In parenting, we often overestimate our capabilities. We think that we can guarantee baby's future, you can protect him from all misfortunes, can cure him, to give him a happy life.
And we often come to disappointment. The children of rich parents, who for the sake of children and tried, often leading a prudent life. Children who received "correct and money" education, often change it all on a completely "hopeless" class. But the inheritance that children receive, often not only makes them happy but also completely destroys, leaving through his fingers.
In this case we underestimate the power of the Lord and spiritual practice. We do not know how for their children to pray, and preferred instead of the defensive set to give them into the hands of the Mace, instead of spiritual education is to provide them with diplomas of the lawyer, instead of a temple on weekends, go to movies and entertainment centres. As if to protect their children can only ourselves.
Forty nine million six hundred fifty six thousand four hundred ninety one
To cure or to beg?Our oldest son of three years was diagnosed with autism. Autism is not treated in our reality. We were offered and the specials-the boarding pass it, and give birth to a "healthy", and not to touch it once again, and accept the fact that he will grow a vegetable. Today he was almost nine. Those who don't know anything about the diagnosis may not even notice anything unusual. And doctors are now saying that time everything passed, so there was no autism. Because it is not treated.
But we have the people who knew him then and see him now. And one of our experts once said to me:
"Look at you, I understand that there is a God. You child just begged for it. Before, when I told someone that will treat autistic love or prayers, I grinned. Not believe. Because it is impossible. But I look at it, and also begin to believe. Because otherwise this could not happen.»
I believe her. She had seen hundreds, thousands of children with autism in different ways and stages. She knows what he's talking about. And although she's the best specialist in Russia, she admits that even she could not achieve such results.
Another highly skilled specialist also told us that it is a miracle, and this is impossible. What any one person would do something like this. Autistic can be taught to communicate, you can teach skills. But to get him to want to live and communicate – it is impossible. And in our case – it happened.
I don't want to brag and not ascribe all the merit to us. On the contrary, I want to say that we did nothing ourselves. All the therapy that we tried, gave a temporary effect or is absolutely not the result we expected. During the year, Danya worked from dawn to dusk and one, and another, and third. And progress has been minimal. And then we went to his long journey, leaving all therapies and classes in the past. Feared rollback and that nothing will change. But he suddenly started to change on eyes. Today is a completely different person.
All this would be impossible if we did not pray. I'm really confident that we begged him. When we first came to India, in all churches, in all the Holy places, I only asked for one. My dream and my pain was only in our eldest son. We visited many different temples. We were and Xenia of Petersburg and Matrona, we passed notes with friends on the wailing wall in Israel, we regularly ordered the service for him. And all my prayers were somehow about him. Taking ablution in the Holy water, I prayed for his health. Doing charity work in one form or another – fruit mentally gave him. Wishing all happiness, again thought of him.
In the days when I felt disappointment when he had setbacks, when I was tired of living with a special child, I prayed again. Prayed, prayed, prayed. For him, about him. The only thing that gave me solace.
Only it restored my strength. Nothing helped. And then one day, during prayer, I realized something else very important to me. What makes it even easier.
Children in the hands of Bogaboga I cease to perceive the child as his when I know he's not just a person with their lessons and destiny, but also a child of God, it changes things. I'm not going to make super-efforts. Because it will not change anything. I'm not going to live like I'm the only hope for his salvation – as it did not like my ego. Then I can relax and allow it to be yourself, to live simply and to your experience. I cease to perceive his illness as my own cross, my curse, my karma, my personal measure of "defectiveness".
I'm starting to realize that there is someone who actually keeps it. In any situation that he protect my child, not me. You can call this guarding force, a guardian angel, just God. I'm just an instrument in His hands, and not so obedient as I would like. I that scalpel during surgery is willful attempt to manage the process and take all the credit. That's just the scalpel does not see the whole picture. He sees only what is directly in front of him. How does he do the operation correctly without damaging anything extra?
And so with his constant desire "to do something with the child," commits millions of unnecessary actions that are sometimes have the opposite effect. Because I think I think I help, I do, from me all depends.
But no matter how it was bitter – I'm not dependent on anything. Neither his fate nor his future, nor his health, nor his character. Then what to do? Just relax and stay just a tool. To be obedient to what happens. To let things happen through me.
It is not meant "to fold their hands and do nothing". I just trust the world and no longer child to torment all sorts of therapies, the same dolphins or horses, speech therapists, psychologists. And gradually he began to open up. He found opportunities to do what his body needs.
For example, we recommend breathing exercises. This is very useful for the brain, but with these children it is often by force. Yes, something to hide, almost all of them are done by force. We are unable. I shed tears and abandoned the idea. There was also an idea to teach him how to dive – as forced, – but here my heart did not agree. And the glory of God.
