Children's lies: What's behind the mask of deception

Each of us one way or another suffered from cheating, and myself, to be Frank, not once cheated or deceived.

There are professional scammers and con artists, pathological liars, unscrupulous manufacturers and sellers. Their unrighteous actions are described and laid out on shelves; invented and interpreted detailed instructions on how to counter cheaters. Main advice – be careful, vigilant and cautious!

What hurts the most hurts the lies of a loved one, especially your own child. Here only one instruction is not enough, needed deep introspection. If, as psychologists say, cheating is a way out of difficult situations, the blame for the cheating both sides: those who cheat and those who cheat.

Consider the examples.

  • Child admits that he broke a Cup, blames less on the cat, on draught. — It is not easy to tell the truth the perfectionist, blowing off the furniture every speck of dust, satirises the slightest speck, tracking the order throughout.
  • Child cleans a mark in the diary, pulling out a sheet of paper with record about his misconduct. – Parents expect too much of him, demanding obedience in all matters, without any discounts for age, without taking into account its own interests and needs.
  • The child hides the fact of his first loves, first dates, under the guise of meeting with friends. – He got used to the fact that parents do not trust his choice in relationships with people who are subjected to "revisions" friendship with peers (with whom you can be friends with and who – not).
  • Child refers to a fatigue or headache when the parents noticed his sad mood. He doesn't want to share their troubles, for fear of the overly emotional reaction: tears, a heart attack. Maybe the fact that immediately begins to criticize: "He is guilty! How many times have warned you... You never listen!". Or worse – will dismiss his problems, considering them trivial: "As we have already got all your stuff!".
  • A child caught in a lie, defending, being cheeky: "And you did not kidding?!". And parents can't deny that in the presence of the child: discussing the departed roommate that talked affably; come up with a reason not to invite someone to family reunion; shared joy, turning a small mess of real estate...

Life is complicated, all the trouble will not escape. So help your child get rid of the need to cheat, at least own parents:

- "broken Cup" is not glued, but there is an opportunity to reconsider its position – "housing for people or for the people of the flats"; learn how to adequately respond to events;

- "school mark" is not an indication of the collapse of your hopes; things can change for the better, if the time to fix a failure in studies;

- "first love" leaves a bright trace in the memory of man; often, it affects his heart's affections in the future in two ways: it can inspire or make cynical. That is why it is so important that the child wanted to open up to parents and to trust their wisdom. The choice is up to the child, the task of parents – the delicate adjustment of his behavior under the influence of friends;

"the ability to sense the state" of the child, to experience with him the failure rate of art to love; for now it is important for him is his sense, and not as worried parents. We have a situation in which it is appropriate to show altruism, pushing his emotions and feelings on the backburner;

- and it is clearly unfair to condemn the dishonesty of the child, which takes the example of the adults of the household "on a mirror necha to expostulate, if face is crooked". Always follow the purity and morality of their actions, if you want to educate your child a decent and respectable person. Keep in mind that child – intuitionist because of their age, in the naive simplicity is hidden the certainty of exposing your duplicity. And the natural pattern of imitation and makes you responsible for his deceit and stealth.


Also interesting: "You're not our son!" — about those who were raised "Stivali"

7 mistakes of parents in conflict with children


"Lie to me easy – I delude myself happy" — often parents build illusions about their children, the correctness of their educational methods, their way of life and accept the lie at face value (or pretend to create an illusion of happiness). They hate to hear the truth, they are afraid to destroy their world. You have to make a choice: bitter truth or sweet lie. The first one makes us stronger, and the second lulls. From time to time! published


Author: Lyudmyla Andrievska


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©



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