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10 Most Wonderful military experiments
For us, the military in each country there is a secret room in which sit stoned dudes, and come up with all sorts of crap. Not only that - to implement their ideas at their disposal there are billions of dollars.
In support of his theory of "secret room with stoned dudes" we offer hits the real military projects that are simply beyond the scope of imagination sober:
№ 10. Bats bombers
Based on the assumption that any weapon would be much steeper if he is able to fly at night in their leather wings in the 40s a dental surgeon offered to make bats bombers. The president, of course, thought it was a lovely idea, so there was a plan that night was to be unsafe for those who do not want to have his hair tangled explosives. Plan:
Based on the fact that bats can carry a decent load, penetrate into the building and all the military set out to create an army of flying rodents suicide and to incite her to Japan. Crumbs were transferred to a small napalm charges, which were perhaps the most charming ever created incendiary devices. For them built special boxes that were dropped from a B-29 bomber, releasing the mouse.
At dawn they were to fly away on the buildings, and then the timer is activated to their small bomb. Here's a garbage.
What went wrong:
The thing went wrong when accidentally released several armed mice, and they flew into the garage under the fuel tank at a military air base. Yes, it burned to the ground. But listen, it means that the mouse work! Project participants took this as a ray of hope.
Given that the box was placed over 1000 mice, they figured that one bomber was able to take on board up to 200,000 small fire monsters, but some tests have confirmed that the "mouse" is superior to conventional bombs firebombed.
However, spending on a project a couple of million bucks, he turned. He was moving too slowly, mice behaved unpredictably, and the guys from the Manhattan Project started talking about some miracle bomb, which allegedly could replace a million mice.
№ 9. Great Panjandrum
To break through the enemy's defenses are always difficult, as it seeks to build its defenses of stone and other hard materials. It happens that the traditional weapons can not break through them, as was the case with concrete barriers, serve as part of the Third Reich, the Atlantic Wall, which stretched along the western coast of the European continent. Therefore, the British invented Panjandrum - crazy response to the question "how to make explosives more dangerous?».
Plan:
As in the concrete wall of a hole the size of a tank? They made two huge wooden wheels connected by a drum stuffed with explosives. Each wheel of a rocket strapped to this building they broke up to 60 miles / hour. Life imitates art, and sometimes military life imitating cartoon about Coyote.
What went wrong:
You can guess. The missiles that move this thing, were in the habit to fly from the wheels during the test, which is why the entire structure off track, it seems to us, has created a series of threats. Adding missiles and another wheel design tested again and this time it went straight into the sea.
Finally, after numerous modifications, all was ready for the gun to demonstrate in front of Navy officials, academics and journalists. What then could possibly go wrong?
First wacky contraption rolled as expected, but then, like a drunken girl, who suffers from vertigo, she began to wag, and rushed toward the cones of the Navy, spreading missiles before finally collapsed and exploded. After a few moments, swept past the Road Runner.
№ 8. Draft Orcon
During the Second World War, the enemy delivered a lot of trouble that is constantly trying to avoid the bombing. Due to the fact that he used a variety of means, interfere with the missile guidance systems, many goals remained unexploded. It was therefore decided to come up with a way of guidance, that it was impossible to prevent.
Plan:
Skinner suggested using pigeons. Place the pigeons in the bomb, and let the goal is displayed in front of him. Dove would be corrected course, pecking the target image in the center of the display. A Come on, stop it, the Nazi assholes!
What went wrong:
Despite the fact that the project spent a lot of money, the military was abandoned. It is said that it was too strange for them, and training the pigeons takes time. One problem was the range of this weapon, as it works by the optical system, and the dove was to see that peck. If the bomb too much deviated from the course, the pigeon would have to adjust himself and her. Another problem was that, after all, it was a bomb, guided bird!
№ 7. Solar Gun
Destroy enemies from outer space - that's the goal of all chetyrehklassnikov and Scientologists. Few people know, but it was the same view to the Nazis: they believed that if you connect the space station and the death ray, it will generally awesome.
