Tales from Donetsk. Scary!

Scaring scary "Donetsk" was fashionable a decade ago. The image of the city in which they live terrible people, created good political strategists. It seemed to work and their myths to die. But no - the legends do not die so easily. According to "Donetsk conduct».

Especially when politicians want to offer voters something simple, vivid and convincing. This scary myths about Donetsk proved to be beneficial to several political camps. Some frightened voters Donetsk, Donetsk arguments to convince others "how we do not like - vote for her».

Donetsk residents themselves to terrible stories about the city are treated with humor. Dispelling the myths of words - a thankless task. Where fun inflate these myths and cultivate what we are going to do. All the myths collected by the author will say "it's true" and explain why. So, imagine all the terrible stories of Donetsk - the truth. It is true, as you have not heard, but now look at. So, welcome to the Mordor. However, in comparison with the mythical Mordor Donetsk clearly looks. Resort. The author, by the way, from Donetsk. Why by the way? And it is now always the way.

The terrible truth

1. In Donetsk, almost all were. Who has not sat - will soon sit down and he was sitting brother and father. It's true. The Donetsk still do? The mines are working newcomers from other regions, factories do not know who. How do we even know who work at the plant - we are constantly engaged in jails and prisons. Once a look. Maybe no factories and not at all?

2. Here, all the miners. Donchane constantly climb into the mine (as a rule - in illegal), and then go to the sauna. It's true. As we explained in myth number one - no plants there. It is necessary to something to occupy yourself in short breaks between stints. That pulls us into the ground. However, the sauna is actually not any sauna with cheerful girl, but just a big shower. It's called since Czarist times bath - hence the confusion. Of course, a sauna with the girls better and we're working on. But time is short - we're constantly sitting.

3. The city is divided by Rinat Akhmetov and Viktor Yanukovych - no one else is doing business. That's true, but it is not necessary to talk about Akhmetov and Yanukovych. They learn that it is rumored to possession of a stall shawarma and can enraged for evermore. And do not tell Kolesnikov. And Gumenyuk. And Gaiduk with Taruta. Generally it is best not to tell anyone. And of course, we shared. In Donetsk passes specially painted border. In fact, many believe that every person is familiar with from Donetsk Rinat Akhmetov. Seriously, many ask for something in the transfer case. For example, to replace a midfielder or striker to look at from the Dnieper. Can you imagine if six million fans Shakhtar had the opportunity after every match Akhmetov personally convey something even a short phrase "played great," or "this time no luck"? That's just the time - how many hours per day should be? And we also have to sit still.

4. There are not yet aware that the Soviet Union came to an end, I love Russia and hate the EU. It's true. Many even think that sitting in Moscow and ruled Nicholas Romanov. How do we learn the news - a prison, where we all sit, not a resort. No TV. And we love Russia, because there are still many prisons in which we were sitting. A European prisons too clean, comfortable some hotels. It's disgusting to sit. No romance. We do not want the European Union.

5. People on the team are massively vote for Yanukovych and the Party of Regions. All as one. The dead get up and go. It's true. That's just not even in the Donetsk and in the region is home to only 10% of the population of Ukraine. So that we ourselves would never have mastered victory. So many hidden Donetsk in other regions? And in the last parliamentary elections in 2012 in the areas reached 65% of voters and 60% of them gave voice AVE. This is 39% of the voters in the region. 40% of the men have chosen another party. In general, there is something to ponder the next time his release.

6. Donetsk - not Ukraine. Here, hate Ukraine - for talking in Ukrainian trounced. It's true. They can not, and certainly beat. And even speak Ukrainian is not necessary - you can defiantly silent. There always someone shoots someone. Kravatku corrected and such LYaPAS give that poor guest gepnetsya the ground. Get out Nekhay tremtyat Wuxi. By the way, when you can not catch the speaker in Ukrainian, we bashed the English-speaking, Russian and even each other. Wow itself as something to entertain between stints. There is no movie theaters, no clubs, no televisions to computers in homes there.

7. In Donetsk, they all go with baseball bats. It's true. But do not go, and go. Just everyone has a car - or, what are we criminals? Bandit-pedestrian, this is nonsense, sorry for the wrong word to the image. Donetsk all the capital of baseball. For the year in Donetsk were sold 17982 baseball bats, three baseball ball and a glove. All Kiev know what a baseball glove? That's it! And when the state inspector in Donetsk stops the car, and he says: "Present law, a bat and a certificate of exemption." Walk in Donetsk without bits of rudeness and is considered a challenge to society. And in wardrobes Opera (in the Drama Theatre and the Philharmonic so long ago) cloakroom require a bit of a loop has been sewn. Otherwise swear. However, some bad people brought from Europe unhealthy fashion - intellectuals golf clubs. The thing is, of course, equally effective, but our mentality alien to the Orthodox.

8. Here, the most expensive cars. It's true. Therefore, the most cunning of Donetsk residents have long realized that it is cheaper to buy cars in Kiev. Really cheaper. On the money saved they buy in Kiev even an apartment. So in this jump, we lose the best companions. However, the most expensive car, by the way.

9. Donetsk residence - a guarantee of a successful career. It's true. In Donetsk, people were already afraid to go out because they are caught and sent to senior positions in other regions of Ukraine. Here Sergei Arbuzov went - and disappeared. Alexander Klimenko - for a year can not be found. Yes there Donetsk - rowing has from Makeyevka, in Yenakiyevo. Only Gorlovka still somehow keeps. With that something needs to be done if all leave to lead - who will sit? Who will sometimes work in the mine? I'm not talking about the threat of collapse of the market baseball bats.

To continue the list indefinitely. Myths are so numerous that it is time to publish a book. All donchane polls listen exclusively chanson, so full of rooms at the Ocean Elzy, explosives or DDT Aquarium - are inexplicable. And what is generally a few dozen radio stations? Who listens? More Donetsk very bold (well, a bit is always at your fingertips) and are not afraid of anyone except Yenakiyevo. Yes there Yenakiyevo and Gorlovka to Kramatorsk - we ourselves have fear. To mirror scared to approach. Maybe we have and do not reflect at all?

In general, come to our town and terrible themselves to make sure. Let's meet at the train station, a beautiful guest received a special bat, only warn in advance - preferably by letter. Well, in the prisons, not all phones, and we're all sitting time. Especially we are pleased guests from Lviv and Kiev - for them a lot of questions. Shakhtar are very interested in whether it was true that in Lviv for the Russian word immediately taken out and killed in the Carpathian Mountains? How Lvov distinguish each other, if at all, and forelocks Dovgy Busan? Do not lie about that every resident of Kiev at least three apartments which he takes visitors expensive, and therefore there is no resident of Kiev had never worked? What do you think - only about Donetsk tales compose?

Author Cyril Sazonov for The Kiev Times

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