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5 Unobvious Strategies Instead of Say Thank You
A Harvard University study found that 78 percent of children take parental care for granted. But they are not to blame – our brains are evolutionarily programmed to “get used to the good.” How do you reprogram this circuit? Discover the secrets of neuropsychology and 20-year experience of Montessori educators.
Why are traditional methods not working?
Dr. Andrea Hussack, from the APA, has shown that automatic thank yous do not create gratitude, but rather social mimicry. Three key mistakes:
- The “paradoxical debt” effectThe pressure of obligatory gratitude
- Substitution of conceptsFocus on words instead of emotions
- Cognitive dissonance"You should be grateful" vs. real feelings
Strategy 1: Emotional mapping
The NIH-approved art therapy technique:
Invisible Threads Practice
- Draw a tree with 5 apples
- In each apple is a person/phenomenon that has given something of value.
- Connect colored threads to your life today
- Ask yourself, “What would the world look like without it?”
Strategy 2: Economics of Reciprocity
Create a family currency of gratitude:
- Homemade coins for meaningful actions
- Exchange of "goods": 3 coins = choice of dinner
- A weekly audit of kindness: who gave what to whom?
Strategy 3: Theatre of consequences
The method developed by MIT Media Lab:
Screenplay "A Day Without." . . ?
1. Select an object of gratitude (water, electricity)
2. Simulate his absence for 3 hours
3. Take a video diary of sensations
4. Compare it to real stories from UNICEF
Strategy 4: The Neurobiology of Gratitude
Studies show that gratitude activates the anterior cingulate cortex. How to train:
- "Blind Spots of Gratitude": Find 3 Inconspicuous Gifts of the Day
- “Thank You to Yourself” Technique: A Reflection of Personal Achievements
- Grateful Detective: Finding the Sources of Ordinary Things
Strategy 5: Digital Detox of Good
According to the Pew Research Center, 68% of teenagers associate gratitude with likes on social networks. Alternatives:
Challenge "Analogue Thank You"
- Homemade postcards with nanomarbles
- Graffiti on the school board
- “Voice time capsule”: an audio letter to the future
Glossary
Emotional intelligence
Ability to recognize and manage your own and others’ emotions
Cognitive dissonance
Mental discomfort when conflicting beliefs clash
Neuroplasticity
The property of the brain to change structure under the influence of experience
Positive reinforcement
Stimulating desired behavior through encouragement