Plan:
Appropriating works oppressed minds, Nazi physicists began to think about how to put into orbit a giant mirror. This mirror, which intends to produce from almost a million tons of metallic sodium was incinerating the city evaporated reservoir fry people like bacon, and do what children do with a magnifying glass, crowding around the ant hills, and feelings of inadequacy excitement.
Mirror should be placed on the space station inhabited by fascist astronauts in magnetic boots to overcome weightlessness, oxygen was produced by growing pumpkins on the board, and electricity - using steam dynamos powered by solar panels. In the dining room would always be well and lovingly prepared meals and rest room would be built from children's dreams and gonads unicorns.
What went wrong:
We. By "we" means all nefashisty - colloquial name allies. When it became clear that we will win the war, the US began to deport German scientists from the country, and this plan, along with a variety of other plans were stopped. Another obstacle has served as the enormity of the scale and essence of the most shocking idea. Even now, in 2008, we would not be able to build such a contraption, if you wanted to.
And believe me, we want to.
№ 6. Project Habbakuk
When Winston Churchill was impatient to defeat all the enemies, he set himself a big goal. More precisely - he looked into the ocean, where he wanted to build an island called "Holy shit, this is crazy." Then, it was renamed "Project Habbakuk». It was an aircraft carrier. Iceberg.
Plan:
Wanting to create an unsinkable aircraft carrier, so huge, that when his enemies as irresistibly arrange, the British invented Habbakuk. Its going to build ice (tried to drown ice cube?), 2000-foot-long (~ 609, 6 m.), With a deck, calculated to a depth of 200 feet (~ 60 96 m.), And sides thickness of 40 feet (~ 12 192 m.). That is, this thing would be really huge.
When it became clear that the ice is not really suitable as a material for the construction of an aircraft carrier, they switched to an article entitled "paykrit» (Pykrete), which was a frozen mixture of water and sawdust. Material to be so strong, reflecting bullets, as well as the idea itself has been perhaps the craziest of all, ever conceived, then why not?
What went wrong:
Practicality. Reduced copy built in Canada to test the functionality of the idea. It weighed 1000 tons, and length is 60 feet (18 ~ 288 m.). It took three summers to damn thing melted. For the construction of full-scale aircraft carrier would need $ 70 million. 8000 persons and 8 months. He could move only at a speed of 6 knots, and arriving at your destination, would have remained a fucking block of ice.
№ 5. Project Stargate (Stargate)
Unfortunately, the Stargate project had nothing to do with battles with aliens, pretends to Egyptian gods and was just a way to say goodbye to the CIA $ 20 million. And get a funny story that you can tell the grandchildren. The aim of the project was to determine the possibility of telepathic vision at a distance, because if it were possible, the spy would be much easier.
Plan:
Apparently, during the Cold War, the Communists were spending a lot of money on a paranormal investigation. If they were doing, the guys from the CIA also did not want to keep, until the red have not released any guy who can kill the President of the power of thought. In the '70s a project was launched Stargate, which involved a team of outstanding and talented psychics of the Church of Scientology. Seriously.
What went wrong:
They immediately realized that this whole undertaking with telepathic vision at a distance was nothing. Under "immediately" we mean 25 years. The project worked until 1995
Research regarding the validity of the project concluded that telepathy still could see something, but it was only a drop in the ocean of absolute nonsense. Many even claim that the experiments produced the same results as if a group of random homeless people betrayed their wild assumptions, and to uncover the enemy's lair, one might as well make the camel spit on the map.
And we said that to learn this, it spent $ 20 million.? Do not worry, Russian spent on the same 500 mln. Rubles.
№ 4. «Blue» Bomb
When it comes to great military planning since the first ape-man hurled a stone at another ape asshole, to the future of our times with a laser and nanobots that can melt the faces of those who disliked us, nothing can compete with the Blue bomb. It operates the bomb according to its title - the enemy breaks from homosexual desires. This suicidal homosexual desires.
Plan:
As a means of crowd control are now in high demand, and tear gas the same benefits as from hipparskih daisies and curtains with beads, Wright Laboratory (Wright Laboratory) of Ohio offered the Pentagon a few types of non-lethal weapons. Why not bathe the crowd in a powerful aphrodisiac to all enemy soldiers lined up for oral sex?
So, maybe these ideas do not come from the children stoned and crazy by perverts?
What went wrong:
As an idea, it's probably true that the enemy will be less effective if it is embroiled in a mass orgy of violent men. But science has not come up with a means for it to do with any given group of males.
Apparently, the question of "how" is not within the competence of the Department of ideas, because the same laboratory has proposed several types of weapons. For example, a weapon that causes the bug and rodent attack enemies; or a weapon, as a result of which the enemy appears halitosis or all of it begins to exude a stench that will not allow to get lost among the civilian population. All of this, of course, it would be well and good if the appropriate means existed in reality.
Despite this, the Pentagon still seven years sucking the idea, not based, perhaps, on anything other than private fantasies of pent-General.
№ 3. Beam pain
Active Denial System (Active Denial System - ADS), which is often called "pain ray", was developed as a means of crowd control, and does exactly what it implies, and the nickname - causes pain. At a distance!
Plan:
In certain situations, the military did not want to be too close to people approaching the source of the danger, but they also do not want to shoot buyanyaschuyu crowd with the help of sniper lurking on some grassy knoll, because it did not like the press. Therefore, the development of non-lethal weapons that cause people to do what you wish, has recently become a very popular pastime.
In short, there was the Active Denial System - long-range weapons, which uses high-frequency electromagnetic radiation is directed to the target at a distance of 500 yards (457 ~ 2 m.). As a result of its actions water molecules in human skin "excited", or more simply - you fry in the microwave. But without causing any permanent damage. Probably.
What went wrong:
Nothing yet. They built this thing, and it works. Work on creation of ADS have begun over a decade ago, and after many trials, the US armed forces, apparently badly want as soon as possible to try it out in Iraq.
Given the lack of research in the field of long-term effects and long-term effects of these weapons, the question arises whether this idea is so good? After all, no one has yet volunteered to check out what it's like when your eyes are treated by microwaves, so ... This thing called "pain ray" and not "Rainbow shooter." That's what you get if you do not rassoseshsya itself spiteful crowd!
№ 2. Malodourants
Another type of non-lethal means of crowd control, and psychological weapons - bombs, or foul-smelling substances with bad smell that create a stink, and you can not imagine. Worse than rotten meat, clogged drain or a trip with my dad to the dump in search of a gift for my mother on the anniversary.
Plan:
The armed forces are busy with this undertaking for the past several decades. It has been patented several odors including the smell of human faeces, and, probably, every day at about 8 in the morning we have to pay someone a decent fee. During World War II, some intrepid people have come up with something with a funny name "Who am I?", As a way of handling the Germans fled and humiliation of their dignity by means of smell worse than a crowded bus.
In the United States it was made something like "the American government standard restroom bad smell," which, apparently, was so bad that people are exposed to it, just immediately started yelling. Written records describe him as the bad smell you can imagine, folded with itself and multiplied by 10. Eyewitnesses say that from him even a visible cloud of stink, like in a cartoon. The military, as we also think it's funny, and want to throw it in people.
What went wrong:
Despite the fact that such ideas are still being developed, in practice and historical experience confirms this, everything is not so smooth, given that in the end you too will stink so that, God forbid. During World War II, means "Who am I?" And it was not possible to use a truly effective, as a result, not only began to stink goals, but also the bomber, and the whole territory where exploded the bomb.
The stench - a very fickle lady, and she does not obey anyone.
№ 1. Acoustic Pussy
When you think of espionage, it is likely to think of how to push the radio into a cat so that he can go anywhere and eavesdrop. If not, then you should think hard about what you do for the people. In short, 60 years of the guys from the CIA hatched this idea to make a cat listening device and shove it some dirty communists.
Plan:
Perhaps the one who came up with the idea of this project, tried every possible way to destroy any information regarding "how" and "why?", But, nevertheless, those that have survived, is a plan according to which the cat is implanted battery microphone, antenna and passing through the tail. They would let him, and no one would have guessed the riddle of what carries this cat sitting nearby.
What went wrong:
Public transport. It turns out that for some strange logic, if the cat put the battery, microphone and antenna, it will not be immune to the taxis. So, after spending millions of dollars and several years to research, the CIA released her cat spy on the test ride, and moved his taxi.
The project is written off, and since then no one about him not stutter.
Link to source
In support of his theory of "secret room with stoned dudes" we offer hits the real military projects that are simply beyond the scope of imagination sober:
№ 10. Bats bombers
Based on the assumption that any weapon would be much steeper if he is able to fly at night in their leather wings in the 40s a dental surgeon offered to make bats bombers. The president, of course, thought it was a lovely idea, so there was a plan that night was to be unsafe for those who do not want to have his hair tangled explosives. Plan:
Based on the fact that bats can carry a decent load, penetrate into the building and all the military set out to create an army of flying rodents suicide and to incite her to Japan. Crumbs were transferred to a small napalm charges, which were perhaps the most charming ever created incendiary devices. For them built special boxes that were dropped from a B-29 bomber, releasing the mouse.
At dawn they were to fly away on the buildings, and then the timer is activated to their small bomb. Here's a garbage.
What went wrong:
The thing went wrong when accidentally released several armed mice, and they flew into the garage under the fuel tank at a military air base. Yes, it burned to the ground. But listen, it means that the mouse work! Project participants took this as a ray of hope.
Given that the box was placed over 1000 mice, they figured that one bomber was able to take on board up to 200,000 small fire monsters, but some tests have confirmed that the "mouse" is superior to conventional bombs firebombed.
However, spending on a project a couple of million bucks, he turned. He was moving too slowly, mice behaved unpredictably, and the guys from the Manhattan Project started talking about some miracle bomb, which allegedly could replace a million mice.
№ 9. Great Panjandrum
To break through the enemy's defenses are always difficult, as it seeks to build its defenses of stone and other hard materials. It happens that the traditional weapons can not break through them, as was the case with concrete barriers, serve as part of the Third Reich, the Atlantic Wall, which stretched along the western coast of the European continent. Therefore, the British invented Panjandrum - crazy response to the question "how to make explosives more dangerous?».
Plan:
As in the concrete wall of a hole the size of a tank? They made two huge wooden wheels connected by a drum stuffed with explosives. Each wheel of a rocket strapped to this building they broke up to 60 miles / hour. Life imitates art, and sometimes military life imitating cartoon about Coyote.
What went wrong:
You can guess. The missiles that move this thing, were in the habit to fly from the wheels during the test, which is why the entire structure off track, it seems to us, has created a series of threats. Adding missiles and another wheel design tested again and this time it went straight into the sea.
Finally, after numerous modifications, all was ready for the gun to demonstrate in front of Navy officials, academics and journalists. What then could possibly go wrong?
First wacky contraption rolled as expected, but then, like a drunken girl, who suffers from vertigo, she began to wag, and rushed toward the cones of the Navy, spreading missiles before finally collapsed and exploded. After a few moments, swept past the Road Runner.
№ 8. Draft Orcon
During the Second World War, the enemy delivered a lot of trouble that is constantly trying to avoid the bombing. Due to the fact that he used a variety of means, interfere with the missile guidance systems, many goals remained unexploded. It was therefore decided to come up with a way of guidance, that it was impossible to prevent.
Plan:
Skinner suggested using pigeons. Place the pigeons in the bomb, and let the goal is displayed in front of him. Dove would be corrected course, pecking the target image in the center of the display. A Come on, stop it, the Nazi assholes!
What went wrong:
Despite the fact that the project spent a lot of money, the military was abandoned. It is said that it was too strange for them, and training the pigeons takes time. One problem was the range of this weapon, as it works by the optical system, and the dove was to see that peck. If the bomb too much deviated from the course, the pigeon would have to adjust himself and her. Another problem was that, after all, it was a bomb, guided bird!
№ 7. Solar Gun
Destroy enemies from outer space - that's the goal of all chetyrehklassnikov and Scientologists. Few people know, but it was the same view to the Nazis: they believed that if you connect the space station and the death ray, it will generally awesome.
Plan:
Appropriating works oppressed minds, Nazi physicists began to think about how to put into orbit a giant mirror. This mirror, which intends to produce from almost a million tons of metallic sodium was incinerating the city evaporated reservoir fry people like bacon, and do what children do with a magnifying glass, crowding around the ant hills, and feelings of inadequacy excitement.
Mirror should be placed on the space station inhabited by fascist astronauts in magnetic boots to overcome weightlessness, oxygen was produced by growing pumpkins on the board, and electricity - using steam dynamos powered by solar panels. In the dining room would always be well and lovingly prepared meals and rest room would be built from children's dreams and gonads unicorns.
What went wrong:
We. By "we" means all nefashisty - colloquial name allies. When it became clear that we will win the war, the US began to deport German scientists from the country, and this plan, along with a variety of other plans were stopped. Another obstacle has served as the enormity of the scale and essence of the most shocking idea. Even now, in 2008, we would not be able to build such a contraption, if you wanted to.
And believe me, we want to.
№ 6. Project Habbakuk
When Winston Churchill was impatient to defeat all the enemies, he set himself a big goal. More precisely - he looked into the ocean, where he wanted to build an island called "Holy shit, this is crazy." Then, it was renamed "Project Habbakuk». It was an aircraft carrier. Iceberg.
Plan:
Wanting to create an unsinkable aircraft carrier, so huge, that when his enemies as irresistibly arrange, the British invented Habbakuk. Its going to build ice (tried to drown ice cube?), 2000-foot-long (~ 609, 6 m.), With a deck, calculated to a depth of 200 feet (~ 60 96 m.), And sides thickness of 40 feet (~ 12 192 m.). That is, this thing would be really huge.
When it became clear that the ice is not really suitable as a material for the construction of an aircraft carrier, they switched to an article entitled "paykrit» (Pykrete), which was a frozen mixture of water and sawdust. Material to be so strong, reflecting bullets, as well as the idea itself has been perhaps the craziest of all, ever conceived, then why not?
What went wrong:
Practicality. Reduced copy built in Canada to test the functionality of the idea. It weighed 1000 tons, and length is 60 feet (18 ~ 288 m.). It took three summers to damn thing melted. For the construction of full-scale aircraft carrier would need $ 70 million. 8000 persons and 8 months. He could move only at a speed of 6 knots, and arriving at your destination, would have remained a fucking block of ice.
№ 5. Project Stargate (Stargate)
Unfortunately, the Stargate project had nothing to do with battles with aliens, pretends to Egyptian gods and was just a way to say goodbye to the CIA $ 20 million. And get a funny story that you can tell the grandchildren. The aim of the project was to determine the possibility of telepathic vision at a distance, because if it were possible, the spy would be much easier.
Plan:
Apparently, during the Cold War, the Communists were spending a lot of money on a paranormal investigation. If they were doing, the guys from the CIA also did not want to keep, until the red have not released any guy who can kill the President of the power of thought. In the '70s a project was launched Stargate, which involved a team of outstanding and talented psychics of the Church of Scientology. Seriously.
What went wrong:
They immediately realized that this whole undertaking with telepathic vision at a distance was nothing. Under "immediately" we mean 25 years. The project worked until 1995
Research regarding the validity of the project concluded that telepathy still could see something, but it was only a drop in the ocean of absolute nonsense. Many even claim that the experiments produced the same results as if a group of random homeless people betrayed their wild assumptions, and to uncover the enemy's lair, one might as well make the camel spit on the map.
And we said that to learn this, it spent $ 20 million.? Do not worry, Russian spent on the same 500 mln. Rubles.
№ 4. «Blue» Bomb
When it comes to great military planning since the first ape-man hurled a stone at another ape asshole, to the future of our times with a laser and nanobots that can melt the faces of those who disliked us, nothing can compete with the Blue bomb. It operates the bomb according to its title - the enemy breaks from homosexual desires. This suicidal homosexual desires.
Plan:
As a means of crowd control are now in high demand, and tear gas the same benefits as from hipparskih daisies and curtains with beads, Wright Laboratory (Wright Laboratory) of Ohio offered the Pentagon a few types of non-lethal weapons. Why not bathe the crowd in a powerful aphrodisiac to all enemy soldiers lined up for oral sex?
So, maybe these ideas do not come from the children stoned and crazy by perverts?
