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Why you shouldn’t force your child to be a good student
The child for parents is not only the object of unconditional love, but also the embodiment of their hopes. Loving mom and dad always firmly believe that, although they themselves have not managed to reach some heights, their talented child will surely be successful, and everyone will prove everything.
The child is from an early age. deprived of a happy childhood Restrict in games, watching cartoons and pastime with friends. But they are forced to memorize school subjects, especially those that are given to the child the most difficult. And as soon as the baby does not succeed, parents fall down with criticism and perceive failures at their own expense. Is that right?
“A man desperately wants his son to be a good student.” The boy is capable, but I do not observe him with much zeal for studying. Is it necessary to force the child to learn? And if so, how right is that? asks Maria, 27, the schoolboy's mother.
It is important to understand why the father wants to straighten out. Perhaps he is convinced that children with good grades in school are successful in adulthood. If so, this is a questionable position, because many studies have disproved the link between school success and adulthood.
Parents will always find a reason to worry about their child. And good grades are perceived as a way to reduce the degree of experience, to convince yourself that if the diary is five, then everything is fine. Which means learn well - and it'll be fine later, too.
You can’t say that five is bad, but you can’t make them the main goal. It is enough to look at the many successful people who averaged in school, but achieved more than their peers.
These successful people, for sure, in addition to school, were looking for a favorite thing, broadened their horizons, learned to build relationships with people and just enjoyed life. This helped them no less than a confident knowledge of chemistry and biology.
And to worry less about the future of the child, you can learn more about current trends and those skills that will be in demand in the future and help the child to succeed in life. You can think together about how to help the child develop the necessary skills.
It also happens that parents transfer their unfulfilled ambitions to the child. It is bad if the parent determines the degree of success of his offspring. This is especially true when mom and dad are not happy with their lives.
And then you need to learn to separate your desires and successes from the desires and successes of your child. This separation is the key to understanding many experiences. And if the family trusts, then it is not difficult to get to the truth.
And if high schooler 90% of free time is spent on scrupulous homework, giving up other joys of life and even sleep. Fearing to upset parents with a bad mark, a student can live in constant tension and fear, which will adversely affect his sleep, well-being and health.
Focus on learning will narrow the range of interests of the child – he will simply not have enough time for everything else. Even asking for help around the house or taking a walk with the dog can be painful, because it takes such valuable time. And are the years of such torment worth the cherished certificate of honor, which gives nothing but a reason to brag before acquaintances?
The child is from an early age. deprived of a happy childhood Restrict in games, watching cartoons and pastime with friends. But they are forced to memorize school subjects, especially those that are given to the child the most difficult. And as soon as the baby does not succeed, parents fall down with criticism and perceive failures at their own expense. Is that right?
“A man desperately wants his son to be a good student.” The boy is capable, but I do not observe him with much zeal for studying. Is it necessary to force the child to learn? And if so, how right is that? asks Maria, 27, the schoolboy's mother.
It is important to understand why the father wants to straighten out. Perhaps he is convinced that children with good grades in school are successful in adulthood. If so, this is a questionable position, because many studies have disproved the link between school success and adulthood.
Parents will always find a reason to worry about their child. And good grades are perceived as a way to reduce the degree of experience, to convince yourself that if the diary is five, then everything is fine. Which means learn well - and it'll be fine later, too.
You can’t say that five is bad, but you can’t make them the main goal. It is enough to look at the many successful people who averaged in school, but achieved more than their peers.
These successful people, for sure, in addition to school, were looking for a favorite thing, broadened their horizons, learned to build relationships with people and just enjoyed life. This helped them no less than a confident knowledge of chemistry and biology.
And to worry less about the future of the child, you can learn more about current trends and those skills that will be in demand in the future and help the child to succeed in life. You can think together about how to help the child develop the necessary skills.
It also happens that parents transfer their unfulfilled ambitions to the child. It is bad if the parent determines the degree of success of his offspring. This is especially true when mom and dad are not happy with their lives.
And then you need to learn to separate your desires and successes from the desires and successes of your child. This separation is the key to understanding many experiences. And if the family trusts, then it is not difficult to get to the truth.
And if high schooler 90% of free time is spent on scrupulous homework, giving up other joys of life and even sleep. Fearing to upset parents with a bad mark, a student can live in constant tension and fear, which will adversely affect his sleep, well-being and health.
Focus on learning will narrow the range of interests of the child – he will simply not have enough time for everything else. Even asking for help around the house or taking a walk with the dog can be painful, because it takes such valuable time. And are the years of such torment worth the cherished certificate of honor, which gives nothing but a reason to brag before acquaintances?
