Was there Snowden? Sensational stuff!

While the world discusses the desire of Edward Snowden to stay in Russia for good, in the press leaked the sensational photos of mysteries of his personality.
Spestsluzhby US took unprecedented action - "leaked" information about his double agent. And all this in order to return Snowden back to the US.
Americans gave openly negligent agent understand that in Russia it is waiting for the same fate as that of the US - the punishment for spying for the enemy.
It got us into the hands of the alleged "report" American agents tracking, dated July 25, 2013. Judging by the fact that everything described in it has a certain literary style - "journalistic investigation", as well as the absence in it of any dialogue, there is reason to assume that this is not all the information about the "reality Snowden."





"Snowden. Exposing ».
As it turned out - Edward Snowden - not Snowden, and Edward K. Snigirёv, born in 1973 born in Zaporozhye (SSR) - Captain SVR.
In 1996, while on vacation in Alupka (Ukraine), he met a student of 1st course Construction College Anna Chapman (aka Paul Sudoplёtova, she Maxim Isaev). Chapman was an agent-trainee SVR (underground nickname "Breivik"), which Snigirёva recruited as a secret agent.
After several months of working together to expose the subversive underground center "Mossad" Crimean Majlis, Chapman entered into an intimate relationship with his agent Snigirёvym (agent nicknamed "Assange") and soon (1997), they moved in the suburban town Elektrougli where at the moment It was a secret training center SVR. There they were married.



A year later their family was born a son, whom they named in honor of his immediate supervisor - Vovochka. While Snigirёv learned the skills of espionage, Chapman was on maternity leave, while studying English and encryption. But to get out of it, she immediately got a new special secret mission - the introduction of an employee of the analytical department of «MI-8MT» British intelligence «MI-6" in London. Son had to leave his mother Chapman - in Kharkov, and the most dangerous job on the fly. Snigirёv very worried about this, because it is not known how long it will last their separation.



A year later, Chapman pereverbuet CIA to work in the newly opened department «Intellgence StartUp», worked for the "Pentagon". Her task was to seek out advanced information technology. One of them later turned out to be a "FaceSock." On the instructions of the RAF Chapman managed to introduce in his native code malicious virus Russian «VK». Then came spyware product on the consumer market with the name «FakeBook».
Two years later, he graduated with honors Snigirёv courses espionage and sabotage, and was promoted to first lieutenant SVR. Due to his outstanding abilities, Snigirёv was introduced to the department of technical intelligence and disinformation. In foreign internship he was summoned to the Department of testimony from Fryazino.
After a successful internship in Brussels, London and Chisinau, Snigirёv asked the management to send him a particularly important task, in Langley, Virginia, USA, to infiltrate the headquarters of the CIA under the guise of a network administrator. The administration has met proactive agent. However, had a rejuvenating plastic surgery, because sex change Snigirёv strongly disagreed. According to legend, he was a computer "nerd" who loves to break network servers players have recently appeared on the market a computer game «Counter-Strike». It is intended by the SVR leadership was to attract the attention of US intelligence.
Two weeks later, on Sept. 10, 2001 Snigirёv, under the name of Edward Snowden has joined the staff of one of the secret NSA contracting companies in the junior beta tester latest at the time the computer program - Aviation simulator «Boeing-737".
The same evening, Snowden someone called a secret telephone number and assign it the next morning to meet in a cafe in Brooklyn. We had to urgently fly to New York.
Around 7:00 am September 11, 2001 at the Snowden met with a senior agent of the SVR, working undercover in one of the karaoke bars "Little Odessa".
Coming out of the subway, Snowden still some time walking on the Brooklyn, looking him right address: 615 Brighton Beach Ave, Brooklyn NY - it was a cafe "Frying Pan".
The password for the meeting was ordered by the bartender beer "Baltika-9," the agent review - order a glass of beer "Sarmat-Alcohol." Looking around at the sides, and making sure that there is no shadowing him, Snowden looked around the room cafe. Despite the early morning, the hall was already quite a lot of visitors. Among them, he quickly figured out the right person to him. Dressed he was in black leather biker jacket and leather pants tucked into high-heeled shoes. Judging from the surrounding public, a rather flashy outfit, quite fit into this interior. Estimated agent went to the bar and ordered a loud "Baltika-9." The bartender quickly poured him a full glass of beer and instinctively handed it to him. He quickly picked up his glass and returned to his stand, began to drink slowly.
Snowden threw his alleged liaison quick look professional and also went to the bartender. Ordering a "review" - "Sarmat-Alcohol" Snowden looked again. Finally, he was handed a beer. Stepping back to his front, he stood with his back to the agent, but it is perfectly seen in the reflection of their spy glasses type "Rambler-Glass." It was a mock spy glasses based on the latest Russian design "Eye-to-Eye", which could be projected onto the inner surface of the lens reflection of everything that is happening behind. At the nano-technology screen permanently lit the inscription: «object in mirror are closer than they appear».



