With cats better not mess! ))

Of the 14 years of his life polusibirsky chubby cat named Drunen slept 13. This in no way means that Drunen was, for instance, lethargy or a child bitten by a carrier of sleeping sickness tsetse fly. Health from wool was all "Sehr Gut" squared. Even on the day of his death Drunen streskal carcass pollock without longing and melancholy, after the then walked peacefully with a smile on his face thick. Biological clock cat stopped, not shaken nor his appetite or his life, to the disgrace of horizontal positions.
 But life in Drunen was not always quiet. About two or three times disturbed. And once polusibirsky record for sleep has given us to understand that it is - a predator. And so that better ... But in order!
 The day Drunen as always slept under the blanket on the bed, where he traditionally climbed, pushing forward his muzzle nose first and then everything else. Under the veil Drunen folded into a torus and, confident that no one sees, he slept until a slight feeling of hunger. It is about two hours - three. Then the animal was chosen out stomp into the kitchen and absorb favorite and constant dish - cooked pollock. Nothing else the cat did not recognize. For all the feline directories appeared that on such a diet polusibiryak had to suffer the most severe deficiency diseases with failure of internal organs and hair loss. But years passed, and the phenomenon was just gaining weight and luchilsya health. Of the hundreds of dishes offered to him he once agreed to try only the fresh green grass. Having established that, we, at times, brought him to a small street snopiki. Sometimes he chewed them.
 Sometimes not. Such are the mysteries of digestion.
... A dream Drunen heard some the iron, the glass sounds. This father of the family decided to look after the aquarium. Clink, gurgling and babbling coming from the next room, not allowed to rest shaggy. In the end, the cat finally woke up, went to the kitchen and ate gourmet pollock and returned, determined to change the place for a variety of maturation. The fact that it had two. One, as I have already said - under the blanket on the big bed in the bedroom. Second - in the hall, on the huge color television, where it was warm. Next to it is an aquarium, and a little further away - the sofa. The first 5-6 years of life Drunen jump directly from the floor to the TV. But after a couple of times did not deter his claws on a slippery plastic, it began to act differently. On the floor was jumping on the couch, the couch in the tank, the top covered with glass, and with the tank already on TV.
 When the tomcat came into the room, he certainly did not know that the transparent fish from above the tub is now undisguised. Grumbled, half asleep Drunen climbed lazily on the couch, I sat down, scratched his ear, jumped on the aquarium and ... failed!
 The father is just absent, retiring to the bathroom to brush toy castle. Long and selflessly put in order the owner of the scenery. He came out happy, doshagal to the hall we can say happy, and even came back in a good mood. But the fact that the owner saw his shocked! Couch was all filled with water on the floor yawned half dead goldfish aquarium water was - nothing, and all around lay torn in pieces of algae. Even at the tender shtorinu stuck vallisneria slowly tack. The first thing that occurred to the owner - a blast of water in the aquarium. The second, no less idiotic explanation was space-time anomaly.
 In fact, the aforementioned anomaly sat under the couch - neither alive nor dead. A wet and became for a while the benefits of feline anatomy, Drunen painfully trying to figure out - what, after all, happened. Well, jumped on the glass chest ... a hundred times did. Then everything vaguely ...
 Splash, disgusting water in the nose, a burning desire to break all to pieces, and immediately save himself. Feet slid claws frustrated, but eventually broke free kotyara, displacing more than half of his precious body of water, and the rest - spilling with animals.
 Drunen with great difficulty pulled out from under the couch, wiped, dry and put to sleep under the covers. Grumbled sufferer calmed down.
 Output, of course, was thoroughly spoiled. But it all turned out flowers, the family because my mom decided to go in the evening to her friend, and when she opened the door, I saw on the threshold of a charming kitten. I tossed him or he came - and could not figure out.
 Maman - woman sentimental, but not very clever. Why it occurred to her to introduce barely calmed down Drunen with feline baby - it is unknown. At the time, it just dried cat walked glumly have the best food in the world - pollock cooked without salt.
 - Drunen, come here, look a kitty!
 Of course, you've seen all the cat fights ... Wool on end, eyes floodlights, hellish hiss and splayed in all directions claws! But this - the theater. Social, ie, a conflict that requires an immediate exit. So to build a pyramid relations. But in this case, when the pyramid need!
 When it is not needed, the animals kill each other without warning and without a theater. Phlegmatic Drunen in two jumps predolel long corridor bend under him the kitten and began to bite off his head. No sound polusibirsky killer is not published. He did it in silence. However, the kitten screaming because I do not want to be a headless horseman. Yelled obscenities good mum because frightened. And I cried, of course, the father, when he came to ask - well it is going.
 Kitten at the time, did the only thing I could do - completely emptied your bowels. Cat sticky puddle of diarrhea, two mortal enemies instantly smeared across the corridor. The owner Drunen grabbed by the scruff and pulled it up. Clutching a stranglehold cat did not even think to release the intruder. Second hand host grabbed the kitten and began to pull him out of the teeth of the murderer. We managed it twice in the third, and all sides sprinkled blood and diarrhea. Rescued kitten thank did not instantly jumped to the floor and ... not rushed to the exit, but in a completely opposite direction - into the room. Drunen from such impudence was furious and hurt because the biped bipedal, kotyara immediately:
 1. raspolosovat his stomach;
 2. sank his teeth into the wrist;
 3. And when the father yelled and opened his hand - broke and ran for the kitten.
 Maman of the same family to vote, without ceasing. Polusibirskoe monster ran around the room for a bloody, bad-smelling lump, knocking a vase, spilling shelves of books and other valuable items. The owner, armed with a broom, chasing both of them, hissing like a cat. Finally, the hard-orient kitten escaped into the hallway and lightning disappeared in the doorway forever.
 If you think that this all ended - then you are wrong. Next Drunen started violently and abundantly labeled with the apartment, meter by meter, abundant watering all the angles and projections urine. I go to him and did not dare to stop disgrace anybody. Within minutes flat zablagouhala as the most infamous cellar in the world.
 Closed died. Midnight rubbed powders and other detergents entire apartment. Bandage host. Watered valerian mistress. Throw away spoiled and broken things. All the while, the rooms went hairdo like a hedgehog Drunen and uterine growled, looking bastard. Wool predator stood on end, and do not fall off even three days.
 The father otbolelo two and a half months, one month had to be in the hospital. The hand was swollen from the fingertips to the shoulder like a loaf of Istanbul. The doctor said - you were lucky, a feline in the mouth flora deadly. Better to be a hundred times scratched than once bitten.
 The story ends here. Now, therefore, morality.
 Never assume your pet harmless! Especially those who sleep 23 hours a day!


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