Because suddenly in his travels, he began to dive. Himself. And every time I tried to dive deeper and for a longer time. He could do this all day, from morning till evening, without the external pressure. And in fact – this is the same breathing exercises, which is so essential to him. He dived and dived, he was getting better and better, he again dived. And this is just one example – the same "self" everything was decided and other important things for him – massage, development of fine motor skills, drawing, writing…
God is in the heart of every living being. He had a mission, Embassy, you name it. And this means that in his heart already has everything he needs. The stronger its connection with your own heart, the easier the child will live, to feel that it is important and useful, and to follow this urge.
When I realized that I was powerless, that I itself is nothing that I can't do anything for my son, it has shown me limitless possibilities of prayer.
Prayers that helped not only my son but also myself – to cope with emotions, worries and fears. And who knows, one of us is needed and who brought more benefit.
Prayer for the kids in every religion such prayer is, and most often they are addressed to another woman – for example, the mother of God. There are protective prayers for children, prayers for their future, destiny and so on.
In all traditions and cultures the mother was reading the same prayers, moods, protective mantras. And over sleeping kids, and before you release them somewhere – even to school, and especially during his illness, in a difficult period of life, when suddenly her heart was filled with anxiety. This was the main duty of the mother – listen to your heart and time to make such important rituals.
You can find ready words pass through my heart. Because even the reading of such prayers – heal. First and foremost our hearts. Wounded heart to warm others can not. All his strength directed into your wounds, your pain. And until it heals, will not last, you will not be able to give something different.
You can pray your own words. Will share what I usually have in my prayer for the children. Although this is an intimate affair, but if that can help you.
1. Gratitude. Thank you, Lord, for what you gave me our children.How about something to ask, if you do not recognize what has been given? And how can you discount the value of such a divine event as the birth of a child? For it thank you forever. So many women wonder about this dream, waiting for hope, and I have been given. This pleases me every day. My little sun, my treasure, which is actually not mine. They are children of God, and I am only their temporary helper and protector in this world.
2. Help me to change!Our prayers are often simply "Give me" give me health, husband brains and money, the children – five in the diary. But then what is it so special? Who wants to it all the time people came with outstretched hands, who do not want to change, and see the causes of their troubles only to others?
Try to pray that the Lord changed your heart. You to become more tolerant of the whims of children have learned to see them as individuals, learned to trust, learned to help them grow and to know when to punish and how to do it better.
Believe me, when we change our heart, and changing the world. And our children – they all feel it is better to change our hearts, like little thermometers, quickly respond to our personal transformation.
Often the problems a child is more than a signal for us that we need something to change. The faster we see, understand and change, the faster you can solve the problem that bothers us. However, not always it is solved exactly as we wanted it.
3. Protect my children from the inside, from their serdecnaya is different, but in my opinion the best one that comes from within. When children feel themselves what is good, what is bad, what is possible, what not. And this is exactly what can give them the Lord of their hearts. Give them a reason for making the right decisions, the strength to find one's own way, sustainability in the daily strife, wisdom, purity, love.
If it is – everything else is scary. All the excess then passes by and does not stick. And all that is necessary – will be drawn and will grow.
There is a saying: "If God is with you, why do you care? And if he is not with you, then what are you hoping for?". That's how I see the main in the upbringing of children. If God will be with them, then what's the point in worrying.
4. Let me be the tool in your rukanda me, this means first of all acceptance. The adoption of their features, their destiny, their lesson. An acceptance of the fact that they came into this world exactly and precisely with these objectives. Don't resist what can not change. And to help that depend on me.
I'm just a tool, and I better learn to be an obedient tool to hear God in your heart, to see God in their eyes and to learn to follow this call.
Not to go there, where I was not invited, don't try to write their ink lives of their children with whom they live, whom to love, what to do, what faith to practice, where to live and how. The instrument is also know their place and not aspire to more, destroying in its path all around.
5. These are Your children. Thank you for what you entrusted them to me!When someone leaves their children under supervision for a few hours or days – as we are with them? More gently than with her? Or less? We usually try to give them more attention and care so that they do not suffer from separation from their parents, and their parents had no reason to be angry with us. Really?
With your can be simpler. And you can yell and slap, and call, and ignore. But if we understand that it is not our children? If we can feel that we are just Trustees, hands of God with these souls? Would it change our attitude to them, our behavior?
I'm sure that's true. Therefore, in their prayers inwardly, I return to that feeling. I did not create their souls and their bodies. I was just a conduit for them in this world. I'm like a foster parent whose rights are not so many, but more responsibilities, and demand from it more severely.
Prayer is an intimate affair. Try practicing, and you will certainly appear your vision, find your words, images. And be sure to have the first results.
I am convinced that prayer is the only painless way of changing relationships with children.
And the older the children, the more for them is just pray, instead of preach, to punish, to blame, to shame, and everything else.
There are still Stormy omartian the book "the Power of parental prayer," and she is "praying for adult children". In them you can find ready-made templates of prayers on different occasions.
And don't think it nonsense, or myths. Don't devalue what you can't see with our eyes. See heart, and you will see how much the parent prayer. And to preserve, protect, and change.published
Author: Olga Valyaeva, from the book "destiny to be a mother»