Parents are the closest people, because they gave us life. We have the strongest emotional connections that remain with us throughout life attitude of joy, pain, expectations and disappointments. At the same time, we share unresolved questions of power and control that existed and will always exist. Today, however, there are additional reasons why the relationship between adult children and parents are growing more difficult.
- Contemporary families have fewer children, respectively, above the expectations. In a normal family of the last century there were six or eight children. If the relationship is one of them with his parents was not easy, and the other moved away from family nest, all the other children stayed with their parents. Today, when families only one or two children, bad relationship with them can destroy the parent-child relationship.
- Life expectancy has increased significantly. This means that the relationship between an adult son or daughter with their parents continue for a much longer period.
- In the current system values the family is not Central and is not as important as it was before. Care families are low-priority arguments, if any, are taken into account in decision-making, whereas in the past families lived in the same community, were involved in a joint operation and life of the parish.
- A huge increase in the number of divorces has exacerbated the weakening of family relationships. While often eager communication not only between mother and father, but also between parents and children who felt unimportant, neglected by parents under the rubble of a marriage.
Given the characteristics of the time, it is important to be able to preserve, and sometimes to try to re-build these relationships. After all both parties – parents and adult children – are interested in a comfortable and sincere, warm and effective communication. For adult children it is their basis to ensure the integrity of identity, their roots, the wisdom of which helps to maintain the health and mental stability. And for parents of adult children – the fruits of their life, their love and pride, support and sometimes communication with the outside world.
Communication primarily should be based on the principle of “adult-adult” common to all Mature individuals from a position of understanding, mutual respect and mutual acceptance.
Parents should take the maturity of an adult son or daughter as a fait accompli and to build new relations on an equal footing. Loosen the control, to “remove the mantle of a judge” and to show the utmost respect and confidence in the personality of a loved one. Please remember that adult children need Your emotional support and acceptance, as many years ago. Adult children must first try to free themselves from the burden of teenage resentment, and to move away from the exaggerated expectations of childhood. Your parents are not supermen who are required to be perfect, it's just people with their own advantages and disadvantages. The ability to make imperfect parents – is the basis of adult love daughter or son. Be aware of the fact that parents feel the need to communicate with You, even if sometimes this is expressed in strange from Your point of view actions.
In the case of imminent conflict and fathers and children need to accept the fact that the need for constructive discussion of issues, equivalent to resolving the problems from both sides to preserve the main value – a sincere emotional connection in the present and the future.