In the beginning was the word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... through him All things were made that was made. In him was life...Jn., Chapter 1, article 1-4.
I like these verses from John's gospel. They recorded how we live. Before to do something, we first need to think, to create the project. Then you should check whether the project meets our nature, social and economic laws, rules of the hostel, etc.
In animals everything is easier. The wolf did not need to think. The pig reading books and not necessarily even desirable. Thinks for them the instinct that dictates to them any behavior. The animal digs a burrow, a bird makes a nest, a bee builds a honeycomb, without prior preparation of the plan. Instinct will tell them and the shape of the house and place of construction, and depth and height of it.People first have to be though inferior, but still a project at home.
But if he wants to build a good house, he should be a good project to coordinate it with the architectural control, to find workers, tools, etc. will also be taken to protect homes from storms, thieves, groundwater, etc. If there is no corresponding material, physical and other grounds, has postponed the construction of the house, as if he wanted to. It acts on the mind and emotions don't pay any attention. And so in any case.But the passion to disregard the impossible
. Because, ultimately, the whole culture of our aim to best satisfy our instincts. And man lives primarily by feelings. As a matter of the mind to organize them, so that then, especially to think it was not necessary. When the man embarks on any business venture, he ponders, makes some calculations, and if something is not glued, it does not organize this enterprise, otherwise it will go bankrupt.When a person builds a family where a controlling stake for sex, and by-product are children, it is more subject to its violent and disorganized emotions that drown out the voice of reason.
That's why family, the most difficult undertaking, where in a tangle merged material factors, instincts, feelings, social problems, and more, is the most precarious enterprise, which often suffers when the first bankruptcy case of force majeure, for example the birth of a child.This event many of our parents to be surprised
, as snow in early winter our public services. Parents are often totally unprepared for such expected and, as it turns out, a completely unexpected event. Of course, the family must build people who love each other, but before you build a family, they must seek permission from their king to the marriage, and if such approval is obtained, in a good way. Who is this king? It is our intellect. And what did he say to us?He says that has the right to marry a man who can feed himself, his wife and children to emerge from this marriage. A woman has the right to marriage if she can feed themselves, children, and husband if something unexpected happens.
When creating any business we need an office (in this case flat), the start-up capital and a skilled workforce.What we actually have. As a rule, in the first marriage the young people come, none of this having.
So cannot withstand a storm the ship, completely equipped for sailing in the stormy ocean of our lives. As a rule, young people, to build a family, have an apartment, equity and sustainable earnings. In addition, we must also be able to raise children who will appear. Of course, if they have the means to hire good teachers, and if they will be able to find in our country, it is possible to learn this art. But I know that many building a family there is no free money, no flat, and raise children they do not know.
We have a paradoxical situation. The education of children of early age, when the foundations of personality, we do not have any education
. Further qualification of teachers increases, reaches a peak at faculties of improvement of the specialists. To allow the surgeon to the patient, his ten years teaching at the school, then six years at the Institute and up to five or six years at different cycles of specialization and advanced training.To the emerging gentle souls child allowed unskilled Amateurs, not even aware that they do not know how to educate, but rather to shape the character of the child.
The child still has a chance to grow a decent personality, if parents are not too climb in his upbringing. The tree, if we let it, grows even. But this is extremely rare.
Suppose the young man has learned to raise children. But now we need to compile the project, because it is clear that, like any business, the education of children should begin with the project, i.e. from strategy. First, decide what quality of product (child) you need. Only the choice of the material is not all in your power. So, half of the building material (genetic Fund) gives one parent, the second half — another.With the first half of you can't do anything. What is, this is. But to pick up the second half of the source material you can.
Something can be done at random. Here you can help our youth. Yet science can not accurately determine the status of the gene set. Therefore it is necessary to be guided by external criteria by which to judge what genes your partner is right for you.
It needs to be, above all, as we have said, physically healthy, economically independent and spiritually developed person. Then you can, with known probability, to say that genetic set it all right. The importance of physical health needs no justification. Economic independence is necessary and in order to be sure that your half loves you. If she is financially dependent on you, then she really does not like. Can not immature people to love in principle.
But spiritual maturity implies the ability to raise a child. A spiritually Mature person can be characterized as a high-class professional, with a system of values and belief that determine the direction of his actions.
Only spiritually Mature people can adequately educate your child. We should remember our nature.
Man is not born a man. He is born as a monkey who can become a man. I apologize for some sharpness of expression, but it is a scientific fact. We belong to the order primates. And this monkey can become a man, if there is an example with subtancial system of values and behavior.It should be remembered that in the first years of life brings an example, not words.
If you can not take their cue from their parents, children look for it on the side, and not always find what they are useful and necessary. Still, when choosing a partner must not in any case be limited to the mind. Moreover, it is important to rely on feelings. If no feelings, it is not necessary to build a house called "family".
Anger is ALWAYS a token of something IMPORTANT!Relationship check: Thanks and move on However, if the mind does not authorize actions, it is better to abandon the project.
We must remember the instructions of A. Schopenhauer, that "the final aim of all love troubles, whether they are played on the comic stage or on the contours of the tragedy that is truly more important than other goals of human life. That is: what are love Affairs, it is neither more nor less, as the creation of the next generations." published
Author: Michael Litvak