Why parents should not find out about the relationship with the child

Many parents are used to finding out the relationship in the presence of a child. Most likely, they think that the children are still young and do not understand what is happening. Or they generally believe that quarrels with children are quite normal. Editorial "Site" I dug deeper to bring this issue to the surface. We'll talk about that. Why parents should not find out about the relationship with the child.



Children, like sponges, absorb everything they see. Negative family quarrels can leave a mark on the mind of the child and affect his future life. Also, because of scandals, children’s pulse and stress levels increase, which, of course, has a bad effect on their health.

The brain of a child perceives a quarrel between parents as a threat. It then creates a standard response to negativity. Because of this, the child can withdraw into himself, withdraw, show aggression or panic.



Children unconsciously take the side of one of the parents in a quarrel. Mom says dad is "bad" and vice versa. The kid has to make his own choices. This causes him to “get involved” in the conflict.



The division of parents into good and bad prevents the harmonious development of the child’s personality. For girls, switching to the mother’s side can affect relationships with men. It will be difficult for her to trust the guys and it will seem that they are all traitors. For boys, the opposition to the father can be a consequence of the fact that the son will grow up according to the “counterscript” – not wanting to be like the father. He will be afraid to repeat the mistakes of the father, which is very bad for the development of the child.



When children witness a quarrel, they may interpret it in their own way and decide that parents are fighting over them. Therefore, it is better to explain to the child the cause of the conflict. Even if the relationship falls apart and you plan to break up with your partner, you need to explain it to your children. And no matter how old the child is, find the right words and say it as it is, so that the child does not blame himself for what is happening.



Psychologists say that children read everything that happens in the family. Therefore, if a conflict is brewing in the family, it is better to resolve it as soon as possible. Or postpone the investigation until the children are not there. Any quarrel or scandal cause children a feeling of increased anxiety, which can negatively affect the psyche of the child. Also, do not pretend that nothing is happening – children will feel anxious and anxious.



Problems such as enuresis, nightmares, stuttering, isolation or autoaggression are all symptoms of what is happening in the family. Parents often turn to psychologists for help, but ignore their problems with their partner. You have to be a good example for your children.



It is worth remembering that our relationships affect the behavior of our children. Parents should not fight in front of their children. Let your relationship be harmonious and full of love for the child and each other.