A few skills of parents of independent children or those parents whose children are able to solve their problems.
My approach to parenting has changed, thanks to one revelation. One day my husband recalled his childhood: "Every time we asked my father the meaning of any words, he took the dictionary and offered to read it together." Remember the Bible parable? "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will eat forever."
Seventeen million six hundred nine thousand seven hundred ninety
Here are a few skills parents whose children are able to solve their problems:
1. Parents of independent children stand behind them to solve the problem together, not instead of the child
Educate children so that they could cope with the problem without assistance.
2. Parents of independent children asking questions no less than offer ready-made answers
Asking questions on the nature of the problem, you accustom the child to find solutions instead of getting upset and waiting for outside help.
The following questions we use in our family:
- What do you think now is not the way I would like?
- What can we do to change the situation?
- If we can improve your idea?
- Why do you think this man did?
- It was a manifestation of love? Maybe it was insane?
- How did you feel after the decision?
- What can you change in a similar situation in the future?
The answers that man alone finds in the depth of their feelings, always wiser than formulaic standards imposed on other people.
3. Parents of independent children make critical comments in entertainment
Instead of lecturing and to forbid something, it is much better to reflect with the child on the theme of good and evil, reading a book together or playing out the situation with the help of favorite toys. Often it looks like you offer the child to develop moral and ethical strategy by separating conflict from the personality of the child with the fictional plot.
4. Parents of independent children allow them to learn from their mistakes, despite the fact that it is unpleasant
When I was a child I had much to endure from an English teacher. Parents with compassion listened to my grievances, each time coaxing me to continue my studies. By the end of the year, I not only knew English as well as could not learn elsewhere, but have become even more important knowledge in the field of interpersonal relations.
A few years ago my husband was tempted to pick up the child from soccer because of the bad coach. But we decided to continue training, determined to pray for this person. We understand that our child will meet many difficult people in his way and he needs to be able to communicate with them. We wanted to keep the baby developed intuition, tolerance and judgment, while we have the opportunity to pass these tests with him.
5. Parents of independent children does not protect them from punishment, which naturally followed the unreasonable actions
Everyone needs to learn to correct the results of their mistakes.
6. Parents of independent children patiently accept their failures
In order for a child to learn to find their own innovative solutions, it is important to protect it from judgments. Is it possible to create something new, never made a mistake? The child must understand that making mistakes is normal. Parents it needs to reorient its focus on mistakes and shortcomings on the ability to find new, more effective solutions.
7. Parents of independent children gradually excluded from the problem, allowing the child to assume greater responsibility
Children are not only able to find a suitable route, to choose a menu or closet, they can be good advisors in our adult problems. When we trust them, they learn to trust themselves. A sense of responsibility, ability to collaborate and leadership qualities are formed in childhood. Despite the fact that we ourselves sometimes lack them, we can help this child.published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki