"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within us, in our way of thinking."
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners that allow our soul to blossom."
Circumstances can certainly make life miserable. But a part — a big part — of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behaviour and habits.
In this article, Henrik Edberg, author of the Positivity Blog talks about the 7 most destructive daily habits that can create a lot of unhappiness in our little inner world.
He also shares techniques that will help overcome them or, at least, to minimize their impact on your life.1. The pursuit of excellence.
Should the life to be perfect, you felt true happiness?
You have to behave perfectly and get only excellent results to be happy?
Then happiness will not be easy to find. Striving for perfection leads to lowered self-esteem and self lynching, though, perhaps, you have already achieved great results in his career. What would you do, everything goes wrong (but it's only in your mind). In fact, it may be best for you.How to overcome this habit:
Three things that helped me overcome perfectionism and finally relax:Do good, but not perfect.
Aiming for perfection usually throws the project half way. He uses imperfection as an excuse. "I can't do it perfectly, so will not do at all". Instead, go to the end and you will see how well this sort of thing.Deadline.
For each task I set a deadline. Because about a year ago when I was working on my second e-book, I realized that just working on it without extreme deadlines, I can accomplish nothing. So I had to set a deadline. The deadline gave me the kick in the ass, and it is usually a good way, which will save you from having to Polish their work to perfection, which is not so easy to achieve.... Realize how it will affect you the myths about perfection.
This was a very compelling reason for me to abandon perfectionism and I remind myself of that every time in the mind emerge thinking about achieving perfection.
The whole world around only speaks of perfection, as it is simple and wonderful. But in real life it clashes with reality and, as a rule, cause much suffering and stress within you and in others around us. It can harm or possibly lead you to the end of a relationship, dismissal, etc. only because your expectations were not met.2. Life in the sea of negative voices.
We are not inclined to loneliness. Those with whom we communicate, what we read and listen to has on us, on our feelings and thinking, a tremendous impact.
But to be happy becomes much more difficult when you start to listen to the negativity. They are the voices that tell you that life is pretty much always unhappy, dangerous and filled with fear and limitations. The voices that watch life from a negative point of view.How to overcome this habit:Replace the negative voice with a positive.
This will have a powerful influence, in fact, opens up a new world.
Spend more time with positive people, read good books and listen to fun music. Do anything that makes you laugh.You can start small.
For example, every morning to read some inspiring blog or listen to an interesting audio book, instead of watching the news on TV or reading the newspaper.3. Are you fixated on the past or future.
Spending most of his time in the past and reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities, and so forth, you harm yourself in the present.
Spending most of his time in the future and imagining how things can go wrong in work, in your relationships and with your health, you build up horrific scenarios in my head which lead to a corresponding result. No you don't live real, you lose sight of the many things that can bring to your life true happiness.How to overcome this habit:
It is almost impossible not to think about the past or the future. And this, of course, it is important to plan for tomorrow and next year and try to learn from your past.
But looping is rarely helpful.So try to focus on that particular point today
. Just be here and now.
I focus on what I'm doing in full, not drifting between the present and the future or the present and past.
If I feel that my mind escapes into another dimension, I take a few deep breaths, bringing themselves to real life.4. Comparing yourself and your life with other people.
Extremely destructive habit is comparing myself to other people. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And, in the end, you trample your self-esteem into the dirt, causing a lot of negative feelings.How to overcome this habit:
Replace this destructive habit other two:Compare yourself with yourself.
This means that instead of comparing yourself with other people, start to compare yourself with them in the past. Compare what you have achieved and reached for a certain period of time, as he perfected himself in appearance, his status, etc. Why fixate on other people when all you can focus on yourself.Please.
In my experience, the way you behave towards others has a huge effect on how you feel about yourself. The more you criticize other people, the more you are prone to self-criticism (often almost automatically). Be kind to others, help them and you usually will become more good and useful.5. Focusing on the negative
Seeing the negative aspects in all situations in which you are and focusing on them, you make yourself miserable. Besides, spoil the mood of everyone around you.How to overcome this habit:
Overcoming this habit can be harder than it seems. The only thing that helped me, is to get rid of your perfectionism. You will start to recognize that every situation has two sides of the coin, soybeans are the pros and cons. You will start seeing things for what they are. Thus, you will be able to let go emotionally and mentally, all of that is negative for your life, instead of making mountains out of molehills.
This issue can be approached from a constructive point of view. Ask yourself:
Can you turn a negative into a positive aspects?
Can I solve this problem?
If Yes, then everything is fine, why worry. If not, then why be upset, because you cannot change anything because you need to move forward and move on.6. Limiting life because you believe that the world revolves around you.
If you think that the world revolves around you and worried about what people say about you, you put your life in a huge insurmountable limits. How?
Shyness and secrecy from the outside world do not allow you to fully develop. People don't always want to hurt you, is the one category that truly takes care of you and experiencing.How to overcome this habit:
Understand that people often do not much care about your actions. They have plenty of their own Affairs, about which they are concerned. Perhaps you feel your role is less important, but it will open doors to a new world of consciousness and understanding of reality, it will help you to expand your limits. Focus on the outside world. Instead of thinking about yourself and how people perceive you, focus on them. Listen to them and help. This will help you to raise your self-esteem and move away from concentration on his own person.7. The complication of life.
Life can be quite challenging. It can create tension and discontent. But much of this is often created by us. Yes, the world is becoming more complex, but this does not mean that we cannot create new habits that will help to simplify our lives.How to overcome this habit:There are many aspects, which man complicates his life.
Man is torn between a bunch of tasks in everyday life. Set a few tasks and make their quality throughout the day, instead of having to grasp at all, not leading to the end.The presence of too many things.
I replaced that habit by routinely asking yourself: I used it last year? If not, give that thing or throw it away.The complication of relations with other people
. To read the thoughts of hard. So, start to ask questions and chat. This will help you to minimize unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, and negativity, keeping your nerves and energy.The Internet.
Going to the social. network, people lost it for a few hours, at least. Because you take the habit, check all that you think is necessary in the shortest possible time and get out there.published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki