How to kill the wall sibya

How to kill the wall
Here are some frequently recommended to kill himself on the wall. But until something nobody could do it. I think that just no one knows how, why, and wrote the following instructions.

So, there are several possible ways to carry out such a suicide.

1. "reciprocating" aka «Brute force»
Waste on the 15 steps from the walls, scatter, keep hitting the wall if alive - waste at the source, and repeat until there is a possibility.
Disadvantages: Often requires a lot of time, the result is highly dependent on the physical condition of the subject, the low probability of success because of the potential to lose consciousness conceived achievements.
Advantages: The relative simplicity, does not require mental abilities to perform, you can vopolzovatsya any sufficiently strong wall.
Summary: A perfect way to not very gifted people, cramped in the media.

2. "Greek", also known as "Method of Archimedes»
In ancient Greece, too, liked to recommend each other to be killed on the wall. However, the Greeks were very subtly intelligent citizens who lived in houses of clay, so the use of "reciprocal" method does not give effect. And then the famous Greek inventor Archimedes decided to help the suffering citizens. He realized that the poor Greeks did not have enough speed at the approach to the wall, and therefore proposed to use to disperse samoubivatsya its recent invention - a catapult. The subject sat in a bowl catapult, took his arm, and with all the dope flew into the ramparts. Efficacy was almost 100% of the citizens were happy, and even a simple Archimedes of his habit of yelling at the whole city "Eureka, eureka!" In the bathroom at night.

Disadvantages: need expensive and catapult fortification, both to get close nowadays problematic
Advantages: the joy of flight, a plaque romanticism, introduction to Greek culture, high efficiency.
Summary: The perfect way to archaeologists, anthropologists and historians, as well as in love with the Greek culture of citizens.

3. "Poseidon", aka "Sea method».
Another method based on the idea of ​​bargain body needed momentum when meeting with the wall. You must be on board the vessel about to be moored to the quay wall strong. Just before the approach of berthing need to tie him to the board on the other side, which is going to be moored. The ship will approach to the jetty, dolbanet of his body to kill, munch, Peck, and you're done.
Advantages: ease of implementation, relative cheapness, perfect result
Disadvantages: need to calculate the height of the fixing body to vmahatsya in the dock, or will confusion.
Summary: suitable for sailors and participants cruises

4. «Tarzan»
It is necessary to find a sufficiently high vertical wall. Fixed on top of her rope, set in front at a distance of wall height platform, and takes her to the free end of the rope. With the cry "Yayayayaya" cling to the rope and jump to the platform. The body describes a quarter-circle with a radius equal to the length of the rope, flies on the wall, and voila - it's done.
Advantages: effective way reflects the wild nature kills
Disadvantages: You can not calculate the length of the rope and fly instead of a wall in the ground, thus ruining the whole idea
Summary: It is recommended physically prepared citizens who are experiencing psychological distress in an urban environment

5. "The Egyptian", it «Tomb Raider»
As you know, the walls of Egyptian pyramids were once covered with gravel, but then rasstaschili rubble, and now the walls resemble lestinitsy high steps. The idea is to climb to the top of the pyramid and begin to tumble down. Height of large, sharp angles, long live you will not tumble. And while you are tumbling down, technically you ubilis the wall, as it is still a wall of the pyramid.
Advantages: nice way to kill gives a chance to make history and become famous
Disadvantages: climb up without improvised quite difficult. In addition, it is possible to run into anger after the death of the pharaohs - and the dead and the living, with pistols and whistles.
Summary: suitable for tourists wishing to join the eternity zanishtyak

6. "Hi-tech»
Recently it became popular marketing technique of computer companies, which consists in the establishment of the store so-called "wall of monitors" Gondola, cluttered monitors, translates all the small stuff. The idea is to get up at the wall and pull the rack itself, bring down all monitors. Weight of a CRT monitor can be up to 25 kg, plus electric shocks - is enough to flatten and fry.
Advantages: effective and technologically advanced way to
Disadvantages: CRT-monitors are not sold nearly as well crush ourselves a bunch of LCD monitors is problematic. We must look for a shop that sells professional CRT-monitor large diagonals.
Summary: The fans can be applied high technology, after the death of dreaming to get into the Matrix

7. "cportivno-»
Kill yourself apstenu players
I think we can still greatly annoy the players (at least through the infliction of pain on the spot, which is covered with a hand, for greater effect can be provided with accompanying text obscene content). Death of the wall is assumed.
Benefits: You will be shown on television and millions of bastards would envy, and you can take revenge for Beckham lazhovye all his punches.
Disadvantages: to break into the field without purchasing a ticket beforehand, it seems unlikely, and you do not match up to the end of the inspection
Summary: if you hate football, then such a death in the world is to have a very red

