The trust of the child and the parents Bashny.Net

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фото:kizie.com

This article is about the creation of the trust.

Children are very sociable and can easily adapt to their surroundings. They have the ability to attract adults that meets their needs, and forming with them a strong emotional relationship, which in one word can be called "affections".

Since its birth, the children always Express their needs. A hungry child feels tension and discomfort and starts to cry. Similarly, he cries when he needs his diaper changed, when it is cold or hot, when he is tired or overexcited.

After a child is satisfied, he relaxes and feels comfortable as long as it won't be a new need – e.g. the need for parents again changed his diaper.

At least meet the "sounded" needs, the child develops a sense of trust and attachment to the person who meets these requirements.

This cycle – "excitement/calm" is repeated many times throughout life. Whenever we have one or another need, we Express, and someone meets it, we have a sense of attachment to this person. Over time, we begin to believe that this person will continue to meet our needs and take care of us. And that person becomes the authority, a friend, who want to be parents to their children.

The adult world for the child is big and frightening. To develop, a child needs a sense of safety, stability, permanence. That is why psychologists are asked to make a routine, set rules in the family (for children and for parents). All this creates a clear space and clear rights and responsibilities. This gives the child a sense of calm and security.

Many now say, "I can't sit next to the child." Yes, parents can't and don't need every second to be there (otherwise how will the child learn to be independent). But to provide the child with the confidence that you're there at the right time – it is your responsibility as parents. Determine with him the rules and to ensure consistency – it is your responsibility as parents.

If you're only temporary, and casual (even joyful, but impermanent) phenomenon in your child's life, he will find someone who will be in his life time. But then it won't be you. If your child can share their successes, sorrows, feelings only when convenient to you, then he will find another adult who will be there when convenient for the child. And it won't be you. How to listen to and support of the child is the subject of a separate article. But when you will be able to provide the child with consistency, be sure your credibility will be formed.  published 

P. Maria

Source: karpachoff.com