The high price of premature maturation

Price of premature maturing

Distillation — farming techniques used to produce flowers, vegetables or fruits in season for plants. It is not necessary to aim for very early forcing. The later it is, the more abundant will be flowering. And any plant after distillation should be a holiday. (excerpts from a textbook on horticulture)

Premature maturation is one of the most adaptive responses of the child on the lack of security, care and empathy.





"I can do everything myself! I can handle it! I don't need anyone!" solution, protecting from the pain of loneliness, misunderstanding, anxiety and fear.

In the pursuit of autonomy is discarded all that does not have time to adapt to rapid growth. And it was not in vain. I think it's like a distillation of crocuses to the New year. They really start to bloom in December, but they have a little strength and stability. And here.

All is good, and the life of these children is usually quite possible (especially if you look at it from the side).

Still, after so much effort applied to being self-sufficient. Than have to pay depends.

Often – rigid or bleak personal relationships. Sverhzaryadnogo and blunted emotions (the intellect is much easier to grow at an accelerated pace).

It may be unexpected for all, "as if a sudden" breakdown. Or regularly returning anguish. In the best case — only a nagging feeling that something very important was missing.

That life could be much fuller, louder and brighter. But it is rather big price. But when such people come into therapy, they are incredibly difficult.

Because they need to go back. Find the parts of yourself that were discarded because I could not and did not want to grow up quick.





For this you need to allow yourself to be next to a child with another adult. And it is very difficult. Because they are adults and experience myself as a child — demeaning. And because they feel their latent, carefully concealed in need of rest and trust. And very afraid that if I allow myself to relax, there is nothing and will never make them move, and all the gains will be lost. But of course most of all they fear a repeat of what was experienced in childhood. That they trust, and they will again be hurt.Not a good life they have become once those, "who can do everything by himself, and who doesn't need anybody". It was just the best way. published

 

Author: Natalia Dikova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/tsena_prezhdevremennogo_vzrosleniya/