8. "Wet»
Lomanut into a wall of rain. and drown. it kanesh, we must contrive to pose for the dying and did not stint time. * updated grayscaler * Also rain may be acidic and corrode mortal body to the bone. Sometimes rain accompanied by lightning, some of them reaches the bystanders. And the wall of rain in the blink of an eye can become a wall of hail ... * end *
additions Advantages: not hurt physically and very romantic
Disadvantages: not meant "to kill himself apstenu" and "kill yourself fstene"; the dependence on weather conditions.
Summary: It is recommended to afftaraf living in areas with continuing rainy season.

9. «gothic»
It requires wall that the Arbat, it seems (it's in Moscow, apparently), where all write, in my opinion. her a million thousand times to write "I killed».
Benefits: Stay alive
Disadvantages: still alive
Summary: Ideal for the faint of heart and believe in your creativity afftaraf secretly wanting to stay alive

10. "The formula»
New F1 team, to join the pilot it, and at the Grand Prix of Canada ubitsya the "Wall of Champions».
Advantages: write down in history next to the famous names.
Disadvantages: it is necessary to get to the track, and it is desirable on the car, well, without a helmet. Creating a F1 team is worth about a billion dollars

Summary: The way to kill themselves can only real champion

11. "lamentable»
apstenu crying. required to join. and torn ligaments. die of anguish ligament (well drown in blood or something or whatever it happens).
Disadvantages: If my memory serves me, this death is not yet known to science.
Advantages: You can become the first in the history of mankind.
Summary: suitable for cynics, always use radyh grief for personal gain

12. "drunk»
Based on the concept of relativity "wall". Drunk to nestoyachego state to a pulp. and fall. on the floor. simultaneously hit his head (for sure). relative position of the body in space the floor in this case may well ride the wall.
Advantages: if drunk with friends, you can even get the pleasure of death
Disadvantages: after a certain amount of alcohol the body can sleep protective or temporarily disable
Summary: The method is suitable for not liking a drink with negative reaction to alcohol or alcoholics with the experience, desired to taste the new meth

13. "Social»
kill yourself on the wall of misunderstanding.
Advantages: Again, stay alive
Disadvantages: have to learn "not to understand" all the others, right up to his beloved Barbie dolls
Summary: suitable for those who want to go into otschelniki ascetic

14. "The method of mass riots»
Provoke time rally riots, and riot police will come when a running throw himself on the wall of shields, while Creech various obscenities at them.
Advantages: There is in the eyes of the masses of the people, and with some luck you can even get in the news.
Disadvantages: If the special luck can otdelatsya baton all the protruding parts of the body, and to get to places not so remote. Then again, there it is possible to start the method №1
Summary: suitable for the most ardent champions of something, loving pomitingovat

15. "The Old»
Arts kill yourself up the wall is well known in Russia for centuries. Kill yourself up the wall was made once a year, during a special holiday - the Carnival, a large gathering of people. Those wishing to do this honorable procedure for the year recruited quite a lot, so they were divided into two teams, or "wall", stripped to the waist, the cost of a good distance and then with shouts and whistles were running against each other (wall to wall) with frenzied persons crashing at full speed. The few survivors of the first strike was repeated again with a little less zeal.
Today, enthusiasts from the community volunteer conservators are trying to revive this glorious tradition, however, is more rehearsals using helmets and protective clothing is not going. Here is a picture.
Advantages: great historical and sporty way to kill a large number of simultaneous
Disadvantages: only once a year, kills some may remain alive, stripped to the waist to fight cold
Summary: suitable for enthusiasts of historical fencing

16. "musicals»
Buy a DVD-disk with musicals: «Pink Floyd the wall» or in Russian "The Wall". Come home. Sits down on the sofa (chair). To make the volume to maximum. Press the button «PLAY». See it 25 times. If the desired result is not achieved, repeat the procedure. If possible, no other family members, for the wall can touch and.
You can also use the VHS-cassette.

Disadvantages: It is quite a long process of killing depends on the physical and mental abilities. You can cut down before reaching the desired result. Sometimes death comes from the neighbors. When using the VHS-tape problems with rewinding, during which the body can regenerate author.

Advantages: No need to use any particular physical effort.

Summary: Suitable for film fans, and the lazy people ...

Sent Doktar Yvil


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