Why, sometimes, so hard to love yourself? We all know that if we fail to do so, and no one else will come to mind to love us.
And really, if a person has given up, so this attitude he was quite satisfied, and more from others he does not pretend. But to realize the necessity of self-love is one thing, but how to bring thoughts into reality is another, much more difficult question.
Why are all our habits of berating yourself? Why do we get into this vicious circle, from which then can not find the exit?
Of course, the problems begin in childhood. The child takes in information through its surrounding adults. To determine what's good or bad, the baby is not. He only knows that he just is, just exists. Parents are the conduits through which the child begins to understand something about yourself. And if the parents give the child enough attention, communicate with him, praise and help him, it paves the way for the development of a positive image "I". I'm good! If adults do not pay enough attention to their child and often do not approve of his behavior, the child is unlikely to have self-esteem. Even if the adults in their criticism guided solely by good intentions, it does not bring good fruit. For example: "look, Peter has already read the syllables, and you still can't learn!". Maybe mom or dad wanted the child paid more attention to study, has become more persistent in achieving their goals, learned to overcome obstacles? But the son or daughter hears something like this: "I'm worse than Petit. And to become a better Petit, to be loved mom and dad, I have to learn to read." Thus, children learn to understand that their love for something. Because he already knows how to tie shoelaces, hold a pencil etc. But most of the child's achievements overlooked, and in the center of attention of the get failures.
What happens is that the girls are highly inflated. This is due to the fact that the parents have already decided to raise a genius. Child loaded a daunting responsibility to be good for mom and dad too much he needs... And make their own lessons, and to always obey and wash the dishes, and many other things. Of course, to cope with the burden, the baby is just not able to. Sometimes you want to take a walk and forget about everything! Receiving another rebuke, the child understands, that does not justify entrusted to him expectations, and what its like? So there is a feeling of guilt and low self-esteem.
But to love a child you just so! Just because he is, and that is happiness. Sometimes parents are afraid to flatter the children, but in practice is rather the opposite. Of course, indulge in permissiveness is not worth it, it's the other extreme. The child must understand that you are unhappy with some of his act, for example, broke a vase, but not by him. He is always to you need to stay favorite.
Already at children's age can distinguish children with self-esteem and low. Representatives of self-esteem is easier to establish contacts, more open-hearted, active and not afraid to take the initiative, because it is not punished! Kids with low self-esteem, on the contrary, stiffness, clamped, dialogue they are given is harder, and they take offense easier.
Love your children for who they are, praise them for their achievements and tolerant attitude towards mistakes. And maybe you were just a child yourself, which lacked the warmth of mom and dad? Then do not repeat their mistakes and let your children feel the unconditional parental love.