Two poles: the Arrogance and self-doubt

Arrogance is the sort of shamelessness and insolence brash cocky bordering on rudeness.

Sometimes audacity has a positive connotation, when the emphasis is on confidence in the actions performed, and not on their arrogance.

In our time, the self-doubt is often contrasted with a "positive" arrogance. We talked about self-doubt, fear of decisive action and changes in life. In this way the overcoming of fear — it's not even arrogance, but rather is the awareness of what is happening when it becomes clear that the fears are groundless and make no sense. It is no opposition. However, the modern "confident" people are often bogged down between the opposing "arrogance" and "lack of confidence" in their abilities, then find themselves on one pole of this antagonism, on the other.

Let's try to understand the essence of these phenomena.





Take, for example, a usual situation when, at the entrance to the work installed checkpoint. For example, several times in the past you've forgotten your pass, and the guard, violating the Charter, you missed because was in your position," because he knows that you really are working here. You have grown accustomed to the loyalty of the local security services. But, recently, a new guard, arrogant, severe face and unfriendly. And so, the next time you happen to absent-mindedness. Pass left of the house, you look with a smile at the guard, I apologize, but he waved his head, they say, and speech can not be! They have their own rules! Flirting with the guard to nothing lead. He doesn't care what you have to go home for a pass, and then write "explanatory". And this time it may be "adequate" sense of irritation.

What's really going on? Whether in this situation, irritation at the "arrogance" is justified?

In such situations, to free yourself from the painful reaction, it is essential to understand THAT the head of its participants. As a rule, have enough understanding of the causes of an external stimulus. If the apparent reason is the behavior of the guard, so it is necessary to analyze this apparent reason. Why the guard showed arrogance? Because the bastard? It is not an external cause, but a personal subjective reaction. Let's talk about external causes.

The guard can be annoyingly meticulous simply because they are afraid of punishment in consequence of violations of the Charter. Easy to understand person who is afraid. Fear can be an external concern, or something of a "righteous" anger. But even this level of understanding external cause can save the anger aimed at the startled guard.

Can be annoying and inappropriate stupidity" – they say, "you can not be so fool to be created because of unfounded fears problems to others!". If You believe that fear of the guard due to his limited understanding of the situation, it is necessary to understand exactly what the person is afraid of. It ("vain") may be afraid to lose a job, or fears that the reprimand of his superiors will force him to endure humiliation, and even greater fear. Here the relationship between action and its cause is simple enough to understand. It is easy to understand the fear. When a person is afraid, he suffers. Difficult to understand the audacity.

To understand the audacity it needs to be decomposed into easier to understand components. As already mentioned, arrogance and self-doubt – these are the two poles. Basically, it's two sides of the same coin, one and the same phenomenon. Squirt is insecure. And below this lack of confidence to compensate, to prove to yourself that things are different, insecure man begins to show arrogance. He himself does not know, and therefore seeking confirmation from external sources. His sense of self-importance makes the search for confirmation of this "importance" in the outside world, the way react to it surrounding.

Another squirt to make sure that he's an "important" man, can this in order to humiliate another person, or kick the door of his own wardrobe, which suddenly stood in the way of "important" people. Squirt is asserting itself, because he is afraid to relive the humiliation. A person shows arrogance to maintain their self-esteem, to prove to himself that he was important!

Perhaps an example of arrogance and insecurity at the checkpoint – not the most significant. Examples can be any, the situation on the roads, in queues, in the section "production" etc. everyone in life can be your own examples, depending on the experience and data in the subconscious. Figuratively speaking, when there are two insolent, it resembles the meeting of two young bulls, who can not diverge on a narrow path.

When arrogance meets wisdom, is like a beginner karate-bully incites experienced, black belt. Experienced can consciously give in, to show flexibility, because he's already sure of himself, he doesn't need external confirmation of his power, which are so essential for a beginner. Big smart dog is calm, and a little mutt barking at all passers-by.

When the "power" rests on the weakness of others is a worthless power. True strength – to be able to stand his ground, to fight back as an equal, but not to do it under the influence of self-affirmation. A strong man won't pressure until the situation does not require it. Well – it's not a crusade against the "infidels". Good is stronger than evil not because, "who won, and good." Good is wisdom, understanding consequences, understanding yourself and your true needs. No one should want violence with all my heart. Audacity is a distorted and incomplete understanding of their own nature. Good is stronger than evil, because good people come to know the futility of evil.

It may seem that in this article, the arrogance and self-doubt criticism. The only goal that I'm really chasing here – showing this psychic mechanism on the verbal level. Ideally, it is worth remembering that as arrogance, and a lack of confidence is superficial, it's the duality, the mental illusion, which expends more energy. The arrogance and self-doubt, short – sighted "advisors". Their leadership leads to painful extremes and misconceptions. Without arrogance and insecurity remains more energy and clarity to make informed decisions.

To forgive another person, stop being annoyed when there is a deep, clear understanding of his actions. Especially annoying us really, that something that lives in us. We annoying arrogance of another person, because we ourselves can't reveal this quality. The audacity of the "other" person is a projection of our own quality on the external reality. A stranger is unacceptable arrogance is our own arrogance that personal inner censor rudely shoved into the storeroom of the unconscious. And now it breaks out in the form of pissed of the stimulus.

In other words, we do not allow someone else's arrogance just because he banned her. To be insolent is not "bad." As long as is kept depressed arrogance, useful, practical and moderately to release it to the surface in the form of appropriate "confidence". Then, someone else's audacity will not cause envy and irritation. That is already more deep work on a personal internal level.

In the end, it all comes down to fear of the ego. Fear insecure insolent to forgive easier than audacity. We are all still learning. Ego is stable in dynamic equilibrium. Ego – structure, which is constantly flowing, changing and adds new "strokes". Therefore, ego is in constant search for new supports. This structure is never "enough", it always "little". Ego is in constant search for external evidence of its prosperity. But even at this level achievable relative calm, when a person frees himself from the polarity of insecure arrogance.

 

Also interesting: What to do if the husband is insolent

How to deal with rudeness, not stooping to it

 

To harmonize and eliminate the specific fears can fit in the analysis of the situation, an example of which is given in this article. To eliminate the fear completely, you must know yourself, your true higher self. It is a spiritual enlightenment, Buddhahood. A sincere aspiration for this can teach a lot. But here I will not advise "enlightened" and meditation. Each balances the life most effectively the "tools" that are available at this stage.published

 

© Igor Satorin

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: progressman.ru/2011/01/insolence/

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