Is it necessary to give birth to grandchildren if the mother blackmails the inheritance?

The phrase “I want grandchildren” is difficult to get used to, especially when it comes from the mouth of a native mother, who for no reason forces to give birth to an heir. Do parents have the right to control our lives? Should children give birth to grandchildren if they are not ready? There are several reasons why older people think they need to raise their grandchildren. But first, I want to share the story of a young girl who is being disinherited by her mother because of disagreements on the subject.



I want grandkids, my mom recently retired. She wants me to get pregnant soon. She and I are always fighting about it. Because my idea of happiness and family life is very different from my mother's fantasy. I got married 5 years ago. Since then, for every birthday, my mother wants me to replenish the family. Without realizing it, it creates a conflict.

Mother thinks that children are the meaning of life, the only thing worth living for. My husband and I are in no hurry to have children because we want to live for ourselves. We worked hard to raise money to buy a new apartment. We live in our own home without a mortgage.



I do not understand people who raise children in poverty, starve themselves and underfeed their children. Why suffer so much, who would be better off? I won’t say anything about others, but I was lucky to marry a man who shares my position. We travel, enjoy life, are not burdened with the care of a small child. My life at the moment is beautiful and I want to make the most of my youth, not sit with a mountain of dirty diapers and a crying baby.



My mother is an only child, and she divorced her father a long time ago. Since then, my mother has been sitting alone, and every time we talk to her, she repeats like a mantra: “When will you give birth?” – she already talked to my husband, and at any rate tried to convince that everyone needs children. Then why are there orphanages? I want to be honest with myself and people, and I’m not going to have a 9-month-old baby for anyone. Old people usually ask for grandchildren because they are supposed to, and then they refuse to look after them.



My mom and I recently had a fight about this. She said that she bequeathed the cottage and her apartment to her nephews. And I said let her nephews look after her now. We haven't spoken to her in a month. I stopped answering my phone. She came to my house and I didn’t open the door. I am an independent adult and I am aware of my actions. I'd rather be left without an inheritance than become an unhappy mother who hates her child. I am saddened by the fact that the person closest to me does not understand that I need something different from life.”



It is interesting that abroad pensioners never start talking about grandchildren. But if they do, the old people are very happy. At the same time, in any country on the playground, it is rare to see a grandparent with grandchildren, they are rather an exception to the rule. Usually, parents walk with children, parents feed them, dress them, take them to school and various sections. My grandparents come to my grandparents on weekends. Why is there such a desire to raise grandchildren?



In retirement, a person faces dreary loneliness. He doesn’t think anyone needs him, everyone needs to take care of someone. Instead of fighting with single parents, you can give them a pet. And then they will be less likely to demand replenishment in your family.

Due to the fact that many in old age put an end to themselves, they annoy their relatives with talk about children. It should be understood that the manipulation and disinheritance of their children will only aggravate the situation. And children may be more likely to care for parents who don't know what to spend the rest of their lives on.



In no case should you take financial assistance from parents who insist on grandchildren. Then they have an imaginary leverage and they count. That they paid in full to have grandchildren. But that won't help. Each couple has the right to choose, the joint decision of the spouses should not be submitted for general discussion. It's a private matter, isn't it?