After finishing his beer each, both agents are passed along to the lavatory with a sign "only for gays and immigrants." There Snowden gave him a flash card with 8 MB of stolen NSA program of aviation simulator. Agent thanked him and, having put the flash drive in his pocket, he said quietly, that he would immediately returned back to Langley, but not by plane, train and, as there may be unforeseen flight delays due to failure of the dispatching services Airport. Kennedy.
Agents came out of the dressing room in turn. By the time the door was about a long queue of fans «The Village People» and Willy Tokarev. They watched with interest at this strange couple who quickly left the cafe without paying for the beer drunk.
Outdoor Agent playfully jumped on standing at the curb, "Harley Davidson" and quickly launch powerful engine pulled from the place down the street, leaving a strip of black asphalt rubber. Snowden quickly lost it in a stream of yellow taxis.
This turned out to be an agent immediate supervisor Snigirёva - Vladimir Vladimirovich fellow, do the same as he, plastic surgery for rejuvenation. Due to the special importance of the task, he personally took over the operation.
A moment later, the bartender ran out of the cafe and visitors Snowden back to reality. After a short debate had to pay for the beer and give "a tip." Cash, which he singled out for such purposes as early as printing SVR.
Gesture by stopping a passing car yellow, Snowden got into it and went in the direction of Grand Central Terminal. Two hours later two huge «Boeing-737" crashed into those "Twin Towers." The job was completed successfully. Since traces of Snowden's long lost in the silence of a secret department of computer firms working with the US secret services.

