You buy 20 cans of pea porridge, you go into the woods, open, throw in the den. If the bear is obtuse (90%), all at once he eats. If intelligent (10%) - will ask from someone snapping, you say, "Greenpeace" or "United Russia", had no more questions. You sit quietly at the den, waiting for when it's there until you're blue isperditsya. Once near the den snowdrop first wither - thrown into the den of the match. Good pieces scraped from the trees, are carried away. Or running away from the burning bear as lucky.
You buy a bag of salt, go solish grass everywhere. Hare nazhretsya, begins to run at the watering hole. Take notice of its path, it is placed on the mousetrap. Hare with a mousetrap on the leg runs more slowly, with two mousetraps hardly walk, with three sitting crying, with his free hand shows that surrenders. You come up, put him fourth, tie the hands of the ears, talking about home. House shows him the oven. If dumb bunny (70% of cases), then go to him and the road. If intelligent (30%) - that you will dance around the Christmas tree and knock the legs into the drum, as necessary. Then give a carrot, release. Or in the oven. If bad dancing around the Christmas tree.
You buy a ticket, go to the zoo, there is the very large cage - an elephant. It is one hundred percent of the intelligent, besides hunt where it can not be. So pretend that you look. A clever elephant pretends he do not care. And shit. Spectators gone and him go clean the cage. When it opened, he runs and tries to trample you. You quickly shit, he slips and falls. Crap elephant with a black eight square meters of no value to the zoo is not. Lays claim to category C - and it's yours.
You buy the biggest, which you will find, pants with duckling. Nailing them to stick with it and come out the flag in the field. When ducks fly up, you wave, bowed, and his hands are showing "VELCOM". Ducks all utterly stupid, one hundred percent of the people think that they are here stopover for repairs and refueling. How will land - hiding the flag and turns, such as "take it back". At leader immediately appear to you questions, and he was the fattest pair of ducks come to you to understand. Required. In the melee duck - schmuck.
You buy at the flea market horn is attached strings, come to the forest, wear, do languid face. If miscalculated, and they have now rut, then you fucked in the best case, worst - and even your full face tear-stained beyond recognition zalizhut salty. If you have a quiet period, then take to the stage with a probation period of a day. For that you have to gnaw seven trees, cross the road "KAMAZ" and carry a hundred meters of telephone cable. Now you moose, do you believe in, and to sell to them the idea to go to the village to chew the woodpile - do not figure. Clever little moose, five to six percent, even less literate, so the words "hunting farm" on the house they do not frighten. There was a trifle - to disrupt the horns stuck in the ground and shout, "Oh, you bitch !!!" Those who rode away - free. Who got stuck in the fence - yours.