knocks me off track and even makes me feel empty and miserable. I hope she really feels at home in the village. If anything, we will always welcome our mother back. The main thing is her own desire. And to be honest, a little more than normal human positivity.
On the other hand, adults are not always tolerant of possible claims from young people. What does she understand, after all? Did she have the experience to judge those who lived life? Of course not. This has never happened before. Young people only showed respect and went about their business. Without saying anything. It was fine, what now?
Constructive Criticism I can’t say that my family is on my own, because that would be untrue. My husband is a good specialist. So thanks to his work, my children and I live pretty well. We have a three-bedroom apartment near the center, there is a car, a cottage. I am very grateful to him for this, although it is because of his work that we see each other on a very irregular schedule. A couple of days he can not leave the apartment, and then go on a business trip for the whole week.
But I knew what I was doing. The role of a housewife suits me perfectly. Today, a woman is not obliged to chop wood and carry water from a spring. Much depends on modern technology, which saves time, making life easier. So my children and I manage to walk a lot, go to exhibitions, just have a good and fun time. And if I don't have time to cook dinner, the delivery service will do just fine. The main thing is to know who to turn to.
My mother lives in the country alone. She's over 70, and believe me, as an only daughter, I understand everything. I used to visit her often with my husband and children. They brought guests, food. Everything I needed. But because of my husband’s constant employment, I was tired of asking him to sacrifice free time to visit my mother. I don't know how to drive myself, so our visits have become less and less frequent.
But don’t be quick to judge me, constructive criticism is needed everywhere. I did not forget about my mother and, having discussed everything with my husband, decided to move her to live with us in the city. Grandchildren love their mother. Husband respects, too. Besides, she feels pretty good, so it shouldn't have been a burden to anyone. If she can serve herself in the countryside, then here, with me and all the necessary gadgets, her life would only become more comfortable. At least that's what I thought. But life has shown that things are really not that simple.
We gave my mother a room that she never left at first. Big TV, a lot of canals. I cooked. It's like Mom loves it. A hearty home kitchen, no overseas products, as simple and delicious as possible. I was a little afraid that the family would treat this with negativity, but borscht, blueberries and dumplings liked even children, not to mention my husband. He also started to praise me, which was very nice.
But then, when my mother settled down a little, her attitude towards me became quite difficult. First of all, she changed everything in her room as she saw fit. Then I went to the kitchen and even the bathroom. I didn't ask her to clean or wash the dishes. But for some reason, she moved all the household chemistry from one place to another, put kitchen towels where I would never have found them myself. And I still don't know why.
Condiments, sugar and other trifles she took from the top shelf and moved to the table. No, I understand, there's plenty of room. But only the husband drinks coffee with sugar from the whole family. He is the only one who uses hot pepper. That’s why all these products were on top. He's tall, he'll get himself. My mother and I are small, and in general, I picked up the kitchen to be comfortable.
The same thing happened with the bathroom. The reshuffle didn't bypass her either. And I understand if you want a private space for soap, hygiene, toothbrush. But the cure for pipe clogs. What was it that bothered you?! Some personal preference, I guess. Make it feng shui. Was there any constructive criticism? Nope!
But it didn't end there either. Soon my mother began to criticize me, because I did not do much household chores. In her mind, I should not have had too much time, especially since I am a mother of two children. If the cooker cooks, it is her merit, not mine. All I have to do is go around in the kitchen and wash, cook or clean. And here, you see, even the kettle turns off when it boils. How is that?!
I'm wrong about the kids, too. We spend too much time together. Children should go to school and do their homework. All my talk about self-development and other things for my mother is empty. Just contrived water to deprive her grandchildren of independence. Well, at least she didn't make me go and study with them like I used to. To teach them a book that they will never use later.
It's been about two months, and yes, I know I'm very patient. At first, I thought that was how the city affected her. I didn’t want my mother to sit within four walls. Showed sights, told us that here we show what is happening at all. But she wasn't interested at all. Then I asked if she missed her friends in the village and wanted to visit them. There was one answer: “What I didn’t see there, they’re old.”
And finally, I couldn't stand it and asked my mom to come home. Maybe she'll be fine there and she won't be so nervous. To which she agreed with undisguised pleasure. My husband and I had to take her back. We loaded a machine full of food, water and everything we needed. Since then, on the phone, my mother always has a cheerful and cheerful voice. She readily communicates with me and does not forget to ask how there is a son-in-law and her grandchildren.
Peels I don't understand where she got that in character. She's a smart, grown woman. But why did my mom start acting like a cranky kid in my house? Did the presence of our family make her so tired? Or maybe it's just me. It knocks me off track and even makes me feel empty and miserable. I hope she really feels at home in the village. If anything, we will always welcome our mother back. The main thing is her own desire. And to be honest, a little more than normal human positivity.
After the birth of my granddaughter, my mother-in-law offered us to change apartments, I did not mind moving into her two-piece, but then she announced the condition.
As the Rothschilds hint with The Economist’s new cover for 2024, change is coming