On the morning of June 26, 2010 Snowden from the source of the RAF received a coded call, he reported that his wife - Anna Chapman was arrested because she had made a super-coded call its source from the FBI, but it by no understandable reasons, while immediately arrested .
After nine years of successful espionage work for the benefit of a resurgent Russia and the United States to the detriment of rotting, it was the first failure of Snowden. He recalled that on the eve has developed and tested a new spy computer program that allows you to monitor and decode over-coded phone calls. This program helps to identify spies. Carried away by the work, Snowden made a serious professional error. He confused the program codes. In the right place put the "plus" instead of "minus" and the program began to calculate their own Russian agents instead of American.
His mistake Snowden revealed the whole chain of agents of CBP are embedded in the FBI for many years. For it turned out to be small consolation is the fact that his wife had a loving, albeit official communication among the FBI agents. But the RAF does not forgive mistakes. Now Snowden had only one thing - to go into the service of the enemy.
An hour later, Snowden has told Special Agent Smith about his links with the Russian secret services and the reasons for the transition to the side of their American counterparts. As a mitigating circumstance, he gave them his secret spy program, through which and led the "expose" the whole chain of agents of his new enemy.
After months of interrogations and hearings, Snowden decided to bring the work to develop tracking systems and listening to everyone and everywhere. And because it is very difficult and secret work, it had to be transferred to a separate laboratory. Away from sin. In any case, it was assigned to the "beholder" - an agent nicknamed "Father Snowden." It was old and looks very silly man. But looks were deceiving. This seemingly senile old man possessed great strength and agility, reached in "Tetris" to level 23.
By becoming an unwitting traitor, longing for her mentally crushed Snowden, and the betrayal of the beloved he choked him physically. All the rest of my life will be held "under the hood" in a totalitarian and mired in all the sins of America.
After two years of hard work on the enemy, Snowden has finally created a super-program, which was able to listen to and view any electronic information. From the CCTV cameras in the Bronx to the noise in the deep space. Run the program in test mode Snowden, yielding to the temptation to nostalgic decided "on trial" to listen to a telephone conversation between the two schoolgirls Kemerovo. They enthusiastically discussed some new television show on the Russian TV channel "Horseradish-TV." The next moment he heard the name of Snowden master - Anna Chapman!
After spending almost two years in information isolation, forced him to the NSA arranged locked in the laboratory at a depth of 400 meters under the ground, Edward Snowden only just found out about what is happening on planet Earth. He realized that all these two years, he was obsessed with only one thing - information about his wife and about his homeland. Inspired by this victory, he decided to keep his discovery a secret and did not tell the American chiefs of readiness of the program. But also I began secretly from them to collect information about the American intelligence services. Especially for Black in the White House.
Snowden at night, hiding from the agent "Father Snowden" still patronize it looked transmission with Anna Chapman and longingly watched as her lips are moving. A thought struck him: he will bring her own, and along with the trust of fellow service. He decided to collect secret documents "Pentagon", NSA, CIA, FBI, Congress and the US government about their contacts with extraterrestrial civilizations. All he could find - stunned him. It turned out that since 1947 the United States are cooperating with the aliens with the constellation Orion.
But while he was looking for evidence about aliens, Anna Chapman began keeping a section of the Illuminati, and later on the paranormal, time travel, predictions and other precise scientific topics. I had to do the work in these areas.
Finally, when a series of programs "Reanalnost" Anna Chapman came to an end and the season ended, Snowden decided to escape, after hiding in a safe place floppy classified information and compromising on the United States and its vassals - the Dominican Republic and the Vatican City.
But it needed an excuse to get out of a closed laboratory to the surface. To do this, Snowden had to report to their supervisors that the program, which he wrote two years running and demonstrate it in action. Overhearing a conversation about some Doreofee at the summit G8, accompanied by the heads of 45 analysts, linguists were satisfied and allowed Snowden to the surface, take a breath of fresh air to the whole five minutes. Under the escort agent "Father Snowden» Snowden raised to the surface of the inner courtyard of the American Lubyanka. The last floppy disk with secret documents - correspondence Beria with the Martians, Snowden has not had time to pass through the Internet channel in a safe place reliable people. I had to hide it in a "secret location" in itself. Now Snowden was hard to walk around the yard of the Lubyanka secret US - the pain with every step surrendered at the bottom of the back. But it was necessary to be patient and wait for an agent, "Father Snowden" and other guards turned away to the next moment using secretly assembled the micro-switch to turn off the alarm and open the electric gate. It was tucked away in the same "secret place" and nano-technology trans-injector, drive a car in the distance. He has developed his drawings, from a secret film about robots.
Finally, tired of watching not naturally limp on both legs Snowden, the guards began to yawn until gape. At this point he took out a "secret place" micro-switch and nano-technology trans-injector. Unnoticed by clicking on the button, he turned off the alarm, the gate of the inner court of the American Lubyanka opened and entered the courtyard old black pickup "Toyota" with the word "clinic for pets." Quickly leaping at him, Snowden drown the gas pedal to the floor and instantly left the gates of the US Lubyanka. Behind the shots were fired guards. But Snowden gone. After all, it has long been thought out plan his escape through Hong Kong to Russia to his beloved Anna Chapman and his supervisor and mentor - Vladimir Vladimirovich Edinovertsevu.
After many troubles in the capsule at the transit area of ​​the airport "Sheremetyevo" they met. So far, only a Edinovertsevym Snowden. They embraced like old faithful friends. Snowden, shed tears of surging emotions, was again the most Edik Snigirёvym. Unable to contain the accumulated feelings and subconscious streams, he put all the passwords, secret, rates and access codes stolen from the cursed Americans archives. Almost all. Except that he wanted to give Anna Chapman for her new show "Unreal reality." He hoped that she would be delighted doubly from such a meeting with him, years later.
Fellow, drunk with Snigirёvym "for the meeting," a bottle of "Baltika-9", left, promising to hide it from the CIA in the Naro-Fominsk camp for fugitive American spies №456. Unfortunately, in Moscow itself all camps for American deserters were already overcrowded. And while Edinovertsevu need to settle a number of diplomatic and legal formalities. Not only is there more in Moscow "Gas Forum" began - to go direct.
Snigirёv was alone in the cockpit capsule close, staring at the empty beer bottles. After a few minutes in the stomach and in the intestine and then something rumbled. Abdomen painfully swell. I wanted to use the toilet. Still, the native Russian beer unaccustomed microflora perceived unfriendly. Affect years supply the best food in the world - the US, which does not deteriorate over the years.
Even in the gut was relentless struggle of the two systems. Hardly entered the cramped WC, Snigirёv lightning took off his pants and has already sent the contents of the jump in the rectum into the toilet. For a long time he felt such relief. Only a true patriot of Russia, visiting a foreign country, may well spoil deliriously at home (home). Pressing the drain Snigirёv began to wipe his skinny Loni, but suddenly his whole body getting through convulsive shudder. As if struck by lightning. Edward looked at the empty bowl and grabbed his head. In a fit of anal ecstasy he forgot about the latest floppy disk with sensitive information, which is specially kept in "secret location" for Anna Chapman. His whole life had turned into not a good side. At this moment the door of the hotel, someone knocked. Snigirёv still stood in confusion, staring glassy-eyed into the abyss of the toilet. The knock on the door again. And then it burst open and on the threshold of the toilet appeared Anna Chapman. Next to her stood a teenage boy spilled Snigirёva copy. Their blue eyes stared at the bare bottom of their father the family, meditate over the toilet. In typical birthmark on the right buttock, is shaped like a spot on the forehead of Gorbachev, Anna Chapman recognized her their heroic husband.
P.S.



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