The 7 most common sins in communicating with others

Specialist in sound Julian Treasure calls 7 reasons why we don't listen when we speak. And also tells how to change the situation.

The website offers to adopt his advice, and acquire the ability to attract the attention of the interlocutors, whoever and whatever you said.







Habits that should be disposed of in conversation, Julian calls the seven deadly sins of communication. They are to some extent inherent in each of us.

Gossip speaking ill of someone not here right now, is a bad habit. You and your partner know: the one who gossips with us, five minutes later will be gossiping about us.

Condemnation If you are prone to critical judgment and often speak negatively, be prepared that your partner will feel the tension in the conversation with you. Relaxed difficult to talk with those who tomorrow may condemn you.







Negativity Negativity is contagious. It is difficult to speak with someone who speaks about everything bad. Julian leads the dialogue with his mother, which in recent years has become very negative. "I remember once in conversation with her I said,"Today, October 1". She said,"I Know, isn't it awful?""

Dogmatism does Not want to talk with someone who thinks once and for all approved truths, who can not be persuaded. Such a person is not able to perceive new information in a conversation rough mixes facts and opinions, and it is very tiring.







Whining Whining is a virus that is able to cover the whole country. We are unhappy with the policy, weather, prices, roads, transport, the rules of the school and kindergarten, quality products, sports achievements of the national team, the number of hours in the day... it's Time to stop.

Excuses to justify themselves — then blame it on someone else. We should not blame all around, but would not be held responsible for their actions. The problem cannot be solved, when its existence meets another man. Only by taking matters into their own hands and changing their behavior to achieve results.







Exaggeration Exaggeration impoverish our speech. When words everything becomes "super awesome" and "SuperCool", it looks like a lie, and the one who lies, no trust. And usually, in fact, is just super awesome good, and SuperCool, and all can be some nonsense.







Julian calls the 4 basic principles that make our speech convincing and define what we're talking about.

Authenticity does Not play the role of someone you're not. The lie will come out sooner or later. Authenticity is the epitome of "its own truth". Be yourself. Respect the partner, but don't hide your own opinion.







Sincerity Be truthful, straightforward and clear. Show your emotions and say what you feel. The only way to build effective communication.

Love wants people to goodness. Love balances honesty (honestly say: "Oh my God, you look disgusting today" — this is certainly overkill, but to ask about the health of the can).







Honesty Is not mean to cut a plain truth to everyone. To be honest it's to keep his word and do what he had promised. It is important to be someone you can trust.







Register We prefer men with low voices and don't like owners falsetto, because the depth of the voice is associated with power and authority. It is proved that for politicians with a low voice more likely to vote in the election. The voice can be changed within the register — when we speak in the nose, our voice sounds high when roaming sound in the throat (so says most of us), it is below, if you want to give your words weight, we need to lower the sound in your chest.

Timbre Timbre is, how is our voice. The study showed that we prefer deep, rich, warm, like hot chocolate, voices (a male with a deep voice have on average more children, as the like to more women). And even if your voice is not like this, it is possible to train.







Prosody Is a combination of stress, tone and intonation, which allows you to highlight important places and to avoid monotony. Those who speak all on one note, it is difficult to perceive. Julian advises to work with a specialist in speech to speak more expressive.

The tempo is Too fast rate of speech prevents the listeners to understand the things that you're talking too slow can make them sleep or be annoying. For those who want to learn to speak effectively, it is important to be able to change the rate of speech depending on the situation: when you want to make an important accent, you will need to temporarily slow down and pronounce important in the sense of the idea clearly and slowly.







Volume Some people broadcast without interruption, forcing his speech to all around. Then how can you draw attention to the fact that you want to say in a low voice almost to whisper.

Silence Pause is a sign of mastery. Pause you will notice that will say more. There is nothing wrong with a little quiet, do not need to fill the silence with parasites like "uh-uh" and "hmm". Silence can be very strong.

Source TED
Photos on the preview Antena 3 Films


See also
How to gain confidence: 6 stories of great people
Speak correctly!
15 things can be done much easier than we used to


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