Bashny.Net
I tell my mother that I will get married after the rain on Thursday to resist the “babulling” and provocations.
Bashny.Net
Psychological pressure It can be hidden in ordinary statements. “When are you going to get married?”, “You’re not 20, when do you think you’re going to have a baby?”, “I’m going to have grandchildren?” – many women have heard such tactless questions in their address. It turns out that there is a separate term that can be called such behavior. We're with the editors. "Site" We will describe it in detail in the article.
Psychological pressure must be familiar to many bullyingIt refers to the arrogant, aggressive behavior of one member of the community towards others. This is especially true for students and students.
But the forms of psychological bullying are so diverse that new terms are emerging. For example, "babulling" (from the combination of the words “grandmother” and “bullying”). Moms, grandmothers, acquaintances and even strangers do not cease to pester women with questions about marriage and children. That's babulling.
This is an unpleasant social phenomenon. affects women who, for various reasons, have not married or given birth to a child. Or those who are married but do not plan to have children.
If a woman is motivated by material problems, the phrase “God gave a bunny, will give a lawn” is used. Like, somehow it will. When you answer that you just do not want to, do not feel psychological readiness, everything becomes even more interesting: “If there are no children, you do not know what love is”, “There will be a child, you will understand” and so on.
Another "wonderful" motivation to have a child: "Who will give you a glass of water in old age?" So it turns out that you need to be guided by selfish motives and grow yourself a helper in case of difficult times?
When tactless phrases are attacked by unfamiliar people, you can just wave your hand and not pay attention. But if the family is involved, it is more difficult to ignore. In addition, babulling acquires a more specific form: “Lyuba’s granddaughter is already 7 years old, and I will not live to see my grandchildren”, “Tani has two, and you can’t give birth to one” and all that.
The insidiousness of babulling is that he It does not end after marriage or even after the birth of the first child.. “And when?”, “Well, it’s time to think about the son”, “How do you not want a second child?”
In Soviet times, women giving birth after the age of 25 were considered old-born. Of course, this was due to a number of factors. First, living conditions were worse. Secondly, the level of development of medicine and science was much lower. Modern technologies in medicine allow to give birth to healthy children after 40.
A lot of people will say, “What will it look like when an old woman takes a child to first grade?” Let’s think about what is better: to give birth later, but to raise the baby in an atmosphere of love and prosperity or to get an unwanted child from an unloved person and then blame the child for their misfortunes?
Previously, the main mission in the life of every girl was the creation of a family and the birth of a child. Nobody cares if she wants to be ready. And the women themselves. They rarely think about their true desires.. Career and personal interests have always been sidelined. Every girl from early childhood knew that she was destined for marriage and motherhood.
It is clear that ideas about the role of women in society have changed a lot over the past decades. But the patriarchal upbringing of past generations does not allow them to simply understand and accept new foundations. For many people, having a child after 30 or not wanting to have children still seems unnatural.
Our reader Maria tells us about her experience:
“I am 25 years old and have just graduated from university. My parents started asking me when I was getting married. I don’t even have a regular boyfriend right now. Recently, they decided to change tactics and started bullying me. They say that soon my ovaries will cease to function, and if I do not give birth in the near future, I will remain childless.
“No one is interested in the fact that I first want to strengthen my financial position in order to be able to provide for the child. Find a reliable partner. They guarantee their support and assistance from the state. I feel like I have to get pregnant from the first person I meet just to have a baby!
In this situation, adults who put psychological pressure on their daughter, They don’t think about the consequences.. Will a girl be happy in a marriage that is concluded only because of “it is customary”? Will she love a child she didn’t want? After all, all this can psychologically break a woman, make her and an innocent baby unhappy.
Reader Alina also became a victim of babulling:
“I am 33 years old and not married. But I have a successful career, I make a good living, I travel the world and I feel complete. By the way, I do not feel a lack of male attention. But my relatives still feel that something is wrong with me, because I do not aspire to start a family.
“My mother tries to manipulate me into guilt. Insinuates that she will not understand her grandchildren, will not live to see them. At first I tried to explain my position properly. I told him I wanted to work first. But the answer is the same: my chances of having a healthy baby drop rapidly over the years.
After thirty, only unhealthy children are born. yet another outmoded stereotype. There are no official studies confirming the fact that a woman after a certain age is better not to give birth. But those who practice babulling are not interested in statistics. They cover themselves with common phrases: “this is what doctors say”, “the daughter of Natalia Petrovna was like this”.
How to react to babulling If you notice psychological pressure in your direction, the main thing is: Do not succumb to provocations and do not enter into an argument.. You will not convince anyone anyway, but they, noticing your reaction, can attack with new strength: “The truth hurts your eyes!”, “You are angry because you understand yourself!” Stay calm, stay calm.
Show me what you have. There are personal boundaries you are willing to protect.. Tell your friends and acquaintances that you are more comfortable alone – you do what you want and when you want, you live a full and fulfilling life.
