Daughter is 16 years old, and she fundamentally refuses to wash the dishes behind her, she no longer has the strength to tolerate it.

Did you know that soap categorically not recommended? But many sin this, especially men, who are sometimes lazy to go to the nearest market and buy a regular cleaning product. It's all about household chemicals. Liquid soap is much worse washed off, so it may not dissolve and get into our body with the next meal.



Peels is another matter if washing dishes is generally a problem, like the process itself. If a person does not want to wash it in principle. For example, a son or daughter of a teenager. For one reason or another, they can arrange whole tantrums, incomprehensible to parents. Sounds like a normal kid. He's acting like he doesn't know who. What is the reason for this behavior?

My daughter is an ordinary sixteen-year-old girl. She doesn't go out with suspicious guys, she studies well, she even plays the violin. My husband and I tried to raise her as a normal person, not particularly picky about grades. Good people, they say, grow up much more prepared for life than good people. So no one ever put pressure on Vick.



But recently, for some reason, it has changed. She locked herself in her room, groaning. Okay, that's the age. But she even refuses to wash dishes with or without soap! Not only for yourself, but also for friends who can come to visit us sometimes. This is not normal, even in terms of normal logic. A year ago there was nothing like that. What kind of selective squeamishness is that, please tell me?

First of all, I must say that there is no reason in this case to somehow break down and punish the daughter. The phrase “immature mind” really describes the situation that happens to some adolescents. This is due to internal processes, hormones and even some parts of the brain.

Scientists who conducted numerous studies on this topic, came to the conclusion that the amygdala in the human brain is finally formed only 25 years. And before that time often arranges a “fortress test” in a person. Mood changes, moral fatigue or, conversely, increased emotionality are all part of the formation of our body and psyche. Something similar happens to women during pregnancy.



It so happens that parents at this moment are near and they, as close people, such behavior is even more striking. Outbursts of anger or total apathy are laid down by our behavioral patterns and it is impossible to fight this using the principle of “carrot and stick”. But you can try to correct the situation by psychological methods.

What do we do? First of all, it would not hurt to establish certain rules at home that everyone could adhere to. My house is my rules, my father and I earned it. Because, first, it translates the relationship with the child in another plane, not fair, in his opinion. And secondly, they obviously just don't work. And relations in the future do not strengthen this approach.

You should try to let the child know that the problem that has arisen concerns his parents. Going into a dialogue like with any other intelligent person is a good decision. Do not forget that the child may have an unstable psyche. But at the level of his aikiu, this does not affect at all. Do not try to outsmart him with some primitive household techniques. Everyone at heart is Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud. But in fact, most of us are the simple-minded Aunt Polly from the Tom Sawyer book.



Offer the child some concessions in return for not forgetting about his duties. Of course, while maintaining balance. Don’t be your son or daughter’s best friend. He already has friends. We should not allow a panibratical attitude.

Secure the result in a couple of weeks. Analyze how things are going. Be prepared for the fact that the child will not want to break into his room at any time. Children (as well as adults) can not stand if some of their personal belongings, such as shelves in the closet or mobile phone, can be inspected simply because of the sudden desire of one of the parents. Do not assume that the gloomy child lives in some criminal series and hides something illegal. The usual secrets of teenagers that are easier to admit than to spoil the relationship because of them.

After some time, you can find out in a conversation with the child, what sanctions will follow if the agreed rules are not followed. This applies to all family members. This approach increases the desire to adhere to the old agreements. Just to prove you can do it.



You can still take care of yourself. Because, although we are now considering the problems that arise in children, parents are also not always perfect. If there is a real scandal because of one unwashed cup, then mom or dad should also seek professional help.

Look at old photos and remember yourself at that age. Didn't your parents complain about you at all? In most cases, that was the case. And what did that mean? If parents see themselves as normal, their children will grow up to be the same. What a generation, here we are before. One of the most deceitful phrases you can think of. There were bullies and infantiles in the past. Today’s young people are no worse.



To understand your child, you need to strive for this. There is no magic phrase that makes it convenient for parents. To influence the formed personality is almost impossible. It's still forming, and it's harder. But if you loosen your grip a little and talk, you can avoid many problems. Even in the future. After all, education is work. And he doesn't have to be very easy.