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How often do you need to contact adult children?
Children grow up and leave their parents’ home. At this point, everyone needs time to communicate with offspring. Some parents are so worried about this situation that they call 100 times a day. This causes annoyance in teenagers, and conversations become more and more burdensome.
Other parents, on the contrary, are immersed in their worries. Mom and dad try not to push the child, which actually looks like they are indifferent. Because of this, children may feel unwanted and lack attention.
Somewhere between these two extremes you can find a middle ground. Everything has to be balanced. Of course, each family has its own format of communication, but how to define it? We rarely take as a guide what is considered the norm. Therefore, the editors of the Site conducted a small survey among children and parents. Today we will talk about how often we need to call up.
Most of the parents said that it is optimal to call two or three times a week. Children also note this frequency as the most comfortable. However, for some teenagers, a call a week would be enough. Also, adult children are more interested in the presence of common topics and the opportunity to talk on an equal footing.
Parents are embarrassed by the word “need.” It carries some kind of control. It seems to me that you should call adult children when you miss them and just want to talk. On the other hand, for some parents, “when you miss it” is every day. This is most often a burden on children.”
“Every three or four days we call, exchange messages and write off. Every day is now in quarantine.””
“My son and I call once a week. That's if everything goes smoothly. He's busy with his own business, I'm not stopping him from working. If there is a need to discuss something, more often.”
It all depends on the progress of the parents. My conversation with my mother is a daily call. How are you, is everything okay - a couple of minutes maximum? I talk to my dad once a week or two. Both are not very talkative.”
“I call often because we are friends. Every day. I talk to my mom when I walk my dog. We discuss series, books, clothes, lectures or books. I think that not all people have such parents, on the same wavelength as children.”
“Not every day, exactly. This is perceived as a kind of pressure and an attempt at remote control. Nor is it too rare for there to be a sense of complete loss of communication and formal contacts.”
Generation Z is not just called digital. Our children prefer messages rather than calls. In addition, some easier to communicate in the format of audio messages, the rest prefer correspondence in messengers.
“Easier to write. Children are modern and do not like to communicate with their voices. The text is simpler, you can answer at a convenient time, and not when another person wants it from you, as in the case of a call. I don’t like voice messages either – I have to listen to something I can read in 5-10 seconds.
We have messages on Telegram during the day in a shared chat with mom and sister. I am comfortable in this mode - I made sure that the family is fine, I learned the news, but without formal, empty chatter.
Families who live in the same city prefer to communicate live and visit each other at least once a month. In one evening, you can talk more than a week through chat messages.
Also important is not only the frequency of calls, but also time. Choose a comfortable time to communicate. Don’t call during work hours or on Saturday nights when people spend time with friends. In addition, the agreed time for communication helps to tune in to the right way. It also reduces the risk of falling out when people get “under the hot hand.”
The better the relationship is built, the easier it is to agree on communication. The majority of respondents also believe that “everything should come from both sides.” Do not be afraid to take the initiative – both parents and children. Take care of your children, be an example to them, and try to be true friends. After all, it strengthens trust between people and helps to establish communication.
Other parents, on the contrary, are immersed in their worries. Mom and dad try not to push the child, which actually looks like they are indifferent. Because of this, children may feel unwanted and lack attention.
Somewhere between these two extremes you can find a middle ground. Everything has to be balanced. Of course, each family has its own format of communication, but how to define it? We rarely take as a guide what is considered the norm. Therefore, the editors of the Site conducted a small survey among children and parents. Today we will talk about how often we need to call up.
Most of the parents said that it is optimal to call two or three times a week. Children also note this frequency as the most comfortable. However, for some teenagers, a call a week would be enough. Also, adult children are more interested in the presence of common topics and the opportunity to talk on an equal footing.
Parents are embarrassed by the word “need.” It carries some kind of control. It seems to me that you should call adult children when you miss them and just want to talk. On the other hand, for some parents, “when you miss it” is every day. This is most often a burden on children.”
“Every three or four days we call, exchange messages and write off. Every day is now in quarantine.””
“My son and I call once a week. That's if everything goes smoothly. He's busy with his own business, I'm not stopping him from working. If there is a need to discuss something, more often.”
It all depends on the progress of the parents. My conversation with my mother is a daily call. How are you, is everything okay - a couple of minutes maximum? I talk to my dad once a week or two. Both are not very talkative.”
“I call often because we are friends. Every day. I talk to my mom when I walk my dog. We discuss series, books, clothes, lectures or books. I think that not all people have such parents, on the same wavelength as children.”
“Not every day, exactly. This is perceived as a kind of pressure and an attempt at remote control. Nor is it too rare for there to be a sense of complete loss of communication and formal contacts.”
Generation Z is not just called digital. Our children prefer messages rather than calls. In addition, some easier to communicate in the format of audio messages, the rest prefer correspondence in messengers.
“Easier to write. Children are modern and do not like to communicate with their voices. The text is simpler, you can answer at a convenient time, and not when another person wants it from you, as in the case of a call. I don’t like voice messages either – I have to listen to something I can read in 5-10 seconds.
We have messages on Telegram during the day in a shared chat with mom and sister. I am comfortable in this mode - I made sure that the family is fine, I learned the news, but without formal, empty chatter.
Families who live in the same city prefer to communicate live and visit each other at least once a month. In one evening, you can talk more than a week through chat messages.
Also important is not only the frequency of calls, but also time. Choose a comfortable time to communicate. Don’t call during work hours or on Saturday nights when people spend time with friends. In addition, the agreed time for communication helps to tune in to the right way. It also reduces the risk of falling out when people get “under the hot hand.”
The better the relationship is built, the easier it is to agree on communication. The majority of respondents also believe that “everything should come from both sides.” Do not be afraid to take the initiative – both parents and children. Take care of your children, be an example to them, and try to be true friends. After all, it strengthens trust between people and helps to establish communication.