If relatives attack, answer directly: it is not their business, you will decide what you should do, cope with marriage and the birth of a child without their advice. You can also use humor to protect your borders. Sometimes it helps better than any reasonable argument.
Have you ever dealt with babulling? How do you usually react to such statements in your favor? Tell me in the comments!
Psychological pressure must be familiar to many bullyingIt refers to the arrogant, aggressive behavior of one member of the community towards others. This is especially true for students and students.
But the forms of psychological bullying are so diverse that new terms are emerging. For example, "babulling" (from the combination of the words “grandmother” and “bullying”). Moms, grandmothers, acquaintances and even strangers do not cease to pester women with questions about marriage and children. That's babulling.
This is an unpleasant social phenomenon. affects women who, for various reasons, have not married or given birth to a child. Or those who are married but do not plan to have children.
If a woman is motivated by material problems, the phrase “God gave a bunny, will give a lawn” is used. Like, somehow it will. When you answer that you just do not want to, do not feel psychological readiness, everything becomes even more interesting: “If there are no children, you do not know what love is”, “There will be a child, you will understand” and so on.
Another "wonderful" motivation to have a child: "Who will give you a glass of water in old age?" So it turns out that you need to be guided by selfish motives and grow yourself a helper in case of difficult times?
When tactless phrases are attacked by unfamiliar people, you can just wave your hand and not pay attention. But if the family is involved, it is more difficult to ignore. In addition, babulling acquires a more specific form: “Lyuba’s granddaughter is already 7 years old, and I will not live to see my grandchildren”, “Tani has two, and you can’t give birth to one” and all that.
The insidiousness of babulling is that he It does not end after marriage or even after the birth of the first child.. “And when?”, “Well, it’s time to think about the son”, “How do you not want a second child?”
In Soviet times, women giving birth after the age of 25 were considered old-born. Of course, this was due to a number of factors. First, living conditions were worse. Secondly, the level of development of medicine and science was much lower. Modern technologies in medicine allow to give birth to healthy children after 40.
A lot of people will say, “What will it look like when an old woman takes a child to first grade?” Let’s think about what is better: to give birth later, but to raise the baby in an atmosphere of love and prosperity or to get an unwanted child from an unloved person and then blame the child for their misfortunes?
Previously, the main mission in the life of every girl was the creation of a family and the birth of a child. Nobody cares if she wants to be ready. And the women themselves. They rarely think about their true desires.. Career and personal interests have always been sidelined. Every girl from early childhood knew that she was destined for marriage and motherhood.
It is clear that ideas about the role of women in society have changed a lot over the past decades. But the patriarchal upbringing of past generations does not allow them to simply understand and accept new foundations. For many people, having a child after 30 or not wanting to have children still seems unnatural.
Our reader Maria tells us about her experience:
“I am 25 years old and have just graduated from university. My parents started asking me when I was getting married. I don’t even have a regular boyfriend right now. Recently, they decided to change tactics and started bullying me. They say that soon my ovaries will cease to function, and if I do not give birth in the near future, I will remain childless.
“No one is interested in the fact that I first want to strengthen my financial position in order to be able to provide for the child. Find a reliable partner. They guarantee their support and assistance from the state. I feel like I have to get pregnant from the first person I meet just to have a baby!
In this situation, adults who put psychological pressure on their daughter, They don’t think about the consequences.. Will a girl be happy in a marriage that is concluded only because of “it is customary”? Will she love a child she didn’t want? After all, all this can psychologically break a woman, make her and an innocent baby unhappy.
Reader Alina also became a victim of babulling:
“I am 33 years old and not married. But I have a successful career, I make a good living, I travel the world and I feel complete. By the way, I do not feel a lack of male attention. But my relatives still feel that something is wrong with me, because I do not aspire to start a family.
“My mother tries to manipulate me into guilt. Insinuates that she will not understand her grandchildren, will not live to see them. At first I tried to explain my position properly. I told him I wanted to work first. But the answer is the same: my chances of having a healthy baby drop rapidly over the years.
After thirty, only unhealthy children are born. yet another outmoded stereotype. There are no official studies confirming the fact that a woman after a certain age is better not to give birth. But those who practice babulling are not interested in statistics. They cover themselves with common phrases: “this is what doctors say”, “the daughter of Natalia Petrovna was like this”.
How to react to babulling If you notice psychological pressure in your direction, the main thing is: Do not succumb to provocations and do not enter into an argument.. You will not convince anyone anyway, but they, noticing your reaction, can attack with new strength: “The truth hurts your eyes!”, “You are angry because you understand yourself!” Stay calm, stay calm.
Show me what you have. There are personal boundaries you are willing to protect.. Tell your friends and acquaintances that you are more comfortable alone – you do what you want and when you want, you live a full and fulfilling life.
If relatives attack, answer directly: it is not their business, you will decide what you should do, cope with marriage and the birth of a child without their advice. You can also use humor to protect your borders. Sometimes it helps better than any reasonable argument.
Have you ever dealt with babulling? How do you usually react to such statements in your favor? Tell me in the comments!
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