What went wrong:
As an idea, it's probably true that the enemy will be less effective if it is embroiled in a mass orgy of violent men. But science has not come up with a means for it to do with any given group of males.
Apparently, the question of "how" is not within the competence of the Department of ideas, because the same laboratory has proposed several types of weapons. For example, a weapon that causes the bug and rodent attack enemies; or a weapon, as a result of which the enemy appears halitosis or all of it begins to exude a stench that will not allow to get lost among the civilian population. All of this, of course, it would be well and good if the appropriate means existed in reality.
Despite this, the Pentagon still seven years sucking the idea, not based, perhaps, on anything other than private fantasies of pent-General.
№ 3. Beam pain
Active Denial System (Active Denial System - ADS), which is often called "pain ray", was developed as a means of crowd control, and does exactly what it implies, and the nickname - causes pain. At a distance!
Plan:
In certain situations, the military did not want to be too close to people approaching the source of the danger, but they also do not want to shoot buyanyaschuyu crowd with the help of sniper lurking on some grassy knoll, because it did not like the press. Therefore, the development of non-lethal weapons that cause people to do what you wish, has recently become a very popular pastime.
In short, there was the Active Denial System - long-range weapons, which uses high-frequency electromagnetic radiation is directed to the target at a distance of 500 yards (457 ~ 2 m.). As a result of its actions water molecules in human skin "excited", or more simply - you fry in the microwave. But without causing any permanent damage. Probably.
What went wrong:
Nothing yet. They built this thing, and it works. Work on creation of ADS have begun over a decade ago, and after many trials, the US armed forces, apparently badly want as soon as possible to try it out in Iraq.
Given the lack of research in the field of long-term effects and long-term effects of these weapons, the question arises whether this idea is so good? After all, no one has yet volunteered to check out what it's like when your eyes are treated by microwaves, so ... This thing called "pain ray" and not "Rainbow shooter." That's what you get if you do not rassoseshsya itself spiteful crowd!
№ 2. Malodourants
Another type of non-lethal means of crowd control, and psychological weapons - bombs, or foul-smelling substances with bad smell that create a stink, and you can not imagine. Worse than rotten meat, clogged drain or a trip with my dad to the dump in search of a gift for my mother on the anniversary.
Plan:
The armed forces are busy with this undertaking for the past several decades. It has been patented several odors including the smell of human faeces, and, probably, every day at about 8 in the morning we have to pay someone a decent fee. During World War II, some intrepid people have come up with something with a funny name "Who am I?", As a way of handling the Germans fled and humiliation of their dignity by means of smell worse than a crowded bus.
In the United States it was made something like "the American government standard restroom bad smell," which, apparently, was so bad that people are exposed to it, just immediately started yelling. Written records describe him as the bad smell you can imagine, folded with itself and multiplied by 10. Eyewitnesses say that from him even a visible cloud of stink, like in a cartoon. The military, as we also think it's funny, and want to throw it in people.
What went wrong:
Despite the fact that such ideas are still being developed, in practice and historical experience confirms this, everything is not so smooth, given that in the end you too will stink so that, God forbid. During World War II, means "Who am I?" And it was not possible to use a truly effective, as a result, not only began to stink goals, but also the bomber, and the whole territory where exploded the bomb.
The stench - a very fickle lady, and she does not obey anyone.
№ 1. Acoustic Pussy
When you think of espionage, it is likely to think of how to push the radio into a cat so that he can go anywhere and eavesdrop. If not, then you should think hard about what you do for the people. In short, 60 years of the guys from the CIA hatched this idea to make a cat listening device and shove it some dirty communists.
Plan:
Perhaps the one who came up with the idea of this project, tried every possible way to destroy any information regarding "how" and "why?", But, nevertheless, those that have survived, is a plan according to which the cat is implanted battery microphone, antenna and passing through the tail. They would let him, and no one would have guessed the riddle of what carries this cat sitting nearby.
What went wrong:
Public transport. It turns out that for some strange logic, if the cat put the battery, microphone and antenna, it will not be immune to the taxis. So, after spending millions of dollars and several years to research, the CIA released her cat spy on the test ride, and moved his taxi.
The project is written off, and since then no one about him not stutter.
Link to source