Recently, a lot of attention has been paid to preparing a child for school. Therefore, loving mothers and fathers carefully analyze.
Pros and cons of kindergartenLooking for the best option for your child.
Why is kindergarten, the benefits of which until recently no one doubted, criticized today? What are the opponents of the kindergarten system and does it really harm the child? Parents will be interested to know the rationale for such an unusual view.
Pros and cons of kindergarten “I will say a seditious thing, but it is necessary.” The fact is that children need to communicate less with children. It is better if children communicate under the supervision of an adult who is not only present, but also regulates communication, says psychologist and specialist in child-parent relations Alexander Kolmanovsky.
“Without adult intervention, children immediately develop an animal-based competitive relationship: the first is the best. In such a system, everyone loses. After all, a child learns for life that success is to push everyone with their elbows.”
“If two children get candy, they will immediately start a conflict. An adult can split the candy in half or even take it away, promising that he will soon buy a whole bunch of candy for everyone. If two children get a bicycle, then there will be a dispute. An adult can solve the problem, for example, advising that Masha go to the pole, and after the pole – Pasha, explains the specialist.
According to Kolmanovsky, the problem of kindergartens is that they do not fight competition between children, but exploit it. As a result, when a child loses something to his peer, he is sadly looking for what he is superior in.
“Yes, children in kindergarten are more socialized. But that’s not the kind of socialization you dream of. Homeless people are socialized too, but is that what parents want? ?
What do we do? The expert admits that not all parents have the opportunity to hire a babysitter. But you can study with a child yourself, lead to circles, instill a love of reading. Such education will give more than a normal kindergarten. Of course, it is easier to get rid of the child for the whole day and do your own business. But how will it backfire in the future?
When I had a baby myself and shared the joy with my first teacher, she said something that I would remember forever. “Turn as you like, but don’t give your child to kindergarten. The gap between children who come to school from family and those who come from kindergarten is huge. As the first calm and persevering, so the second twitched and neurotic, says the psychologist.
Alexander Kolmanovsky believes that the main thing for the real life success of a child is not his reading or knowledge of languages, but unconditional acceptance by parents. And the more the child was scolded and praised, the more they said what he deserved and what he did not deserve, the more he will listen to everyone, but not to himself.
If the garden is inevitable, then choose the lesser of evils. How to choose? To do this, Kolmanovsky advises the same principle as when choosing a school: “The main thing is that the teacher or teacher be as kind an aunt as possible.”
“It should be remembered that the child receives the trauma not so much from the bad attitude of others as from the indifference of parents. It is bad when mom and dad do not take into account the experiences of the baby, with his fear. And that fear will only grow stronger. The child's complaints must therefore be heard, heard and reacted to.”
The specialist believes that his task is to warn parents between what they choose. After all, a child may go to kindergarten and get problems, or may not go, which will lead to difficulties for mom and dad today, but years later the child will be healthier psychologically.